The Only Thing Hotter Than John Cena’s Pecs at the 2024 Oscars? His Birkenstocks

Butt naked in Birks was a brilliantly unhinged choice.

The Oscars — a celebration of achievement in film and an excuse to ogle at the "great gowns, beautiful gowns" of our favorite celebs. Although the award ceremony may be all about movies, it's also kind of all about the fashion. That's why the very last thing we expected to see was wrestler-turned-actor John Cena standing on the stage, butt naked, save for a tactfully positioned envelope and a fresh pair of Birks. Like... oh my God?!

Cena — known for, well, wrestling, but also for films like The Suicide Squad and Argylle — presented the award for Costume Design. Sans costume. After being encouraged to step out from behind a pillar on the stage by host Jimmy Kimmel, Cena proceeded to shuffle awkwardly across the stage, crab-like, holding the envelope in place as the audience cackled in disbelief.

When he finally made it to the microphone, he began his speech with hilarious faux embarrassment. "Costumes..." he began as the audience erupted in laughter. "...they are so important." Point made, John Cena!

There is a lot to unpack in this utterly wild full monty moment. First and foremost, that body! I am not being hyperbolic in saying that Cena is more chiseled than the giant golden statue that stands behind him on the stage. The second thought to enter my brain: Wait, is John Cena a comedic genius? This speech is a tour de force of comedic timing.

Thirdly, we must discuss the Birkenstocks. Butt naked, but for Birks, is a definite choice — and a hilarious one at that. Why not go barefoot? Was he afraid to get his feet dirty? Was it a cute little nod to Kate McKinnon's Weird Barbie? Birkenstocks are certainly having a moment — and evidently, they go with everything, including giant pecs and tree trunk thighs.

Fourth, can we please talk about the iconic behind-the-scenes moment when a team rushed on stage to help orchestrate a quick change as the nominations were read out, leaving Cena draped in what could only be described as a sort of tasseled Grecian robe?

Naturally, the internet is in a state of total meltdown about the entire thing — none of us really know what to do with ourselves in the wake of John Cena's giant naked body on stage at the Oscars:

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