The One Thing You Should Never, Ever Do if You Suffer From Depression, According to Therapists

Emily Laurence
·5 min read
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Woman looking out the window feeling depressed

When you’re depressed, you feel it with your whole mind and body. It impacts so much more than one’s mood—including energy levels, concentration and even immunity. Depression is a thief that robs someone of their joy.

Depression can be complicated to treat—often requiring the help of a mental health professional and, for some, prescription medication. But according to therapists, there are habits that go a long way in supporting mental health when one is experiencing depression. There is also one habit that they say is super common among people who are depressed but actually causes more harm than good.

Related: 7 Science-Backed Ways to Deal With Depression

The Number One Habit To Avoid if You’re Depressed

When you’re depressed, it’s natural to want to be alone. However, according to Anna Jackson, a psychotherapist at The Priory trained in cognitive behavior therapy, spending too much time by yourself can backfire, making depression worse. Instead, she says it’s best to spend time with non-judgemental, loving friends and family—even if you have to force yourself to do it.

Therapist Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, LCPC, LPC, LMHC, NCC, agrees, saying, “Isolation allows a person to spend too much time ruminating on negative thoughts about their self-worth and allows feelings of despair and hopelessness to go unchallenged.”

This doesn’t mean you have to drag yourself out of your room and go to a full-blown party. It can be as simple as getting dressed and meeting a friend for coffee or walking their dog with them around the neighborhood.

If even that feels too overwhelming for you at the moment, inviting a friend over (who truly doesn’t care if you’re in sweats or you have a sink full of dishes) or calling a loved one is a step out of self-isolation that can help.

Related: Here's What Major Depressive Disorder Actually Is—and How It Differs From 'Regular' Depression

As Dr. Degges-White mentioned earlier, one reason why it can be helpful to spend time with others is because they can help challenge negative thought patterns that can lead to a spiral of negative self-talk. This does not mean dismissing hard or traumatic experiences one has experienced. It’s helping someone who is depressed see that not everything in their life is terrible—a thought pattern that it’s easy to slip into when feeling depressed.

Dr. Degges-White says that spending time with others helps someone who is depressed find the motivation they need to re-engage in activities they once enjoyed or to be more active, which can help break the lethargy that depression often brings.

Related: 101 Quotes About Depression to Help You Not Feel So Alone in Your Struggle

Other Ways To Support Your Mental Health if You Are Depressed

Besides spending time with others, there are other habits worth adapting if you’re depressed. Therapist Dr. Krista Jordan, Ph.D. recommends taking care of your physical body through eating nutrient-rich foods, getting enough sleep and exercising, which has extended benefits of supporting mental health. “Not getting enough sleep and not getting proper nutrition can impair the body’s ability to manufacture serotonin, which is necessary for optimal mood,” she says.

A wealth of scientific studies back up the connection between eating nutrient-rich foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep with feeling happier. The Mediterranean diet, ketogenic diet, and vegetarian diet have all been linked to boosting happiness. The same has been found when it comes to eating fruits and vegetables regularly. Exercise (in all its many forms) has been shown to lessen feelings of depression in adults of all ages.

Dr. Jordan also says it can help to be extra mindful of the information you are feeding yourself. “We all are being bombarded daily with news, social media, music, books, TV, and film and sometimes the messages have a depressive theme. Take a break from any depressing input for two weeks and see if that helps reduce the negative thoughts you are experiencing,” she suggests. If you still want to be informed of the news, stick to only reading or watching it for a set timeframe each day so that the content won’t be as overwhelming.

Dr. Jordan says that it’s important to practice self-compassion and to avoid criticizing yourself for how you feel or the negative thoughts you may be having. Jackson adds to this, saying that it can also be helpful to remind yourself that you will not feel this way forever: “For the most part, low mood is temporary and it will pass. It’s particularly important that one doesn’t buy into their thoughts during this time."

If your depression lasts longer than three weeks, Jackson recommends seeking the help of a therapist. If your depression is getting in the way of your ability to function (such as being able to do your job or take care of yourself or others who depend on you), Dr. Degges-White says this is another time when it’s important to see a therapist. “There are many ways to seek help confidentially, including online therapy, and just reaching out to a therapist can be the turning point for someone suffering from depression,” she says. If you are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, call the suicide and crisis lifeline at 988.

It bears repeating that depression is complicated and can feel overwhelming. But you do not have to go through it alone. Make the step to reach out to one person today, whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist. You will not feel this way forever. There are brighter days ahead.

Next up, here are some tips for what to say to someone who is depressed.

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