One of the New 'RHONY' Housewives Always Brings Her Own Toilet Paper to Events
- Oops!Something went wrong.Please try again later.
The new women of RHONY are back this week for their sophomore episode, and in typical rich New Yorker fashion, they're off to the Hamptons (despite it being November). After "cheesegate," dragging an unnamed Manhattan restaurant through the mud and breaking a chair in Jenna Lyons' apartment last week, the six new cast members of The Real Housewives of New York City, are all warmed up and ready to start more drama in Episode 2. As Housewives tradition dictates, they're taking a little "girls trip" weekend getaway that is billed as "fun" and "relaxing" ahead of time, but we know will be anything but.
Related: 'Cheesegate' Explained! Plus Everything Else You Need to Know from the 'RHONY' Premiere
Let's unpack everything that happened in the RHONY Season 14, Episode 2:
Off to the Hamptons
Somewhere in the code of conduct for wealthy New Yorkers there is a bylaw that demands you own a house in the Hamptons and mention it at least once in every conversation you have. Erin Lichy is steadfastly following this rule. As she informs us early on, she and her husband (whom she regularly has sex with despite having three kids) own a 5-bedroom house "out east." They apparently used the money they made on a Bushwick house flip (i.e. gentrifying) to purchase a fixer upper in the Hamptons which they have since fixer upped. Since this new batch of housewives don't really all know each other yet (Jenna still might not even know their names), Erin has taken it upon herself to invite the other ladies out for a off-season Hamptons weekend for some quality time.
Because this is only the second episode and we're still getting to know this new batch of women, this episode isn't so much focused on plot as it is giving us full portraits of these (increasingly bizarre) ladies. As far as the action of the episode goes, the women roadtrip out to the Hamptons, they eat some hors d'oeuvres, they go to dinner and they try on some lingerie. BUT within these fairly mundane events, the producers give us a TREASURE TROVE of facts concerning these new housewives. Let's break them down one at a time.
Brynn Whitfield
Let's get Brynn out of the way first. The CFO (Chief Flirting Officer) was waylaid back in Manhattan for this episode with some type of medical ailment. She phoned to say she was going to get a steroid injection and hoped to rally, but she didn't make it out to Hamptons for the day one festivities. Perhaps for the best since she was the main pot stirrer from Episode 1.
Related: Bring the Drama! Everything about The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 15
Erin Lichy
Through two episodes, Erin has been depicted as both the "no nonsense" New Yorker but she's also seemingly the least flexible and most easily bruised of the crew. She has plans, she thinks they're the best plans and if the other girls don't like them, she is not going to sit idly by.
After cheesegate in Episode 1, Erin is determined to impress the other housewives with a caviar spread as the amuse-bouche (put together by two people just awkwardly loitering in her kitchen). When the other girls want something a little more filling, she's visibly annoyed. She's also annoyed by how many bags the women have brought with them, how the women want special coffee, how they want the shakshuka breakfast after a workout rather than before and how they behave at her favorite restaurant, Topping Rose House. In short, Erin will spend most her time on RHONY in various degrees of annoyance.
The other key takeaway regarding Erin this episode is how much she wants to be friends with Jenna. It is PAINFULLY obvious that Jenna is the most famous and well connected of the six new housewives. She doesn't seem to have any prior connections to the other woman, and so each is vying to be her best friend. Erin is angling for that spot hard, and while she seems ready to throw the other women down a flight of stairs for their eccentricities, she's pretty accommodating of Jenna's.
Erin can also do a handstand.
Jenna Lyons
Jenna still seems a bit unaware as to who the other housewives are, but this episode she's along for the ride. She shows up early to Erin's house (in a gorgeous classic car), lets her self in (which Erin would definitely have been more annoyed about if it was anyone but Jenna) and reminds us all she hates dill. She says she doesn't do sleepovers unless its for sex (because she will remind us she's horny at every possible chance she gets) and that she has never been friends with a group of girls (because she's not like other girls, she's a quirky girl). She has, however, brought lingerie for all the women (see above comment on being horny).
We do however get to see a much softer, more vulnerable side of Jenna this episode. When discussing the lingerie, she reveals that she has a skin condition that has resulted in hyper-pigmented scars all over her body and that's why she opts for cleavage-flashing outfits, because that's one area where she doesn't have scars. She also discusses her mother's death and the fact they were never close because her mother had Asperger's. Plus over dinner, she tells the other women the story of how she was outed as a lesbian by the New York Post while working at J. Crew (J. Crew reference. Check.) Despite Jenna being a bit too cool for school, this episode went a long way to humanize her and explain to viewers why she is the way she is. Perhaps being on Housewives will help her open up and be more vulnerable.
Ubah Hassan
Starting off as a low-key bystander in the premiere, Ubah exposed herself as a true eccentric this week. She's got ALL KINDS of odd quirks and while she's not particularly uptight about them, they do seem likely to cause friction with the others (especially Erin) as we go along. Here's a list:
She doesn't like to sleep in other people's houses.
She eats 5-6 bananas a day.
She's the one who doesn't eat cheese (not Sai).
She is obsessed with the Hamptons grocery store Provisions.
She's always hungry.
She brings a compass with her so she can sit facing north at restaurants as a reminder to be her true self.
She doesn't drink, and the one time she smoked weed she went to the hospital.
She doesn't like sex unless she can have it upwards of five times in one night.
She is a starfish during sex.
She is totally fine wandering into the kitchen of a restaurant uninvited.
She's also fine stealing from the restaurant's pantry.
Ubah is an agent of chaos.
Sai De Silva
While Sai might not have actually made a comment about Erin's cheese board last week, this week proves she's certainly capable of throwing such shade over equally petty things. As a "content creator," she brings over a half dozen bags with her for the three-day trip to the Hamptons, and repeatedly tells us she will be turning looks. (Said looks have yet to be turned). She gripes a bit about Erin's choice of serving caviar, gripes a bit about the trip itinerary and most importantly gripes about *checks notes* the toilet paper.
In what is perhaps the most unhinged thing to happen on the season to date, Sai informs the ladies that she brings her own toilet paper with her on vacations because she is wary of the ply quality that will be available to her. She tells us that growing up poor, she was forced to use one-ply but that now as a wealthy person, she refuses to do so. Worried Erin might be pinching pennies with her TP choice, Sai brings a six-pack with her for the vacay. Obviously this offends Erin, who is serving caviar and certainly has enough money to buy Charmin Ultra Soft.
As someone who has used toilet paper for decades, I can say that while three-ply is always nice, to cart around your own TP to avoid one-ply is bonkers behavior. Life is too short to be fretting about such things.
Jessel Taank
Last, but certainly not least we have Jessel, who reveals to us this week that she has not had sex with her husband since having her children over a year ago. Such a confession is obviously very personal, and I felt bad for Jessel, who was subjected to group interrogation and humiliation regarding her body image and marriage health. Clearly the woman is going through some things and the Nike advice of "just do it," is not particularly kind or helpful.
To exacerbate the issue, Jenna, in a move that would only be pulled by a socially awkward and extremely horny individual, bought the other women lingerie for a lingerie party (that she herself refused to participate in). OBVIOUSLY there were gonna be issues with fit/style/etc., but giving Jessel a frumpy moo moo did nothing to instill confidence in her, and Jessel, already insecure, started lashing out. Rather than recognizing that perhaps they'd hit a sore spot with Jessel, however, the girls, desperate to court Jenna, discussed how rude she was being while complaining about the gift. Jessel does seem a bit insufferable, but I'm on her side for this one. The nightie was hideous. And even for someone who was going to wear two different brand logos in one look (LE GASP), the "Christmas tree" lingerie was unacceptable.
Stay tuned for next week's episode where we get lingerie fallout and Brynn, full of steroids, arrives in the Hamptons.
Next, Here's When Every 'Real Housewives' Franchise Is Coming Back
