Okay, So 'Loki' Isn't Too Sexy For Disney+, but the 'Lizzie McGuire' Reboot Was?

·4 min read
Okay, So 'Loki' Isn't Too Sexy For Disney+, but the 'Lizzie McGuire' Reboot Was?

Imagine my surprise when not even ten minutes into the first episode of Loki and I was looking at Tom Hiddleston, standing there, wearing nothing but a metal collar. Seriously. Loki. As in, the guy from The Avengers. It's only for a moment, but I felt like I needed a cold shower afterwards. *Puts on Karen voice* I'm sorry, but I'd like to speak to the Big Mouse in charge, because I'm pretty sure this kind of kinky content isn't allowed on the family-friendly network.

Okay, in all seriousness, I'm not saying I'm against having sexy shows on Disney+. In fact, I feel the opposite. Give me all the Tom Hiddleston collar moments. But it seems like there's a double standard in what's deemed appropriate on this particular streaming service. I lived through the Lizzie McGuire reboot (RIP) drama of 2020, when Disney+ wanted the show to be rated PG and Hillary Duff herself thought that was inauthentic to the 30-year-old she thought Lizzie would grow up to be. Duff took to Instagram on more than one occasion to voice her concerns.

She even threw a little shade on IG stories when a similar thing happened to Love, Victor, which was kicked to Hulu because its LGBTQ+ themes were apparently too mature for Disney+. The same thing happened to High Fidelity, whose protagonist commits the very sinful act (sarcasm) of having a sex life. That didn't fly at Disney+. So how come I'm counting Tom Hiddleston's abs on a Wednesday morning? That's just as mature as two teenage boys consensually kissing each other. Way more so, I would argue!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Hiddleston can make anything look attractive, whether it be a custom tank top that says "I ♥️ T. S." or gold horns and a green cape lifted from the pages of Marvel comics. He's got gorgeous blue eyes that may or may not have been referenced in the aforementioned initialism's lyrics, and a smile that li'trally goes from ear to ear. Plus, there's always been a slight BDSM edge to the Loki fandom. (I may or may not have been an appreciative lurker on Tumblr back in the day.) The show is not not leaning into that. Loki's flipping knives. He's rolling up his sleeves. He's arrogant. He's flirting with an animated clock, which is PG in theory, but not when he does it.

Photo credit: Giphy
Photo credit: Giphy

Owen Wilson is also too hot for Disney+ in Loki too, in my humble opinion. He plays a detective named Mobius M. Mobius. (Sure, the names on this show are wacky, but how many Lokis do you know?) He's gone full silver fox, complete with a mustache that's incredibly sexy in a Mad Men sort of way and only aided by the fact that his entire character seems to exist just to smile softly at Tom Hiddleston and say things like, “if looks could kill” and “you're just a pussycat.” I'm sorry, what? And when he's not beaming at Loki, he’s chatting up his boss Ravonna Renslayer (again with the names, I know) played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw, who’s also a babe!

While there may not be anything as blatant as a sex scene or even kissing on the show yet, it feels overtly sexual. And again, I'm not against that. But it's weird that it seems like only certain Disney+ shows are allowed to have that kind of breathing room.

Loki is literally not rated PG. The majority of the Disney+ originals from Star Wars and Marvel (The Mandalorian, WandaVision, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, and Loki) have all been rated TV-14. It makes no sense that the Marvel hotties are fine but Lizzie McGuire can't have premarital sex, or whatever was deemed "too mature." It's even more upsetting that Love, Victor was deemed inappropriate for Disney+. If the company cared so much about setting a good example for younger audiences, wouldn't they want to put such a positive representation of LGBTQ+ teenagers on their service?

I enjoy Tom Hiddleston's hotness more than anyone else, but seriously Disney, get your shit together. Super-heroes (and super-villains) aren't the only ones allowed to have sex appeal.

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