Oh No—Do Any of These Behaviors Sound Familiar? 5 Things That Can Hurt Your Dog's Feelings, According to Pet Experts
Are you a dog owner? If you are the proud parent of a pup (or a few), we can imagine that you love your pet and wouldn't ever want to do anything to hurt their feelings. Everybody raises their pups differently due to many factors including lifestyle, location, personal knowledge of raising a dog and more. That being said, you may be unintentionally doing things that hurt your dog's feelings—negatively affecting your relationship with them.
Dogs experience feelings, just like you and me; happiness, anxiety, fear and frustration. Of course, we can't control some of the factors that may upset our dogs—such as bad weather, loud fireworks or the mailman strolling by. But, similar to life, we can control one thing when raising our dogs: how we act. How are you behaving around your dog, and what are you doing that may hurt your dog's feelings?
With insight from Hunter Saavedra, owner and founder of Hunter's Pet Sitting Orlando, and Dr. Lindsay Butzer, DVM, we'll help you unveil some ways you may be unintentionally hurting your dog's feelings—plus, how to turn it around.
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Do Dogs Get Their Feelings Hurt?
In short, yes, dogs can get their feelings hurt. You are your dog's whole world. They love you and want to earn your praise. However, when you engage in any of the above neglectful or shame-ridden behaviors with your dog, it has a negative impact on them. The love and praise they once felt may turn to fear, stress and even depression.
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5 Things That Can Hurt Your Dog's Feelings
1. Ignoring Them
Question: how do you feel when you're being given the cold shoulder by a loved one? Probably not so good. Your dog feels the same way, and being ignored hurts their feelings. “The most common form of emotional maltreatment is emotional neglect, which is the unintentional failure to meet an animal's emotional needs,” according to Franklin D. McMillan, the director of well-being studies at the Best Friends Animal Society.
Keep in mind that just like humans, dogs are social beings that need love, care and affection. If you're always leaving your dog alone, failing to spend quality time with them or pushing them away, there's a good chance you're hurting your dog's feelings. Even if you're busy and constantly on the go, there are steps you can take to ensure your dog is still living their best life.
"Investing in a weekday dog walker to spend time with your pup while you tend to your busy workday is one of the best ways to ensure they live a happy, fulfilled life! Dog walkers can provide a great energy release for your dog or, if they’re a more relaxed breed, they can provide socialization to help break up your pet’s day. Plus, you won’t have to rush home after work and you’ll come home to a happier pup overall," Saavedra explains.
"Filling enrichment toys with small treats or dog-safe peanut butter is also a great way to keep your dog from feeling neglected during your busy schedule," Saavedra adds. "Enrichment toys provide energy release and mental stimulation for your pup, keeping them busy during your long workday and spoiling them with some treats!"
Dr. Butzer agrees. "I recommend using treats and toys to help make sure your dogs have a form of enrichment if you have a busy schedule. You can offer them rawhides or no-hide bones to keep them busy while you are gone. I also always recommend exercising your dog for 10-30 minutes in the morning before your busy schedule begins to keep your pets calm and happy."
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2. Punishing Fearful Behavior
Fireworks, thunderstorms, vacuum cleaners...this just begins to scratch the surface of things that your dog may feel afraid of. Likewise, some dogs have very high anxiety or lack confidence, which can make them more fearful and timid.
Saavedra tells Parade that dogs are known to match their owner’s energy. "A great way to help your dog if they are fearful is to provide a calm, safe environment for them. Take loud deep breaths to calm your breathing and create a sense of relaxation. You can sit down on the floor with your dog while petting them, speak softly and most of all, be patient!"
Punishing your dog because you don't like their fearful behavior is not going to scare them out of it. It will likely make matters worse and hurt your dog's feelings. Punishing fear-based behaviors can also increase the risk of aggression, with other long-lasting consequences. Instead, try to level with them and treat them with more compassion to provide calm in the chaos.
Dr. Butzer says that if your pet is very fearful, you may want to speak to your veterinarian for sedatives or anxiety medications that will help calm them down and condition them to get more comfortable in stressful situations. "I like to reach for Gabapentin first, which is a seizure medication that simply helps calm the brain down and therefore calm the dog down. Then I like to use trazadone. If a dog is fearful to the point of aggression, then most veterinarians are very careful about giving sedatives. Other ways are simply doing A LOT of training and socialization and desensitization with the pet."
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3. Inconsistency
Parents always joke about there being a "good cop" and a "bad cop" parent. The good cop parent lets their children get away with almost anything. The bad cop parent lays down the ground rules and closely abides by them. Are you a good cop or bad cop parent to your dog? Think about it.
"Dogs are constantly looking to their owners for guidance," Saavedra explains. "Consistency with routines can lead to dogs feeling more enriched, decrease undesirable behavior and improve their physical and mental health. One of the best additions to your pet’s routine is incorporating a daily walk."
"Most dogs love going on a daily walk because it provides a structured outlet for their energy release," continues Saavedra. "Take a husky for example—Huskies are an energetic, intelligent breed known for causing destruction to the home when not given the proper energy release. By incorporating at least one walk a day, they may learn to look forward to an evening walk and be less inclined to destroy your carpets and baseboards!"
You may not believe it, but being the "bad cop" and remaining consistent with rules is the best thing you could do for your dog. For example, if you decide that you don't want your dog on the couch, it's important to stick by that. Don't let your dog hop on the couch when you want them to be, and punish them when you don't—this can be quite confusing for them and hurt your dog's feelings. The same goes for having a consistent daily feeding time, as well as other behaviors, like jumping or begging.
As far as building training guidelines with your best bud, stick to short and repetitive commands. "Giving a short command, such as 'sit,' 'gentle,' or 'leave it' will help instill good behaviors in your dog because shorter commands are more easily comprehended and associated with your preferred action," Saavedra tells Parade. "It’s important to be consistent with your commands so that your dog knows what to expect. A consistent routine paired with basic training equals a happy pup AND a happy owner!"
4. Using the Crate as Punishment
Never use your dog's crate as a method of punishment. When you start using the crate as punishment, your dog begins to view going into the crate as a negative thing. Then, every time you put them in the crate—despite the reason—their feelings get hurt. Imagine that you're just heading out for an evening out, and Fido gets visibly upset because you're putting him in the crate and he thinks he's done something wrong.
According to Stephanie Gibeault, MSC, CPDT, a certified professional dog trainer with a Master of Science in animal behavior, it's important to create as many positive associations with the crate as possible. Think about making the crate comfortable for them by adding toys, treats and bedding to it. You can even play games, like fetch, where you throw the ball into the crate or serve their meals in the crate.
5. Rubbing Their Nose in It
This one really applies to any pet parent that is currently potty training a dog. If your dog has a potty accident in the house, do not rub their nose in the accident, so to speak, as a form of scolding or punishment. Your dog is learning, and this type of scolding will teach your dog to fear you rather than trust you. It will also communicate to your dog that they should hide rather than make it known when they have to go, and the accidents will continue.
Think about it: how would you feel if somebody got mad at you because you had an accident after holding it for several hours? You'd probably feel pretty upset too. Rubbing your dog's nose in any type of accident will hurt their feelings.
How To Keep Your Dog Happy
The good news is that there are plenty of ways you can keep your dog happy and satisfied. Here are a few important things you can do to ensure you're being the best pet parent to your pup:
Provide them with enough playtime and exercise.
Learn about your dog breed's common behaviors and why they may act the way they do.
Even once they've learned the basics, never stop training them.
Provide them with engaging toys and puzzle games to keep them happy indoors too.
Don't forget to praise your pup for good behavior.
Be a disciplined pet parent by maintaining a consistent routine and rules system.
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