"I'm 40 And Still Goth": Former Outcasts And Loners Of Their Schools Are Revealing What Their Lives Are Like Now

It's wild to think how much I, a former loner kid, have changed from the eighth-grade version of me who rarely talked, to the present-day version of me who seldom shuts up. A lot can change after graduation, so curious me asked the BuzzFeed Community what happened to the "loners" and "outcasts" of their school. Here are a few of those responses, many of them from the loners themselves:

1."I went to law school and became a corporate attorney. But more importantly, I got into historical reenactment and met a bunch of other weird history nerds. I'm still an outcast and loner in the corporate world, but I have a wonderful found family of weirdos who love me."

TRT / Via giphy.com

—Anonymous, class of 1997

2."My parents were Mexican immigrants who picked produce for a living. This meant we moved with each season — oranges picked in Tulare County, grapes in Kern County, going constantly up and down the state of California. I was new to every school I attended. We would come back to certain schools, but people were cliquey and I was always a temporary student. So I was the loner. I got so used to being alone that I didn't mind it anymore. Now I am a successful clerk at a bakery. I am known to all our vendors as the best donut lady. I love what I do. I only work part time and go on mini adventures on my days off. I have successfully managed to live a balanced life. I was married, then decided that it wasn't for me. I am not interested in having kids. To this day, I'm quirky and weird to some people, and confident and happy to others. I hope to retire in 25 years or so and continue having mini adventures."

3."I’m in grad school now, so I guess I’m doing okay. Turns out that all that time avoiding people by hiding in the library paid off. I’m also trying to become an advocate for other people on the autism spectrum."

—hailcthulhu

4."I was quiet, shy, misunderstood, not considered manly or attractive. My classmates viciously bullied me, including making fun of my skin, my tattered shoes, and the way I spoke. I was afraid of speaking, out of fear that people would think I’m gay because I was soft-spoken. When I left middle school, I was eager to reinvent myself in high school. Sadly, the same rumors started up there, too. I withdrew again. Now I’m grown up, a father of two, and a professional fashion model. I never thought I’d see myself in magazines, be signed to multiple agencies, and walk fashion shows. I thank God every day for helping that boy who only wanted to be accepted become someone he’s proud of. Most of those kids who bullied me turned out to be washed out, and whenever I see them in person, they can’t look me in the eyes. They know they’re on my blacklist. Karma’s a bitch."

5."Our loner was an outcast. I hadn’t heard about them, so I was shocked when I recognized them on the UK makeup talent show Glow Up. They did really well and are apparently a highly paid makeup artist now. Kind of funny what you can end up doing when you spend your whole teenage life being mocked for liking art."

—emilyw47d8096f9

6."I was the outcast. I did my best to become friends with a lot of people, but I would always be left out at the end of the day. I was likable, but not that likable. I feel like that followed me into adulthood as well. I’m over 30 now, and I finally realized that I didn’t always need friends. I’m married, I have my family, I’m fairly successful, and I’m truly happy. When I was a child, it felt like I had to have friends and be popular — otherwise, my life would be ruined. Now I know it’s okay to have a small group and be happy in my own company. These days, I’m still friendly, though I’m so much happier with my small group of friends — there's never any drama."

—RoraCat

7."I was the only goth in a very small town. I was brutally bullied, especially after the Columbine shooting. Now I am a social worker at a nonprofit in that same town. I often help the same people who treated me awfully in high school. I am so proud that I never let their cruelty change me. I am still kind, still goth, and I am 40 now!"

8."My younger brother had this friend growing up who was always a quiet, nice kid. His shyness kept him from enjoying social events with his peers. My brother was in the same classes he was in and would often attempt to invite him along to things. The other boys in their class would ignore him and pressure my brother into not inviting the guy in the first place. This went on for years. In their senior year of high school, that kid was absolutely crushing it on the defensive line of the football team. He was so good that he got a full ride to one of the best football schools in the country. It's been several years since they graduated in 2016, and he is now playing professional football in the NFL! He and my brother have kept in touch and see each other often, as they both live in Seattle. Most recently, he treated my brother and his girlfriend to a very expensive dinner, and then gifted them with tickets to the next home game."

9."I was an outcast. And you know what? It was great! I'm now married to a wonderful man, we have three adorable cats, and I'm living my best life. Being an outcast taught me to be comfortable in my own skin and not to worry about what others think of me. I got to be myself, and I still am. I walk to the beat of my own drum, and to be honest, that's stellar!"

—bluebooky13

10."I was bullied a lot and was the loner kid. I became a 'popular' girl at university, had a lot of fun, made a lot of friends, moved to another country that people dream of, and now...I am back to being a loner. By choice. I wouldn't have it any other way!"

—ZoeZhulin

11."I moved to a small rural school between seventh and eighth grades. My best friends died in a tragic accident before I started at the new school, so I was not in the best spirits. My 'strange' clothes, meaning not Wrangler jeans and a sports T-shirt, and my inability to control outbursts of crying made me a target. My classmates started calling me 'Peter.' It's not my name, but it was the name of someone a few years older who everyone made fun of for being perceived as gay. I was the new Peter. I was picked on pretty regularly for years before I stopped trying to fit in. Now I am a public defense attorney. Lots of life experiences led to this position, and one of them is the bullying I received in high school and even into college. The few times I sought help from authority figures, they told me that's just the way it is and some things are better left not reported. Now I have a great family and a job that is an outlet for what I experienced."

12."Our 'loner kid' got accepted into MIT, discovered a comet her sophomore year, and earned her PhD in astronomy at Harvard. She is now a senior astrophysicist at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center, where she serves as senior project scientist on the Hubble Space Telescope. A true genius."

—Blackcoffeeinbed

13.'Loner kid right here. Started college but dropped out due to COVID, and I'm now working all the time. I still struggle with being social, even though my job needs me to be 'extroverted.' I moved across the country for a new start. I still suck at making friends and being social. My friends are my dogs and chickens.'

—madelynf487f41e0c

14."I struggled a lot with bullying and being an outcast during elementary and junior high school. Eventually I stood up for myself and started appreciating my time alone. Today I'm a senior audio engineer at the recording studio I work at, and soon to become an audio mixer at a legendary sound company that does the sound for major blockbusters. I'm still a loner by choice, though I can socialize better now — I embraced all my quirks and weirdness, and act by them. At some point, I realized those were the things that made me be me. The people who surround me love and accept me, and I don't have to pretend that I'm something I am not. I don't want to fit in anymore, as I know the people who care about me do so because of the way that I am."

15."There was this one kid who just didn't fit in with any group. He was a bit of a nerd, but not enough to be accepted by other nerds, apparently. He wound up being the only kid from our class to join the Army. He became an Army Ranger, then a drill sergeant, and then left to have a successful career building homes — a total 180 degrees from his personality in school."

—Anonymous, class of 1978

16."Her Facebook posts get blocked for spreading false information about COVID and the elections."

Comedy Central / Via giphy.com

—Mr. Cheetos

17."I was a loner. I struggled to connect with people and understand social norms. I participated in cross-country and track, and that's what helped me get through high school. I didn't feel as if I belonged at home, either. I went to college and things got better, but I still found struggles in newer and bigger ways. I graduated, then worked and everything, but something felt off. Once I started taking care of myself and branching away from my family, I realized I struggled with depression and ADHD. I got on meds, and I am doing much better. I finally found what I want to do in my life. Right now, I'm working out my finances to go back to school to become a travel nurse. I currently work as a nursing assistant, and I make more money than I've ever made before. Money isn't everything, but it feels good to finally feel that I'm moving forward after being held back by my mental health and family."

—Madds2016

18."I wouldn't call her a loner, but the shiest girl in my class became an ESL teacher for a few years after graduating from college. She moved to Thailand for a while and then moved back to the States. She posts on Facebook all the interesting places she gets to travel to on vacation. She really came out of her shell, and I'm really happy for her."

19."I was the outcast. I left for university halfway across the country and never looked back. Now I write nonfiction for a living. I have a house, a long-term relationship, and a dog. Things are generally pretty good, except for the part where I'm still in therapy to repair the damage that was done by all the bullying."

—Anonymous, class of 2006

20."They posted on Facebook that they were in debt because of a porn addiction. I think they used the opportunity to apologize to their girlfriend. And honestly, they could have just done that in private."

—Anonymous, class of 2010

21."I was the loner to a degree. I had friends, but I often kept to myself because they complained that I was too depressed, or I needed to be alone. I was really struggling with my mental health. I studied social work in college. I didn't really make many friends, I kept to myself a lot, and I graduated on time with decent grades. After working in retail for a couple of years after that, I continued on to university to study history. Toward the end of undergrad, I came out as trans and relied on the university's Pride Center for support. I did begin to have an active social life with my new queer circle, but I eventually found myself falling into old habits. Not many people have the energy to keep up a friendship with someone who constantly withdraws from them. I now work as a youth worker. I'm still a loner when you consider in-person friendships, but I have a lot of thriving online friendships and am almost always socializing on the internet!"

22."I got picked on for being the weird kid who used really big words. People in my middle school and high school knew me, but I was left out of a lot of things. By the time I got to college, I just wanted to be left alone. I’ve made huge strides in my career since then. I'm heavily into disaster relief and emergency management. I do still struggle with really serious social anxiety."

—elinumber2

23."I still think about 'Scary Carrie.' She was aggressive at times, and just...a lot. She struggled with mental health, but kids didn’t understand that as much then. They didn't bully her as much in high school, but she didn’t have friends. In spite of her bowl cut and the weird things she would say, she did have boyfriends she would frequently make out with in the hall. After high school, I didn’t hear anything about her until I ran into her at the bookstore I worked at in college. She recognized me and happily told me she was seven months pregnant with twins. She was bald and did not look well cared for. Her relationship with the guy didn’t work out, and she is reportedly estranged from her family. I wish people had been nicer to her. I was polite, but I didn’t go out of my way — I wish I had now, of course."

24."She later came out as a trans woman. She moved out of state, divorced her wife, and, based on her social media activity, is truly happy."

—Anonymous, class of 2008, South Dakota

25."I went to a private wealthy school growing up and was only able to go there because my mom worked there and got a discount. I did not fit in with anyone. I dressed differently, was unintentionally super awkward, and became an outcast. I dreaded going to school, and it was the biggest relief to graduate and finally be able to explore the world. It took me a while to figure out what to do, but now I am happily a school counselor who advocates for all students, including the unique souls who refuse to fit in."

If you were also a "loner" or "outcast" at your school, what does your life look like now? And if you're friends with this person or can find them easily on social media, what happened to them after graduation? Share your stories in the comments.

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.