Newlywed Takes $50K from Parents for Wedding but Elopes Instead, Making Them 'Furious'

The newlywed — who ended up using the money for a house down payment — explained the dilemma in a post on Reddit

A newlywed said their parents are "furious" after writing a big check to cover the wedding — only for the couple to elope instead.

The newlywed detailed the sticky situation in a recent post on Reddit's popular "Am I the A------?" thread, first providing some background context on their parents' philosophy on gift giving.

"My parents gave each of my brothers $50,000 when they graduated from university as a down payment on their home. When I graduated they did not do the same for me," the poster wrote. "I asked about it and they said my husband should provide. I wasn't married. I still lived at home."

Three years later, the OP (original poster) met their now-husband and, after dating for a year, the pair got engaged. "My parents were overjoyed. When we set a date, they gave me a check for $50,000 to pay for the wedding," the poster continued.

Related: Dad Refuses to Shell Out $200K for His Daughter’s Wedding and Now They Aren’t Speaking

But instead of being pleased by their parents' generosity, the poster said they were taken aback, presumably because the parents had specifically earmarked the money for the wedding.

Ultimately, the OP said they decided to ignore their parents' wishes. "I took the check and we eloped," they wrote.

That decision, however, did not go down well with the newlywed's parents.

"My parents are furious that they didn't get a big wedding for all their friends and family to attend," they wrote in the Reddit post. "They said that they gave me the money for a wedding. My argument is that I got married and had leftover money. Accurate in my books."

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After sharing that their brothers are siding with the parents, the poster asked fellow Redditors to weigh in on the situation. Many people were quick to assure the OP that they were not in the wrong, with one calling out the parents for having "a double standard."

"They didn't expect your brothers to use that money for a big wedding, but you have to. They wouldn't have helped you get a home unless it was through marriage, but your brothers didn't have that condition and just got the money," the commenter wrote. "And they expected you to have a huge wedding so that they could have fun."

Related: Woman Agrees to Be a Bridesmaid for Best Friend — Then Finds Out It's $8K Per-Person Destination Wedding

The commenter also pointed out that the newlywed make a financially "responsible" decision by forgoing a costly wedding and instead making an investment in a home. "Saving up the money is the responsible thing to do, and they're being bad parents if they'd rather you spent it all in a huge wedding you don't even want," they said.

Another person noted: "Gifts don't come with strings attached. Methods of control come with strings attached. Good for you on cutting the strings. They give you $50k for your wedding. You used the money for the wedding. They didn't specify how much you had to spend 🤷‍♀️."

Yet another commenter replied on the post, "You met their sexism with tricksterism. Well done. Of course they should give the same to your new home as they gave to your brothers."

One person praised the OP's decision to elope, saying they wished their own child had gone that route. "I encouraged my daughter to elope & take the $$$$$. Sadly, I payed for a beautiful wedding," they wrote.

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