How Much Should You REALLY Be Spending on a Wedding Gift?
When it comes to monumental moments in a person’s life, weddings might just take the cake. Whether it’s your own, a family member’s or a best friend’s, the memories of the event are a gift that we carry with us throughout our lives. This brings us to this age-old, yet sensitive, question: How much should you spend on a wedding present?
To answer this and many more questions about wedding gifting, we went to the Co-President of the Emily Post Institute Lizzie Post and wedding registry expert Ann Pavilack, the owner of The Globe, a fine gift and home shop in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
How much should you spend on a wedding gift?
In a world where we want a tangible answer for everything, Post reveals that “there really is no range” when it comes to how much to spend on a wedding gift. “So much matters: the person, the relationship and the financial situation they’re in. It’s so personal to you and that relationship,” Post adds.
At the end of the day, how much you spend is entirely up to you. Your gift is a reflection of you and your connection to the couple, and you have to be the one to put the price point on it. Post continues and says that keeping your own budget in mind is essential, but maybe the most valuable thing you can give is your time and really consider what the pair might want from you.
“This may sound silly, but when you enter the gift-buying process, do it when you are not stressed or rushed,” explains Pavilack. “Think of the special connections and memories you have with the bride or groom. When you’re in the right frame of mind, you’ll make a better decision.”
Taking a moment to prioritize the couple and searching for what speaks to your relationship typically makes for the most meaningful gift, but time is a crucial element. For those of us who might have multiple weddings to attend or are simply short on time, going to the couples' registry or contributing to a honeymoon fund is never a bad idea.
Should you contribute to a couples' honeymoon fund?
"[Funds set up by the couple] are totally okay to engage in," shares Post. If you're the bride or groom, it's a good idea to "let people know what the money is going to be used for," Post says. "Sometimes, especially when it comes to the honeymoon, the more detailed the better."
Paying for experiences like plane tickets, an elegant dinner or even a spa day connected to the honeymoon are great options to consider if the couple has set up a fund, according to Post.
Should you always buy something from the couples' wedding registry?
When thinking of wedding gifts, our mind often goes to wedding registries. Now, it’s easier than ever to find something that the couple would want by just browsing their registry on their wedding website, but wedding registries are a relatively new addition to the traditional customs of a wedding.
The first wedding registry was created in the 1920s by Marshall Fields, a Chicago-based department store, but the idea didn’t really catch on until the mid-twentieth century. Before registries, an Emily Post article explains that couples had the monotonous task of returning the gifts they didn’t want or had duplicates of, which makes the idea of an online registry a godsend.
How should you wrap a wedding gift?
After you’ve gone through the process of reviewing the registry and deciding what you most want to give to the couple, you now should think through the gift's presentation.
“I feel that the final presentation is an important part of gift buying and giving,” Pavilack reveals. “It often takes the choice from nice to 'wow' or nice to luxury. Our belief is whether it is a $60 frame or a $500 purchase of fine china, it deserves equal presentation.”
Including a note congratulating the couple on their wedding with your name and what you gave them is an important factor that the duo will thank you for when it comes time to write their thank-you notes.
Do you always have to give a wedding gift?
"With all weddings comes the obligation of a gift," Post shares. For destination weddings where you might have to spend a little more in travel, giving something—even if it's not as much as what you would've given for a domestic nuptial—is still important. There is no circumstance in which your presence is the present when it comes to a wedding.
If you've been invited to multiple events for the wedding, like a bridal shower or an engagement party, you should be sending a gift as well—especially if you are attending the events in person.
However, at the end of the day, it's not about what you spend. The most important part is that you give from your heart and choose something you feel good about giving to the couple.
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