How moving into your 'acceptance zone' can transform what gets accomplished
We’ve probably at one time or another all heard that it’s good to put yourself in uncomfortable situations. It allows us to stretch and grow as humans.
It all sounds good in theory, but much tougher in practice.
When I first started speaking professionally, there was the normal apprehension. However, I’ve always felt comfortable speaking in public. I’d had a history of being active in Toastmasters and those lessons and experience were invaluable.
But then, I began something that took me into the discomfort space.
After starting my consulting practice in 2005, one of the areas I needed to re-sharpen was my formal speaking skills. This would be a major component in my marketing and content creation. With that in mind, it was back into Toastmasters.
Toastmasters hold competitions for a variety of speaking formats, including the annual World Championship of Public Speaking. As a competitive type of fellow, I entered for my local club. I was fortunate to not only win at the club level but advance through three other levels to advance to the semi-finals for World Championship round. I was one win away from reaching my goal!
The next round was being held in Rancho Cordova, California, bringing in speakers from many of the Western states. One of the rules is that I couldn’t use my tried-and-true speech that won four contests to get there. In a short time span, I had to quickly craft a new one and be prepared to give the best speech of my life.
One completed, I took my speaking coach’s advice and went “on tour.” I began testing out my speech among other Rotary clubs, including one very fun trip into the women’s penitentiary at Purdy, where they have a very vibrant club!
Here was the place where I entered the “discomfort zone.”
I’ve always been a bit of a “loner” when it comes to crafting my speeches. While I value feedback from my coaches and closest confidantes, it was very uncomfortable to open myself up to critique from other people. These could be well-intentioned people I both didn’t know and those I did know (which was harder). I found it hard and uncomfortable to fight back the urge to “defend” of the speech. It wasn’t difficult to accept the result of the speech in competition, but it was painstaking to accept advice on it.
I had to force myself into the “acceptance zone.”
The acceptance zone is that place where one fully accepts that they’ve prepared and done their best, and willing to accept whatever happens next. It’s a crucial mindset in my golf game, and I needed to use it here. My discomfort of questioning had to move to accepting critique and advice, and then choosing what was usable without feeling judged.
Ultimately, I gave my speech at the regional event and disqualified myself by speaking four seconds over time. That’s a story and lesson for another column!
My takeaway was that by opening myself up to criticism during the speechwriting phase of my process made me a better speechwriter moving forward. If you’re like me, being vulnerable can be uncomfortable and often filled with anxiety. This experience forced me to accept being questioned and become a better listener and communicator.
We all have areas in our business and personal lives where entering the acceptance zone will benefit us.
Sales: Many of us deliver sales presentations. Once that sales presentation is made, we lose control. Often, sales professionals will fret over the outcome. What could I have done better? Did I look professional on Zoom (where many sales presentations are now made)? Was my message strong? Did I engage with everyone at the table?
If that’s you, then you’re invited into the acceptance zone.
If you’ve prepared properly, did your homework, practiced, and did the best you could on that day, then accept whatever happens next. If the deal was accepted, congratulations. If not, learn why? It might have had nothing to do with your presentation. But like me accepting critique for my speech, it’s time to learn and it’s a fair question to ask.
Of note, job interviews are the same. The preparation process in “selling yourself,” is no different.
Goals: We are now a little more than one-third into 2024. Most of us had business and personal goals, objectives, and resolutions, right? How are those going?
Whether it’s a quantitative goal of increasing sales or losing weight; or a qualitative goal like enhancing company culture or increasing discretionary time, now is a good time to check our work.
It’s rare that we are on track for all our goals. Life’s uncontrollable events often get in the way. That’s where the acceptance zone comes in.
If we prepared, communicated, collaborated, and implemented, then we must accept whatever happens next. Like my golf ball that’s once been hit, I lose control of what happens once it’s in the air. Even the best hit golf shots can experience bad luck.
In the same way, the best laid and implemented plans can fall short. If we are in the acceptance zone, we celebrate the wins and learn from the losses.
Identity: Here’s a bit of a curveball for you. What about your identity?
We all are susceptible to doubting ourselves and how we perceive others think about us. Even the most confident people can fall victim to Imposter Syndrome.
Here’s where the acceptance zone comes into play. The first step is to acknowledge your concerns. It’s virtually impossible to eradicate them from your mind. Accept that you feel this way, avoid negative self-talk, and move on.
Then accept who you are and where your feet are today. We’ve all landed where we are through a multitude of uncertainty and events both small and large. We are more than what we do for a career. Ultimately, the acceptance zone is most important in our own identity because it will lead the way into accepting everything else that comes in front of us.
Acceptance isn’t acquiescence or capitulation. It’s a bold proclamation that you’re able to accomplish when you enter the “acceptance zone.”
Dan Weedin is a strategist, speaker, author and executive coach and regular contributor to the Kitsap Sun. He helps small business and middle market business leaders and entrepreneurs to grow more profitably and create a better life. He was inducted into the Million Dollar Consultant™ Hall of Fame in 2012. You can reach Dan at 360-271-1592; e-mail at dan@danweedin.com or visit his web site at www.DanWeedin.com.
This article originally appeared on Kitsap Sun: How your 'acceptance zone' can transform what gets accomplished
