"I Don't Want To Be Touched Anymore," And 21 More Extremely Honest Mom Confessions
Look, we all know that becoming a parent is a huge change, and it's probably more of a rarity for something in your life to stay the same after having kids instead of changing.
Reddit user u/leafy_plant8 recently asked, "Mothers of Reddit, what is one thing in your life that was never the same after you became a mother?" Here are a few responses besides, you know, everything:
1."How much more it felt like I should be aware of myself, my personal safety, and how much more I had to lose if anything were to happen to my son. You come out of that hospital and are blindsided by the reality that you are so small, human, and finite. I realized that one day he would be here without me, which made me very sad. But it also awakened a sense of duty to train him to be as well off as he can be once I’m gone. I take care of myself much better now, don’t take quite as many risks, and tell him every single day how much I love him and am proud he is my son."
2."My relationship with my own mother. Something switched on in me that I realized was not switched on in her."
3."Emotional responses to events involving children. For example, I watched a movie and the twist ending was that a child was left with someone the viewer knew was unsafe and my immediate thought was the safety of the child. In the past, I would have been concerned for everyone involved (that came a second later), but initially, my focus was on the child and their safety."
4."I can't sneeze without pissing myself."
5."For us, we went from having sex two or three times a week to maybe once a week. Exhaustion weighs heavy when you don't have a baby sleep through the night. We've learned to experiment with other types of intimacy, but it's different. It is getting better with our daughter entering toddlerhood and being a better sleeper."
6."One thing that’s really bothering me is how talking with other women has changed. A LOT of women will talk about nothing than kids when they find out I’m a mom. It’s really sad and boring."
7."I went from being a heavy sleeper that could sleep through anything to a light sleeper. It has its benefits, so I'm okay with it."
8."My sleep depression. I can remember countless days when I would wake up, but just stay in bed. There was nothing to wake up for. No reason to 'have' to get out of bed. Now that I am a mom, I don't mind the routine of him being up around the same time every morning like clockwork. It has put me in gear. Since I don't have the ability to sleep in, I don't have that depression. My kid has been my motivation for life. I'm grateful for him. That one thing will never be the same, thank goodness."
9."Honestly everything: my body, my friendships, my marriage, my lack of freedom. Motherhood changes a lot. It’s important to have a village. Not only for your child, but a mom needs a village, too."
10."My mental health changed after I had my first child. I didn’t understand why or how my brain wasn’t functioning properly. Eventually got hospitalized for postpartum depression and postpartum OCD. I’m so thankful I didn’t get worse than I was because those intrusive thoughts are a scary thing to deal with. I’m so thankful for modern medicine because if I wouldn’t have gotten help, I don’t think I would be here today. Please please please ALWAYS listen if a new mother is crying out for help. Don’t brush it off…it could be a matter of life or death."
11."My ability to just focus on me and think about what I’d like to do."
12."I used to spend a decent amount of time wishing I could change things about my past, from tiny things to big decisions I wished I could undo. Since I had my daughter, I don’t do that anymore. I think about how even the tiniest thing could have meant I didn’t end up having her exactly as she is and it’s helped me make peace with a lot."
13."My personal space. I am touched...constantly. I love this little munch so freaking much, but oh my gosh... I don't want to be touched anymore. Their love language is touch, 100%."
14."Horror films. I used to be able to watch anything, even if it was pretty bad. It still affected me but I was very aware it was just a film. Now I can't watch anything where anything bad happens to children or babies. Absolutely breaks me with 'What if's...' and I can't get the images out of my head."
15."One of the scariest is my memory. It’s drastically changed for the worst and I find big dark time periods of my life that I cannot recall."
16."It made me way braver, more assertive, and stronger. I used to be a people pleaser that kept my mouth shut all the time and let people walk all over me. Now, I give no shits about telling people what's what. I got that mama bear energy."
17."I now get motion/seasick, and I never used to. I also had an intense fear of flying and needles but those are gone now too. (For the needles, I think I just got desensitized by being poked and prodded countless times during my pregnancy)."
18."My hairline, one of those magical lesser know facts about having kids: the hair on your head will fall out but those sneaky hormones will have it pop up elsewhere. I now have to keep a very close eye on my chin."
19."For me, the hardest is that once you have a child you will never NOT be identified as a mother. It doesn't matter if you still pursue the same things, have a career, etc. you will be a mom to everyone. People ask you about your kid before they ask you about yourself. It's like becoming a side character in your own storyline. Being a mother is literally the least interesting thing about me, and yet it feels like it takes up 99% of my identity, especially according to other people. Your life will always center around your child while they are young and at home. Reclaiming your identity as it was is impossible."
"It's maddening to me that my child's father experienced no change in his career or hobbies or how other people viewed him. No one referred to him as 'dad.' People didn't stop asking him about himself, his interests, passions, etc. He still enjoyed a lot of freedom to do as he pleases, and his conversations centered on him and his interests. He can rest and relax while not actively parenting. But it's like I stopped existing as a separate entity once my child was born."
