Sour Candy Is Very Overrated, And 20 Other “Divisive" Food Opinions I Belive With My Entire Being
Hey everyone, I'm Hannah! I'm a certified snacker who loves sinking my teeth into all sorts of exciting bites! Maybe you've read about my budget-friendly food crawl around New York City, my favorite drunk snacks from college (that I made my parents try!), or my adventures sampling new menu releases for big national chains, like Popeyes and Panera.
Needless to say, I have a lot of strong opinions about food! Some of those opinions are perfectly mainstream and widely shared, but some, I've been told, are more "controversial." I decided to list some of my hot takes and provide context as to why my feelings are so strong. If you hate me by the end of this, I'm so sorry! Let's get into it:
1.Sweet potato fries are trash 99% of the time.
Okay, coming in HOT. Sweet potato fries are okay at best, and soggy, wet cardboard at worst. When I'm craving fries, I'm craving REAL potatoes. I want salt, I want grease, and I want crispiness, not this stale Thanksgiving BS. Have I had a sweet potato fry I didn't hate? Sure, I'm not a monster. Have I ever wanted a sweet potato fry instead of a regular fry? Absolutely not. I understand that they're better for you nutritionally than regular fries. I get it, I do. I'm not here to yuck your yum. I'm just here to give my humble opinion, which is that I wouldn't shed a single tear if sweet potato fries disappeared from all restaurant menus for the rest of time.
2.Cool Ranch Doritos are the worst Dorito flavor.
Uh oh, people with orangey-blue dust all over their fingers are about to come for me! Listen, I'm coming to you as a true fan of Doritos. It's not that I don't *like* cool ranch as a flavor; it's just that they really popped off with all their other flavors. First and foremost, I am a nacho cheese girl. They nailed it with that one. Also, spicy sweet chili?! Finger-licking good. Sweet & tangy BBQ and taco-flavored Doritos also deserve a lot more love. You get the picture. Cool ranch is a good flavor shelved among great flavors. It'll never be the first bag I grab.
3.Circus Peanuts are a delicious candy. I don't care what anyone says.
"Ew! It's like eating packing peanuts!" Okay, and? I'm thrilled to have found an edible form of packing peanuts to snack on. What a textural delight! It's like biting into that sweet, sweet, forbidden packing peanut fruit. Oh, you don't like artificial banana flavoring? What are you running from? I don't understand the hate. Fake banana flavoring absolutely bangs, and it's time we admit it.
4.And while we're on the subject of banana-flavored candy, banana Runts are the BEST Runts.
See above for all my banana-flavored feelings. It's a weird hill to die on, yet here I am. Why did we as a society ever become enamored by artificial cherry-flavored things? Banana was right there!! Banana has always been and will always be THAT girl.
5.Dipping french fries in mayo is awesome (I will dip my fries in anything, actually).
Ketchup? Yup. Mustard? Sure. Aioli? Please! BBQ sauce? Great! Mayo? For sure! Ranch? Totally! Etc., etc. If there's one thing I'm going to do, it's appreciate a good dipping sauce. Fries + mayo is a sacred combination that far too many people scoff at. "Oh, I hate mayo! It's nasty!" Tell someone who cares.
6.TUMS are tastier than most hard candies.
Genuine question: Why did they make them so delicious, though? Have you had a chewy TUMS? If I'm near a bottle, I need to be physically restrained. Heartburn and acid reflux really suck, but at least if I'm plagued by one or both afflictions, I get to treat myself to a couple heavenly TUMS. Candy manufacturers: TAKE NOTES! Perhaps you need to glance at the chewy TUMS recipe and get some inspiration.
7.Creamy foods like potato salad, chicken salad, macaroni salad, deviled eggs, etc. are HEAVEN-SENT.
Justice for creamy foods!! Potlucks and cafeterias really popped up with these mayonnaise-based delicacies. I kind of hate to put it in writing, but there's something special about a room-temperature deli case of mayonnaise-y salads that just gets the heart (and probably the bowels) pumping. Living in New York City is creamy, deli food heaven. Why yes, I would love an absolute HEAP of chicken salad on my everything bagel with a side of potato salad. Thank you
8.Runny eggs (fried, poached, over easy) are the best eggs.
I want to SWIM in the yolk. Do you understand me? Sopping. Wet. Runny yolk on crunchy toast or an English muffin...OMG, I have chills. If the egg isn't deviled, I need it runny. Scrambled eggs (with cheese) and quiche also get a free pass because they are tolerable, but all other solid forms of eggs can get to the back of the line. I don't want a semi-solid or chalky yolk clogging up my plate. Give me a yolk I can break and turn into an orange swimming pool.
9.Pickles are hands down one of the best foods ever invented.
Not to get emotional, but I really love pickles. Living near a restaurant where I can customize my own pickle flight is both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because, duh. It's a curse because I drag everyone there, even my pickle-adverse friends, and then I have to decide how many pickles I can actually handle eating by myself in one sitting. I'm not even picky or a purist when it comes to pickles. Some people love dills but hate sweet pickles. Some people think pickling any vegetable is gross. I love and accept all forms of pickles. What's not to love? They're crisp, they're juicy, they're tangy, they have different flavor profiles, they complement a lot of foods, etc.
And, revisiting the topic of creamy food: You can and should add chopped-up pickles or pickle relish to your creamy salads! Also, when I'm at a deli that has a barrel of those monster kosher dills, I'm double-fisting pickles. How does everyone feel about that visual? Have I made my feelings abundantly clear?
10.Shredded iceberg lettuce is confusingly delicious and adds so much to a sandwich.
Not to be weird on main, but I'm actually really into a bit of shredded iceberg. When a sandwich artist is layering up my sub and gets to the shredded iceberg, I'm like, "Yesss, don't be shy! Load me up!!!!" Guess what? Shredded iceberg is also really great when it's dumped on Americanized "Mexican" food. You know when you go to a suburban Mexican restaurant and they give you a taco and it's just ground beef, shredded cheese, and iceberg lettuce? Or when you order "loaded" nachos and get a plate of lukewarm Tostitos with meat, beans, cheese, sour cream, and what??? Iceberg, baby! You know it's not right, but it's also kind of good, in a bad way. There's just something about that iceberg. It has a time and a place, and when we're having an iceberg moment, we're having an iceberg moment.
11.Heath Bars are the best chocolate bars.
Heath bars are SLEPT ON!! Wake up and stop denying yourself true happiness! We as a society need to be doing more with toffee. Frankly, it should be everywhere all of the time. I'm also a big fan of the Swedish Daim bar because, you guessed it, it's basically a Heath bar. Why do I feel like Heath bars are a bit scarce these days? Don't tell me it's because they're bad because I won't believe you. They are the epitome of simple, sweet perfection. A candy bar doesn't need seven layers and a ton of bells and whistles to be good. Sometimes, all you need is a little chocolate and a little crunch. Heath bar supremacy.
12.Tea > Coffee
I guess I should protect myself from your wrath by first telling you that I have dealt with varying degrees of caffeine intolerance since I was a teenager. My distaste for coffee probably stems from trying it and feeling so god-awful on multiple occasions. I know decaf coffee exists, but it's kind of too late now. The aversion is there. But, as I've worked towards developing some semblance of tolerance to caffeine in my adulthood, I've really fallen in love with matcha and chai. I've adored chai tea lattes since high school (can we agree they've gotten way too sweet?), but chai and I still don't always see eye to eye. Most chai is caffeinated (yes, there is decaf chai, and yes, I've tried it!), and it's caffeinated to an extent that still often shocks my system. But, I have reached a place where I can handle it in small quantities if it doesn't become too habitual.
Matcha is my newest love because I've found its level of caffeine to be mostly tolerable on a good day, and it's perfect for a gal who loves something iced and something that pairs well with a pump of a fruity flavor. All that to say, I'm team tea. Tea is just so versatile and comes in limitless varieties. You can go from enjoying a light, minty tea to sipping a robust, spicy tea to enjoying a warm, fruity blend. I know coffee also has a billion varieties, but teas are just so dang unique from one another. I love the varie-TEA. Sorry!
13.I'd rather have a greasy, fast-food smash burger than some fancy, high-quality, bistro burger.
If I order a burger and you hand me an absolute tower that cannot be aptly bitten by the human mouth, I will be sad. Burgers that are too tall, too meaty, or too fancy have lost the plot. Sometimes, the best burger is actually the most mediocre burger. I really don't need a two-inch thick hamburger patty. A flat bit of juicy meat will do! Then give me cheese, pickles, lettuce, onions, MAYBE a tomato, and some sauces/condiments. Stop right there! That's it. Pure perfection! Keep it lo-fi and classic. A fancy, high-quality, excessively stacked burger just doesn't have the same appeal to me. When I think of my perfect burger, I think of 7th Street Burger, Shake Shack, Steak 'n Shake, etc. Sometimes, less is more.
14.Extra Toasty Cheez-Its are heinous. Regular Cheez-Its are divine.
People who reallyyyy like burnt things freak me out. A little char on some bread, a roasted vegetable, or a crispy bit of cheese is one thing, but actively seeking out a bitter, burnt taste baffles me! When I get an overdone Cheez-It mixed in with all my other delicious Cheez-Its, my tongue curls. It's like eating a piece of burnt, funky popcorn. I'm not charmed by the char!!! Why take a perfectly good Cheez-It and destroy its integrity? You can say my palate is unrefined; I don't care.
15.There's a time and a place for processed cheese.
As a lover of all cheese — fancy, stinky, hard, soft, hot, cold — even something as controversial as a Kraft single or a gloopy side of nacho cheese served with cold corn chips at a baseball game is worthy of love. Sometimes, cheap and questionable cheese just makes sense. A grilled cheese made with Kraft singles is god-tier. I love a bit of melted neon orange goop on a cheeseburger. I enjoy a bowl of white, watery "queso." Would I argue that heavily processed cheese is my favorite? Heck no! Would I say it still deserves a seat at the table? Yupppp.
16.All bottled salad dressings kind of suck.
There are approximately two bottled salad dressings that I actively like. I usually default to making my own dressing because I buy tasty and reliable olive oil and vinegar and have a stacked spice cabinet. Now and again, I feel wildly optimistic and buy some out-of-left-field salad dressing to see if the technology has improved. I'm usually left pretty disappointed. There's a small graveyard of mostly-full salad dressing bottles in my fridge that I feel bad throwing away but really only use in a pinch. Some are more tolerable than others, but I just don't get it. Can someone out there please give me suggestions? They can't all be this subpar. Help.
17.Sour candy is deeply overrated.
Before you sharpen your pitchforks, just hear me out. I do really like Sour Patch Kids and Sour Gummy Worms. I think they're tasty! But, do we really need sour versions of every candy that exists? Not all of it is good... Also, making candy SO sour that it's physically painful to consume is bizarre, right? I guess it's genius marketing to get people to buy and try your stuff, then brag if they can tolerate it, but it all feels like a waste to me! A little zest is fine and dandy, but this sour candy craze doesn't do it for me. I guess I'll stick to my banana candies and Heath bars like the weirdo I am.
18.I would choose cookies over cake any day of the week.
Again, please don't come for my head! I'm not saying cake is bad or I won't eat it. Cake is delicious, and if offered a slice, I'm going IN. But, for me, nothing can top a really delicious cookie. Did you know NYC has a lot of really delicious cookies? Yeah, it's a blessing and a curse. Temptation is always just a few blocks away! But seriously, there is something other-worldly about biting into a warm chocolate chip cookie. I like it when the cookie is a little soft, a little chewy, and wet with melted chocolate. There should be a little bit of a bite on the outside — the slightest hint of crispiness. Then, I want my teeth to sink into a moist and soft center immediately.
I'd argue that a plain old chocolate chip cookie is the best in the biz, but other cookie flavors are not far behind! Oatmeal raisin, double chocolate, peanut butter (a real star!), white chocolate macadamia nut, toffee (you know I love this), and even sugar cookies make my mouth water. A cookie is the perfect dessert; I'll always stand by this. Add a scoop of vanilla ice cream to the top, and I'll love you forever.
19.If you don't like broccoli or Brussels sprouts, it's just because you don't know how to prepare them. They're delicious.
I get why they make you gag if you've only ever been force-fed steamed or boiled broccoli or Brussels sprouts without any seasoning or accoutrements. But the truth is, these veggies are absolutely delicious and just need a little TLC to really shine! This isn't ground-breaking news, but I'm shocked to encounter so many adults who still refuse to touch either vegetable and say they're nasty. Everyone has different tastes, so maybe they just aren't for you. But I'd be willing to bet that many folks who say they hate these vegetables would actually love them if they tried them in a different form.
I remember the first time I tried a crispy Brussels sprout taco at a yuppie college restaurant. The Brussels sprouts were shredded, crisped up in oil, and seasoned to the gods. They were accompanied by a bit of parmesan cheese and finished with a drizzle of truffle aioli. Calling this a taco is a major stretch, but it helped me realize how amazing Brussels sprouts can be! And as far as broccoli goes, I already knew she was a total babe. In a world where butter, oil, salt, pepper, garlic, onions, bacon, cheese, balsamic, teriyaki, truffle oil, and other beautiful things exist, you cannot tell me there's no way to make broccoli or Brussels sprouts taste like a million bucks!
20.Tofu is amazing!
I can't believe I ever subscribed to the notion that tofu is bland, boring, or texturally unsettling. It's absolutely none of the above! It's all in the preparation, though. So, yes, crappy tofu exists. But overall, tofu rocks! If you prepare it in a tasty sauce, you get tasty tofu! Fried tofu is also so scrumptiousssss. Tofu is my default protein choice when I order lo mein, pad see ew, pad Thai, or other noodle dishes. I had to do a little growing up to fully enjoy and appreciate it, but I'm so glad I've finally made it here. Yum yum yum.
21.And, if you can eat breakfast for dinner, you can eat dinner for breakfast. Food doesn't need a specific time of the day to be acceptable. Eat what you want when you want.
I understand that society deemed certain foods "breakfast" foods because of their nutritional value and the energy they can offer a person as they start their day. But I'm just not sold by the whole concept. Maybe I don't want a sugary bowl of cereal at 9:00 a.m. Perhaps I want a slice of veggie pizza. We make breakfast sandwiches and pizzas now! We're moving in the right direction! I know that it's all about choice, and I have the power to make those decisions. I just find it interesting to observe what is marketed as breakfast and what is not. You don't think of fried chicken as a breakfast food until it's tucked between pieces of a biscuit or thrown on top of a waffle. Even then...well, you're picking up what I'm putting down. It's all a bit silly.
Well, there ya have it. Obviously, my opinions are not the word of god. Agree or disagree at your own leisure, but I'm firm in my beliefs! And now that I've told you my "controversial" food takes, I'm dying to hear yours! Please fill the comments with all your food-related opinions!
