Monica Lewinsky Opened Up About Being the First Person to Lose Her Reputation Online

"I went to bed one night a private person, and the next day I was known by the entire world."

Monia Lewinsky is looking back at the trauma of being scrutinized by the public during her affair with President Bill Clinton in the '90s. While it was long before the days of social media, she explained that there was no shortage of internet hatred toward her. In a new interview with author and tech journalist Taylor Lorenz published in The Guardian, Monica calls herself "patient zero of losing my reputation online."

"I went to bed one night a private person, and the next day I was known by the entire world," she recalled. "That couldn’t have happened without the internet.”

Although social media has become a catalyst for a lot of the modern world's negativity, tabloid news, and celebrity gossip, Lewinsky actually thinks it could have offered some support to her during a dark time.

"People often ask me whether I think it would have been different in '98 had social media been around, and of course, we can all imagine the negatives — the Twitter handles and hashtags. I saw enough memes and jokes, and still see them, thanks to the new algorithms on some social media sites!" she explained. "But it also would have provided support. On a very personal note, [in 1998] I could only get support from strangers in the most old-fashioned, analogue way: if they sent a letter. Sometimes, the highlight of my day would literally be going to get the mail, which is pretty pathetic."

When Lorenz questioned how Lewinsky survived the trolls and the media frenzy, Lewinsky said that sometimes, she can't even believe that she is still alive. "I have a friend who, every time I see her, at some point in our hangout, she’ll just sort of shake her head and go: 'I can’t believe you’re still here.' I feel very grateful for whatever combination of positive and negative traits I have that allowed me to survive."

The activist and writer has taken control of her narrative over the years by becoming an advocate for other women and taking a stand against bullying. She also produced Ryan Murphy's American Crime Story: Impeachment which starred Beanie Feldstein as Lewinsky. The show was based Jeffrey Toobin's book, A Vast Conspiracy: The Real Story of the Sex Scandal That Nearly Brought Down a President. Lewinsky says that younger generations have connected with her and the show, because they are able to better understand her perspective.

Related: Beanie Feldstein Says She and Sarah Paulson Can't Keep Their Cool Around One 'Impeachment' Costar

"It’s so interesting to hear you talk about Impeachment, because I don’t know if that would have even come about had your generation not helped me start a new chapter, in response to the Vanity Fair piece I wrote in 2014," she explained. "I think people who didn’t live through what we call in my family “the brainwashing”, from the media and the political sphere, were coming to a story with just the facts. When you come to it in black-and-white facts, it is insane to think – if I talk about myself in the third person – that the youngest person, by over 20 years, than every other main player in that story, is the one who who bore the biggest brunt, and had the most long-term consequences.

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