Mom's New Year's Resolution Is a Must for Anyone 'in the Weeds' of Parenthood
January 4, 2019
Eliza Morrill, co-founder of the blog Momstrosity, has her hands full: She is a mother of four little ones. And just like every other overwhelmed, exhausted parent out there, she feels a certain level of pressure every time a new year rolls around. That pressure to set lofty goals, resolve to make sweeping changes, and take a whole bunch of parts of her very full life to the next level. But in 2019, Morrill isn't having it. She took to the Momstrosity blog and Instagram to send a powerful message about New Year's resolutions.
"Here we are again, friends. The brink of a new year," Morrill wrote. "My newsfeed is full of positive manifestations for the next trip around the sun. Resolutions to run that half-marathon. Cook dinner more often. Hit the gym with regularity. Read."
Usually Morrill is down to hop on the self-improvement bandwagon alongside her friends. "Most years, I'm right there with them," she explained. "In my mind, I've conjured a list five miles long—of all the things I hope to accomplish in the next year. Versions of my best self. Habits to make me a better mother, a better wife, a better friend, and a better fit for these snug jeans."
RELATED: 10 Real-Mommy Resolutions
But this year, she says she'd prefer to be real about her bandwidth. "I'm laying it all down," Morrill shared. "I can't. The truth is, I'm in the weeds. I'm in the when-will-my-kids-sleep-again weeds. I'm in the lots-of-little-kids-with-lots-of-big-needs weeds. I am knee-deep in picky eaters, dirty diapers, temper tantrums, health issues, and repetitive dinners."
Therefore, Morrill is fine admitting that this is not her year "to run a marathon. This is not my year to drink two gallons of water a day, or to make healthy, home-cooked meal every night, serve on all of those committees. It is my year to survive. This is my year to sleep when I can. To give myself grace, always. To embrace the mess."
She acknowledged just how much pressure moms heap onto themselves whether they "realize it or not." "Small imperfections during the day equate to our shortcomings in our own mind," Morrill wrote. "Messy house? I should clean more. No clean socks? I'm way behind on laundry. Kid acts out in school? I let him watch Frozen too often. We need to stop. I need to stop."
Ultimately, her kids don't need "a mom who looks great in leggings right now. Or a mom who makes individualized quiches for all the kids in class. They need a mom who does her best to love them well—imperfections and all."
That's why she encourages others to give themselves a break—or, more specifically, "grace." "Some years aren't meant to be record-breaking," Morrill shared. "Some years are meant to survive."
Since she shared the post on New Year's Eve Day, many moms chimed in with supportive thoughts. "I love your words and know exactly where they are coming from!" one commenter on Instagram wrote. "This is NOT a marathon year - marathons are a much shorter duration with a clearly marked course! I think this period in our lives is more comparable to Naked & Afraid! So, happy New Year—here’s to increasing our survival rating!"
Another attested that 2018 felt like this for her—and everything turned out to be imperfectly perfect: "This was my 2018 (minus the kids, but laying it all down, giving myself grace, and reveling in the ordinary-ness of what many would see as mundane), AND IT WAS EVERYTHING my soul needed."
Morrill tells Parents.com that she's been "overwhelmed by the response that the post has received and so glad that it’s resonated with so many moms." "It’s easy to feel inadequate, especially when you are in the 'tough times' of motherhood, so my hope is that this post will remind other moms in similar positions to extend themselves grace," she says.
Cheers to that.
