The more we talk about the various ways parents welcome their children into the world—whether through conventional conception, IVF, surrogate, or adoption—the better. A new mom named Sadie Sampson took to Love What Matters to add to the conversation. She and her husband Jarvis are celebrating their recent interracial adoption that turned them into parents "overnight."
"Jarvis and I had been trying to conceive for quite some time," the Houston mom shared. "I had my IUD taken out in October 2017, and we had been actively trying since right after our wedding in January 2018. We had tried everything. Ovulation tests, prenatal vitamins, cycle tracking apps, fertility monitors. We even tried the unsolicited advice of friends, family, and strangers and didn’t try. For 14 months, we tried, prayed, and waited. Month after month. Negative pregnancy test after negative test. It seemed like we were going to need assistance to conceive. We even went as far as to talk to doctors about it."
Frustratingly, every doctor Sampson saw gave the same, rote, simplistic advice: "Lose weight, and you’ll get pregnant right away."
Sampson said she had "tried to lose weight on my own for so long without success," so she underwent gastric bypass surgery in February of this year. "I lost 28 pounds in the first month," she shared. "Despite my surgeon’s advice of waiting 18 months before conceiving, I wanted to get pregnant anyways. I went back to my OB-GYN, and she was so proud of me. She told me that if I wasn’t pregnant within six months then she would refer me to a fertility specialist, because she couldn’t prescribe me the fertility medication. I was over the moon about that. Finally, we got something other than a no! We got a ‘not right now,’ and we were thrilled."
Sampson wrote that all she "ever wanted was to be a mom." She explained, "I had always felt like I was born to be a mother. My surgeon had taken so much time to warn me about how fertile I would be after surgery, but I still wasn’t pregnant despite not preventing. So, we gave up. We realized that we were only destined to be an aunt and uncle to our nieces, and godparents to our goddaughters."
Soon thereafter, she got a text from her best friend, who asked, "If it ever came down to it, would you guys foster/adopt a child?" The costs associated with that process seemed to be "just as much, if not more, than IVF," Sampson countered. But her BFF had unexpected news: "A friend of mine, and her boyfriend are considering foster care or adoption for their son. I told them that I thought you guys would be a great fit."
The caseworker initially asked Sampson if she and her husband could foster the baby while the mom sought treatment. The couple agreed, but not long after, the story changed. "The birth mom decided she would like you guys to adopt the child instead," the caseworker said.
"‘Holy crap!!,’ I said aloud," Sampson recalled. "We went from not having any children, to the possibility of fostering one, to, ‘You guys are parents!,’ overnight. I listened to the case worker as she talked still in disbelief. I hung up and called my husband! 'Babe!! They want us to adopt the baby! They want us to be parents,' I screamed. ‘Wait! REALLY?! I thought they just wanted us to foster him!,’ he said. ‘Nope! They want us to be his mom and dad,' I said."
Sampson said she experienced a bevy of emotions following that moment, as well as racing thoughts about needing a car seat, crib, clothes.
Kelli Nicole Photography
"We spent the weekend trying to play it cool," she shared. "Trying not to get our hopes up just in case the birth parents changed their minds. I called an attorney just in case we needed one to see what the process was. She gave me all the info we needed, and then, we waited. Monday came and we hadn’t heard anything. Then, my phone rang. It was child protective services."
The CPS rep explained that the birth mother wanted to do an independent adoption and was ready to sign that day. The Sampsons would need their attorney to draw up paperwork ASAP.
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Several days later, the papers were in order and signed. "Jarvis and I got in our car and headed to the hospital to meet our son for the very first time," Sampson remembered. "We parked the car and walked into the hospital where we were greeted by security. 'I need your ID’s please. Where are you folks headed?' he asked. ‘We’re headed up to the NICU to see our son,’ Jarvis said proudly."
Kelli Nicole Photography
Their baby boy had been born at 33 weeks, seven weeks early. He was 4 lbs., 5 oz. "He literally fit in one of my husband’s hands," Sampson wrote.
The excited couple, who couldn't wait to hold their L.O., had to scrub in before entering the NICU room. "He was so tiny, swaddled in a white blanket, with pink and blue stripes," Sampson wrote. "He had an NG tube coming out of his nose because he couldn’t eat on his own since he was premature. But my oh my, was he cute!!!"
Later, after sharing their adoption news on social media, they were encouraged to make a registry. "We added 72 items," Sampson noted. "Of those items, 55 were bought with the first three days. We had a village of supporters behind us."
The doting new parents visited the NICU every day until they noticed his feeding tube had been taken out, and they were informed that he was eating well and would soon be ready to go home.
The day they brought their son Ezra home, Sampson told her husband, "I was just thinking about all the stuff we’ve gone through. The infertility struggles. This is the reason nothing was working out for us. God had this as part of his plan from the very beginning, and we just didn’t know it yet. Man, I’m glad he knows what we need better than we do."
In the end, the experience lead the proud new parents to heartwarmingly conclude, "‘Grateful doesn’t even sum up how we feel to have our son. We had one plan and God changed the game completely. We found out about our son when he was 1.5 weeks old. We literally became parents overnight. Families DON’T have to match! They are built on LOVE!"