Let's admit it—this parenting gig is not easy. Some days it feels like a long, lonely slog till bedtime where nothing goes right, everything is wrong, and no matter how many friends you have, you just feel...alone. Alone in the struggle to manage your family and your household. Alone in the endless errands and to-do each day. Alone in all the things you have to do and remember to make sure the people who depend on you have what they need.
It's hard, y'all. And sometimes all we want is to not be alone.
A recent Facebook post from Northern Colorado Mom's Blog said it best: "I needed my people today." The post, shared earlier this month, has achieved viral status earning 35,000 shares and 116,000 comments because it put words to a truth we all understand. "I am currently walking through the hardest season of my life," read the post, authored by Kim Adams. "And as mamas, we feel like we've always gotta put on our big girl pants and just muscle through. Never let 'em see you sweat, right? Oh, girl...if there's one thing this season has taught me, it's that that sort of lie is terribly dangerous to believe."
Some days are worse than others. Some weeks and months are worse than others. All parents know how it goes. And sometimes you just need your people, you know? "I thought I just needed to call them up and cry about what was happening," wrote Kim Adams. "And then while on the phone, my sweet friend asked me such an important question. She asked me to just say what I needed and wanted most. I told her that I didn't want to be alone. Her response: 'I'm on my way.'"
Boom. Just like that, this mama's friend drove from a different town just to be there for her friend. She picked up another friend on the way and the pair of them set to work, filling this mom's cup and giving her what she needed. "My disaster of a house? They helped me clean it, and assured me it wasn't that bad. They let me cry, they made me laugh, we listened to music, and most importantly... I. Wasn't. Alone."
So frequently parents are afraid to ask for what they need. We suffer alone, sure that no one cares, that our struggle is different or worse, that other parents will think less of us or that we're just not doing it right. But Kim reminds us, "If you're going through a rough season...know that you don't have to do it by yourself. You don't even have to know what you need — just start by asking to not be alone. I know there is someone in your life who will say to you 'I'm on my way,' if only you'd ask."
We tell our kids to use their voices to advocate for themselves and let people know what they need. It's time for parents to follow our own advice and ask for help and support when we're struggling.