When you become a mother, taking care of your appearance can often slip down the to-do list (see also eating, sleeping, and even getting dressed).
But although it is totally understandable that the way you look is not necessarily at the top of your priority list, that doesn’t make it OK for others to point it out.
Thankfully, one mother has delivered the perfect response to being told by an old “friend” that she had “let herself go” since having children.
Amy Weatherly, a parenting blogger from Texas, initially laughed off the woman’s comment that she had changed since becoming a parent, but after giving it some thought, she decided to take to Facebook to issue a message to others in the same position.
“I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a while today,” she began her post. “We chatted and hugged and she laughed and said ‘I can’t believe I’m seeing you out in public with no makeup and tennis shoes. Who even are you anymore?’”
The 34-year-old admitted that she never used to go out without makeup on and was always in fashionable clothes, but that after having her three children, things had changed.
Having responded to her friend’s comments with a jokey: “Yeah, Something about that third baby really forced me to let myself go,” the blogger then started questioning whether that was really the case.
“I knew I didn’t look the same as I did before, but had I actually let myself go? Ten extra lbs and a messy bun would point to yes, but my heart screamed ‘HECK TO THE NO YOU HAVE NOT, GIRLFRIEND,’” she continued her defense of herself and other women who had changed after having children.
“I’m more confident now. I’m more sure of myself. I’m less likely to cry over a breakout, or miss out on a night with my girls because of dirty hair. I’m less likely to slip into a mild depression because someone decided they didn’t like me, or pile on the insecurity because I wasn’t invited to that party,” she said about the other ways in which she had changed since becoming a mom.
“Truth is, I kind of like myself now, definitely more than I did before. I wouldn’t go back to that girl with the good hair for all the skinny jeans and skinny lattes in the world,” she wrote.
The mother of three then said that if people kept their “judgmental mouths shut,” they would probably find that many women would make the same choice.
“There’s a good chance we’ll discover they have in fact found themselves and appreciated themselves and loved themselves and realized that who they are as a human has absolutely nothing to do with their fake eyelashes or their highlights or their giant leathery feathery earrings (which, I still love, by the way.), and absolutely everything to do with their heart, and their mind, and their soul,” she wrote.
She also said that there’s a chance that moms have discovered a newfound appreciation for the person they have become.
“There’s a good chance we’ll uncover they’ve peeled away the outer layers and realized they were okay with the girl inside — the one who loves her family with everything she has, the one who selflessly gives to her children, the one who adores her husband, the one with passion, the one with hustle, the one with friends, the one with grit, the one with a giving heart, the one who cannot be kept down no matter what life throws her way.
“The world shouldn’t be putting her down. The world shouldn’t be worried about her. The world should be standing up and applauding her like crazy. The world should be working to follow in her fierce footsteps towards freedom,” she continued.
She finished her post by encouraging women not to believe that they have let themselves go.
“So the next time you personally start to get down because you don’t look the same, or dress the same, or feel the same as you did two/five/ten years ago, I hope you’ll remember this:
“You haven’t let yourself go. Stop saying that. It’s rude. It’s derogatory, and it’s downright absurd. You haven’t let yourself go, you have simply let go of the need to look perfect all of the time.
“You have simply let go of stuff that isn’t important and traded it in for stuff that will leave a lasting legacy. You have simply let go of stuff that will last a little while, for stuff that will last for generations and generations and generations,” she said.
She also issued a reminder to mothers that even though they should put on makeup and get their hair done if they want, they shouldn’t feel bad about it because those things don’t define them.
She signed of with: “You are more than just a pretty face.
“You are a momma. You are a wife. You are a sister. You are a lover. You are a fighter. You are a warrior. You are a daughter. You are a student. You are a teacher. You are a dreamer. You are a doer. You are giver. You are a believer.
“You are you, and that can never be taken away from you.”
Her empowering message resonated with other parents on Facebook, with many taking to the comments section to offer their thanks.
“So good! I was just looking at photos of myself in my 30s thinking ‘what happened?!’ I had to remind myself that I gave birth to 5 miracle babies since those photos were taken!!” one woman wrote.
“Perfectly said, I needed to read this… it’s really struck a cord [sic] with me. I have been feeling so insecure and upset with myself lately for ‘letting myself go’ but I am more than my hair, clothes, looks, I am a mummy to 3 amazing little humans and a wife, daughter, friend, sister and I also work helping people in their lives,” another added.
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