Michelle Obama gives her real opinion about 'lean in,' and a curse word is involved

·Wellness Editor
·4 min read

Former first lady Michelle Obama took the stage Saturday night at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, where she was interviewed by the poet Elizabeth Alexander in front of a packed arena. During the promotional event for her new memoir, Becoming, the former FLOTUS gave her real thoughts on the concept of leaning in.

“Marriage still ain’t equal, y’all,” Obama told the crowd. “It ain’t equal. I tell women that whole ‘you can have it all’ — mmm, nope, not at the same time, that’s a lie. It’s not always enough to lean in because that s*** doesn’t work.”

Obama quickly caught herself even as the crowd burst into cheers and applause. “I thought we were at home, y’all,” she said. “I was gettin’ real comfortable up in here. All right, I’m back now. Sometimes that stuff doesn’t work.”

Michelle Obama visits the Lower Eastside Girls Club in New York City on Dec. 1 to discuss her new book, <em>Becoming</em>. (Photo: Roy Rochlin/Getty Images)
Michelle Obama visits the Lower Eastside Girls Club in New York City on Dec. 1 to discuss her new book, Becoming. (Photo: Roy Rochlin/Getty Images)

The moment quickly caught like wildfire on social media, with people who were at the event tweeting about how inspirational, humanizing and funny it was to hear her get so real:

While many found hearing the former FLOTUS swear unexpected and charming, others were quick to point out the real importance of what she was saying, which is essentially that Sheryl Sandberg’s famous feminist advice is flawed. As writer and cultural critic Touré tweeted, “The substance of that sentence — a rejection of Sheryl Sandberg’s controversial ethos — is much more interesting.”

Obama’s memoir is filled with other moments of honesty for which she’s being praised, particularly with respect to how much her words of truth have the power to help other women. In the memoir she writes about a miscarriage she had, how she conceived her two daughters through IVF and even the fact that she and former President Barack Obama have sought marriage counseling in the past. “Marriage counseling for us was one of those ways where we learned how to talk out our differences,” Obama told Robin Roberts in a Good Morning America segment about her book. “I know too many young couples who struggle and think that somehow there’s something wrong with them. And I want them to know that Michelle and Barack Obama, who have a phenomenal marriage and who love each other, we work on our marriage. And we get help with our marriage when we need it.”

Although many turn to Obama for words of wisdom, one person who is not seeking her advice is Melania Trump. During her Good Morning America interview, Obama told Roberts that she hasn’t heard from the current first lady with any requests for counsel. Trump’s team told CNN about the matter: “Mrs. Trump is a strong and independent woman who has been navigating her role as First Lady in her own way. When she needs advice on any issue, she seeks it from her professional team within the White House.”

Obama’s book, which was released only recently, in November, is already the bestselling book of 2018.

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