Mentors needed as Clarksville Big Brothers Big Sisters seeks to forge lifelong friendships

For almost 50 years, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Clarksville has been making connections in the community, and now the organization is poised to see one of its biggest years yet.

Since joining the organization last year, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Clarksville Executive Director Sandra Brandon and Program Manager Thomasa Munroe have seen many changes, they said, noting that the program has undergone a streamlined application process, increased its marketing and community involvement, boosted activities for volunteers, or "Bigs," and the children they serve, or "Littles," in the office and doubled the number of matches they had a year ago.

But one thing hasn’t changed: The need for male mentors.

Of the 18 children currently on the organization's waitlist, 16 are boys waiting for a male mentor.

Meeting the need creatively

The organization has gotten creative to find ways to help the children who are currently waiting on a Big. Once per month, they hold group mentoring sessions with Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts and Mathematics (STEAM) activities for matches and those waiting to be matched, leadership said.

The women soon hope to offer an athletics group mentor, and although those events are great and helpful for everyone, they can't take the place of one-on-one connections made through the program's traditional mentorship model, they said.

Brandon and Munroe said they weren’t sure what’s causing people to hesitate to sign up for their program, but they hope to clear any misconceptions about what a mentor does in Big Brothers Big Sisters.

First, the program doesn't involve a big financial commitment, they said.

“It’s low to no cost,” Munroe added. “If you’ve got the gas money to go to their house and take them down the street to the park, there’s so many things that are offered out there that’s free.”

Big Brothers Big Sisters encourages its volunteers to attend no cost events and activities by putting out monthly calendars that list free events in Montgomery County, including monthly "Match" events hosted by the organization.

“Your life does not have to be perfect to be a mentor,” Brandon also noted, while Munroe nodded in agreement. “We don’t look at your credit. Don’t let the background check necessarily scare you. A parking ticket or misdemeanor doesn’t mean you are automatically out. You don’t have to be perfect. What’s important is being there for the kids.”

And, the program doesn’t expect any of its volunteers to be parents.

“All they need is a friend,” Brandon said of the Littles. “They need someone they can confide in and be real with them without the repercussion of feeling they’re instantly going to be in trouble.”

Monroe added, "I don’t know if there’s a misconception that they’ll have to pay bills, provide transportation for the family or be another parent, but it’s not that. It’s building a relationship, twice a month, for a couple of hours, talking, listening and being supportive and encouraging.”

The statements were echoed by former "Little" Heather Harrison, who decided to get her children involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters.

'It's all come full circle'

Harrison was 15 and going through a rough time when her mother signed her up for Big Brothers Big Sisters, she said.

She didn’t remember everything she did with her mentor, but one thing never left.

“It was a while ago,” Harrison said with a laugh. “But I’ll never forget the companionship we had. Having someone other than my mom to talk to was great.”

Harrison was able to share moments and confide in her mentor, and having a someone else gave Harrison the freedom and judgement-free environment to be able to properly express herself, she said, noting that her mentor also gave her the encouragement and support she needed to believe she could get through hardships and thrive in life.

She said she wanted the same for her children, so she enrolled them in the Clarksville program.

"As a parent, you want to be that safe space for your children and don't want them to feel like you are judging," Harrison said. "But I had to think back to when I was a teenager, and sometimes, even if you don't think you are judging, it doesn't feel like that to a teenager. I want them to have someone they are comfortable with."

Her 15-year-old daughter is preparing to match with her mentor while her oldest son is on the waitlist, but he is participating in the group mentoring events as he waits, she said.

Harrison stressed that she isn’t looking for someone to take her place as a mother or take on the responsibilities of raising a teenager or pre-teen. Instead, she hopes the mentors will give her children added support and friendship, like her mentor gave her.

“I have six children, so I might not have the time, sometimes, when my kids need it, and they need the attention of someone right now,” Harrison said. “She has someone who she can text or call with the maturity level she needs so she isn't just going to her friends."

The program has been especially helpful for her son, whose being homeschooled.

He's socializing with other kids his age and getting to interact with them.

“He was hesitant at first, but he looks forward to them now,” Harrison said of the activities. "And that is great for me, knowing that my child is comfortable and happy going there."

Thinking back on how helpful the organization has been for the last two generations makes Harrison emotional.

“It’s a full circle moment for us,” she said. “They helped me, and now they're helping my kids in more ways than one.”

'We have the opportunity to shape our community'

O’Neal Wiggins became a Big Brother three years ago when he was asked by a former leader if he would be willing to join the Board.

At the time, Wiggins said he would think about it, and after some thought, he realized he would make a bigger impact by being a mentor. Soon after, he met his then 11-year-old mentee.

"I remember when we first got matched, and we had to fill out this paper and were just sitting there asking 'what's your favorite color, what's your favorite food, TV show, sport'," Wiggins said with a laugh.

He learned that his Little loved Wendy's, wanted to join the military someday and had a competitive streak.

As a veteran, Wiggins quickly bonded with the boy, he said.

At Match events, Wiggins and his Little have been able to put their competitive spirit to the test with sack races, kickball and bowling. They also talk about school often.

"These kids are so smart, and they don't need another parent," Wiggins said. "They need someone who will encourage and help them realize their full potential."

Wiggins also takes time to introduce his Little to community members he might not have had the chance to meet.

From principals, superintendents and professors to attorneys and judges, Wiggins has proudly introduced the boy to anyone and everyone he can find. Seeing the changes in his Little and knowing that he is having an impact on his life sometimes makes him emotional, leaving a lasting mark, Wiggins said.

"It's such a humbling experience," he said. "I'm first thinking 'If one person knows it, everyone should' and that's not life. I have the opportunity to mold this young man and remind him that he can do anything.

"We have the opportunity to shape our community, We can mold and encourage these young men and women to be better people in life and prepare them for their future."

If you or anyone you know is interested in joining Big Brothers Big Sisters of Clarksville, you can visit the website to sign up, get more information and see upcoming events.

This article originally appeared on Clarksville Leaf-Chronicle: Mentors needed for Clarksville Big Brothers Big Sisters. Here's why