Men Revealed What It's Really Like Leaving Their Partners For The People They Cheated With, And Ohhhhh Boy
Recently, Reddit user u/serraad asked the men of the community, "Men who cheated and then dated the person they cheated with, how did it turn out?"
Welp, these stories ranged from happily ever after to crappily ever after. Not everyone agrees with cheating on your partner, but once you start dating the person you cheated with, things can get prettttty interesting.
So here are some men who cheated on their significant other and ended up dating the person they cheated with:
Note: Some submissions include topics of domestic violence. Please proceed with caution.
1."When I was a young lad, my partner of two years cheated on me with my best mate. Turns out it had been going on for about a year, which explained why she kept losing all of her best friends. I was sad none of them had the guts to say anything at the time. I only found out after I broke things off for different reasons. She ended up seeing my ex–best mate for a while until she cheated on him...with his brother."
2."My first ex-wife left me because she didn't know if my son she was pregnant with was mine, my best friend's, or another guy's. She then married my former best friend 32 days after we divorced. He came crying to me four years later when she left him for their neighbor."
3."My mother cheated on my father with two separate men — one of them was my mother’s high school sweetheart. Apparently they even got my mother pregnant, and she got an abortion shortly after I was born. My dad never found out about that until just recently. My mother then cheated on my father again with the man who would become my stepfather and the father of my half brother. My mother and my stepfather's marriage lasted for about 16 years. Eventually it became clear that he was becoming tired of my mother. He eventually made up excuses to go and sleep around with other women. He even developed a pretty big crush on his work assistant. Eventually they separated and got a divorce."
4."I think it's been working out pretty well for my ex-husband. He began an affair with his married intern at work at some point. I'm not sure of the exact details of when it started, but I think it was in the spring of 2018. He went away on a work trip and came back and was never the same toward me ever again. I was pretty distraught as to why his behavior became so aggressive toward me, why he refused to look at me or talk to me, or why he shoved me if I tried to give him a hug. Eventually I found out."
"But you know, I don't think I ever made him light up the way he did around her. Obviously we divorced, and she did the same with her husband. I probably should have told people about what they did, but I didn't want to sound bitter. His family welcomed her with open arms, and they recently went on a monthlong trip to Europe for vacation.
"The way he did everything was very cruel. He said he wanted a divorce over an email after 14 years together. But even though he was terrifying that last year, the first 13 years were really good. So I'm OK that they are happy...but maybe sometimes I wish she would become some hairy, grotesque, sweaty creature. I'm just not that lucky."
5."I met my current wife while still being married and living with my ex-wife. I met my current wife on a Wednesday, and by that Saturday I was out of my ex-wife's place. We didn’t have sex until a month later (I still consider it cheating, as I definitely made out with my now-wife the day we met). The moment I cheated, I knew my old marriage was over, and it gave me the push I needed to get out of an unhappy marriage. Luckily, we had no kids together. My current marriage has now lasted longer than my first one, and we have two beautiful kids. I regret not breaking up before cheating — I was too immature. But I’m definitely happier now."
6."I stayed with her for 10 years because of the guilt. She rinsed me of my inheritance, didn’t work, and had me pay all the bills. It ended with her beating me with a stool and me becoming homeless because of it. The police have been less than helpful."
7."My ex cheated on me with a girl I thought was my bestie. After I broke up with him (he was too chicken to break it off with me), they eventually dated. All of our friends hated her — no one wanted to invite her out. She ended up becoming abusive and beat his ass in front of their apartment. Strange thing is, she tried to hook up with me before she tried my ex."
8."During a previous on-again, off-again relationship in high school, I connected and slept with a person I eventually began dating. She and I separated last May. She (and everybody else) could see this coming. Realistically, my decision to sleep with her during my previous relationship was ignorant and selfish and cowardly — that relationship should've ended days prior. I just never had the balls to agree with my first ex that it was over. At least not before sleeping with my new ex."
"It led to emotional love bombing between us both — we just connected for the wrong reasons. We both had just separated from people and got together. We had a great relationship in a lot of ways for about six months, but it broke down during that time. In the following two years, we grew apart and actually never had any sort of sexual intimacy for that time period. I went to inpatient therapy earlier on in our relationship because I struggled with depression, and she eventually expressed that my emotional deterioration triggered her own trauma and made it difficult to be attracted to me.
"I loved her and wanted to build a future with her and was always willing to put aside our differences. But it's all good — things change, and you have to accept some things aren't for you and won't work out.
"It's been over since May, but she was in a relationship by July. We dated for two and a half years. Those years demonstrated what I need to avoid moving forward. Don't sacrifice myself and my own self-love to earn the love of another. I'm never allowing myself to be walked on like that again because I've never felt lower in my life than during the last year (give or take two or three months). I'm working to heal that damage now."
9."I home-wrecked a relationship and dated the girl for years. Every interaction she had with another guy triggered me with anxiety, and she had a lot of guy friends. We broke up for other reasons, but that anxiety was a killer, and I felt as if it was my karma."
10."I had an affair and left my long-term live-in partner for her. We got married and then proceeded to cheat on each other for a number of years. Eventually we straightened up and had a couple of kids. We’ve been together for 30 years now, and it’s amazing. We’re happy and have a great relationship."
11."After my dad married his girlfriend, she asked him to cut ties with us. She felt uncomfortable around us (the poor thing). When they started dating, she would call our home, and if my sister answered the phone, she would call her names and talk shit about our mom to her. Then they became a steady thing and our dad tried to introduce his 'new girlfriend' to us, but we knew who she was and wouldn't engage with her at all. So she asked our dad not to see us anymore because we didn't like her (I wonder why)."
12."I'm still with the person I cheated with nine years later, and things are great. I was unhappy in the previous relationship and had been for a long time. I lacked healthy communication skills and struggled to express my needs, and my needs weren't being met, on top of that. As soon as I found someone else willing to meet my needs (first sex, but that was a gateway to safety and intimacy), I cheated. I now have a great relationship with my ex-spouse. I regularly go to therapy, take ownership of my poor choices, and have grown a lot."
13."One of my close friends was a notorious cheater, and as far as I know, he cheated on all his girlfriends. He cheated on his last girlfriend of many years with his now-wife. The sermon at their wedding even cracked a joke about their love story. Something along the lines of, 'After they met abroad, John had to return to his home country to take care of some [air quotes] 'unfinished business' [wink-wink].' They have three kids now, and he’s an awesome dad."
14."So I was seeing a girl, and she was cheating on me quite a bit. Somehow, in the middle of this, I reconnected with the girl I first had sex with, and I guess I began emotionally cheating on my girlfriend. I moved home, and the girl and I got together. That will be 13 years next July."
15.And finally: "My brother constantly cheated on one of his ex-girlfriends. One of the women he’d cheat with was a friend's sister, and it went on for a while. After he split from his ex, she pursued him and they dated. As his interest, unsurprisingly, quickly waned, she pulled the goalie in a last-ditch effort. They stayed together until my nephew was about 1, and my brother just called it all off and walked away. She legitimately thought they were soulmates, and basically forced him to take her to court to see his son when he started dating someone new (his now-wife of 10-plus years). They had a terrible co-parenting relationship for a long time, and she even wanted to discuss how things ended 'for closure' before her wedding (which he refused)."
"Surprisingly, he has a great relationship with her husband now, as they’ve bonded over how much both of them dislike her family. Her daughter with him and my niece are also good friends too. It worked out after a decade of turmoil, but it didn’t work out for her and her dreams after being 'the other woman.'
"My brother didn’t treat many women well before his wife, so he’s an asshole in this as well."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
