13 Men Shared Why They Don't Want Kids, And It's A Perspective I Don't Often See

I recently asked the men of the BuzzFeed Community who don't want children how they came to this decision because as a millennial woman, I often hear conversations of women deciding to not have children for their own reasons but I don't typically hear the men's perspective on this. The answers I received varied and some were quite surprising. Here is what they had to say.

1."I don’t want any more responsibilities. I enjoy being able to provide for myself. I do whatever I want, whenever I want. I’m not responsible for anyone else but myself. At this point, I’m not sure I’d be willing to put anyone else first."

—Ellis, 34

2."The thought of me being responsible for another human being is terrifying — especially in this world that’s going to crap! Children that are born today have a pretty good chance of seeing the year 2100. What’s the world gonna look like then? I don’t want to see it, so why would I want to make a child who might?"

—jmacxjr

3."I grew up with younger siblings and cousins. The adults of the family would often dump them on me while they would party. I had to skip a lot of my childhood to raise kids not much younger than myself. Now as an adult, I see those same family members with kids and even though I love them I always say no when they ask if I will watch their kids. I don't want to be responsible for someone else's kids, forget about having my own."

4."There are several reasons why I don't want kids. It's perhaps selfish, but I value my own time too much. I like being able to decide to do something on a whim, or equally, decide to do nothing with my day. Planning to do anything when children are involved seems like a military operation to me, taking so much effort and time."

"I'm a very quiet, organized, clean, and tidy person. Kids just seem like a chaotic ball of noise and mess to me, and that would stress me out. I genuinely don't think I could afford to have kids considering the cost of everything right now.

I just don't feel like I have any paternal instinct whatsoever. Perhaps that could change with my kid, but I wouldn't want to risk the possibility that it wouldn't and therefore be an awful parent."

—raisedbywolves

5."I like my freedom. My career takes a lot of time. When I get home, I want to relax and spend time with my wife. I want to go do things with her without having to worry about dedicating all of our free time to children. My wife has health problems, so that's already demanding for us. Kids require a lot of time and money. This doesn't appeal to me. I'll just keep being the cool uncle."

—Levi, 32

6."How can I take care of a kid when I don’t even eat my vegetables? Not trying to be a smart ass but the bottom line is some days I don’t feel like I can take care of myself so how can you say to me have a kid and enjoy?"

—magdalenashelly32

7."I come from a long line of sick people and it would in no way be fair to pass on my DNA to a child. I also think I'd be a terrible parent and — given my childhood wasn't the greatest — I am not willing to take the risk of fucking up a member of the next generation. Lastly, I know I wouldn't be able to cope as a single parent. This rules out either having a child now, as a single person, or waiting until I'm in a relationship (haven't been on a date in more than five years) and living in constant fear of that relationship ending."

—Anonymous, 31

8."My family has always struggled with money. My parents raising three kids didn't make things easy. I was forced to grow up quickly and help pay the bills to ease the financial burden. I don't feel comfortable bringing children into this world if I cannot support them and putting them in a situation where they would be forced to grow up like I did. I would feel nothing but guilt."

9."There are tons of non-gender-specific reasons to feel this way — children are expensive and life as an individual is barely sustainable as-is. It’s reasonable to believe life will not get easier in the future, and bringing a child you can barely afford into a world that seems to be actively getting worse sounds like a bad idea."

"If you want kids, I can see that desire pushing past the cynicism. But if you’re not even that into the idea, to begin with? Yeah, why bother? Why is the default that everyone should have kids? The world would be better off if the only people who did were genuinely excited about the idea."

—reginaldcartwright

10."I’m too sleepy! I love sleeping and I’m tired all the time WITHOUT children. Becoming a father would ruin my sleep schedule and it’s worth it for some people, but not for me."

—Thatcher, 39

11."I never enjoyed the company of children, even when I was one. I was never one to go 'ooh and ahh' over babies. They just didn't register on my radar. As I entered my 20s in a serious relationship with a woman who wanted a large family (she was the oldest of four and had two half-brothers from her dad's prior marriage), the more we planned for the type of family she wanted, the more anxious I became. I finally had to get gut-level honest and admit that I didn't have the same goals she did and that children were never anything I was instinctually driven to have. I have never held or seen a baby and had that 'Oh, I want one!' feeling. It's just not there. I had some inner turmoil wondering 'What's wrong with me?' but then I accepted that some people are just like that. And I'm one of them. I'm in my early 50s now, and have no regrets about being child-free."

—Anonymous

12."I know myself and that I would be ill-suited to fatherhood. I had a fantastic childhood with next-level great parents and I see how much work went into parenting. It’s not any effort I’m willing to make. I like kids just fine but I’ve just never wanted kids and I can’t see that changing. My life is wonderful as it currently going and I see no reason to throw in such an unpredictable factor such as children that I know I’ll never want or need."

13."Kids cost a shit ton of money and being a parent is a 24/7 job with no sick days and no time off. If I did have children, my kids would be people of color which means I have to worry a thousand times more, and being a parent means you're signing up for a lifetime of worrying about your kids and that's something that I do not want to sign up for."

—Anonymous, 41

If you're someone who doesn't want a child, share your reasoning with me in the comments below!