11 Specific Questions About Sex And Intimacy That Women Have For Men, Answered In NSFW Detail
Note: This post contains mentions of explicit sexual content.
Even though it's 2023, sex is still often considered a taboo topic — even though it shouldn't be. Because of this, it can be tough to have vulnerable and tranparent conversations with the opposite sex about anything related to intimacy.
To help normalize having more of these conversations, I rounded up answers from this Reddit thread by user u/sporalplon1985 — where they asked,"Women: what NSFW questions about men have you always wondered?" Here's what people had to say:
(You can also read the men-asking-women version of this thread here.)
QUESTION #1: "What does it feel like to be inside someone?"
Answer #1: "Have you ever been wrapped really tightly in a warm, heavy blanket on a cold day? If you add the sensation of a firm all-over massage and then localize the sensation to just the absolute most sensitive part of your body, that’s basically what it’s like.
I also have this enormous emotional connection, a swelling sense of urgency, and an absolute focus on my partner. Also, the feeling of impact of your partner’s thighs and bottom on my thighs and pelvis is quite pleasing... perhaps like being firmly hugged?"
Answer #2: "Like the initial moment of stepping into a hot tub, that shockingly warm sensation that feels super refreshing and great. But if you're really excited or it's with someone you love, it kinda sends ripples throughout your body and makes your entire being feel godlike and connected to your partner like never before."
Answer #3: "Warm, soft. The rest is the skin-on-skin contact with my wife, which honestly is the best part of the whole experience. Just being connected with her and having that bond uninterrupted."
QUESTION #2: "If you don't cum for a while, like a week or a month or so, do your balls feel different? Like, pressurized or sore?"
Answer #1: "My balls won't really feel different but sex will pre-occupy more and more of my thinking as time goes on. It's kind of like if you don't eat, as you get hungrier you think more and more about food and eating."
Answer #2: "Only if you feel aroused, then you get the 'blue balls' feeling, which is a full ache, roughly analogous to needing the toilet. If it's been a really long time, that feeling might come and go over the course of a day, even if you're not aroused.
But in my own experience, it takes a while to get that far. As an adult man, three days of feeling emotionally horny but not doing it is more likely to give me a ballache than two weeks of not being so much in the mood.
Contrary to what many men (OK, boys) say, though, you don't need to have sex for that feeling to go away. Though sexual frustration also exists as a separate emotional state from the physiological state of having full balls and needing to empty them. I can feel just as sexually frustrated thirty seconds after masturbating — if not more so — than before I started."
Answer #3: "Nah nothing changes really, you're just likely to get aroused more easily. For some people, they'll leak a little when aroused, and others will just have wet dreams."
QUESTION #3: "What 'little' acts of love do you like the most?"
Answer #1: "A lady friend of mine said, 'You look good' when I saw her at the bar on Friday, and I've been riding that high all week."
Answer #2: "Playing with the hair at the back of my neck is amazing. I love it when my wife just reaches over and gently massages/runs her fingers through. After dinner, while watching a movie, if she’s just walking past. It’s all welcome."
Answer #3: "Being the little spoon is the best thing after a long day. It doesn’t matter how bad it was, it makes ya feel safe, protected, and loved."
QUESTION #4: "What does it feel like to cum? Is it like when you finally get to pee after having to hold it?"
Answer #1: "Imagine if your wee-hole had to sneeze after not being able to for some time."
Answer #2: "If a woman's orgasm is a pot boiling over; a man's is a bottle of champagne."
Answer #3: "As you approach it, a wave of pleasure washes over your body. You stop thinking of anything else and can only focus on finishing. You need to release and nothing else matters.
There's a tipping point. You hit that and know it's going to happen. Imagine you're on a roller coaster, you've hit the peak of one big hill and you know that once the weight of the coaster makes it over, you're going down. The coaster hasn't begun to fall yet but you know, there's no going back.
Once you pass that tipping point, you can feel your balls pumping cum. The penis is now being pumped full of cum and it feels wonderful.
You take those final few strokes and your brain reboots. Like hitting reset on a computer. There's nothing else. There's no world. There's no life. It's just this orgasm. Your entire body flexes at once. For example, flex every muscle now, hold it for a few seconds, and then release it. That's what happens.
You flex and your penis spasms, twitches, and shoots out the cum. If you make a fist, squeeze very quickly, release, and then squeeze again, that's roughly what's happening. It convulses and as it does, the cum flows past the extremely sensitive head and you feel like your vision could go white for just a moment. The wave of pleasure hits hard and fast. Much like an actual wave at the beach, one minute you're fine. The next thing you know your body is upside down, you're underwater and then you take a breath knowing it's over, but you're still not done with the experience.
Everything I said in the last two paragraphs takes place in about six to seven seconds.
Your body un-tenses, and you relax. The muscles are no longer flexing, but your penis is still pumping out the last drop or bit of cum. You remember you stopped breathing and inhale, catching your breath.
You've now entered post-orgasm clarity. You've removed absolutely all lust from your body, anything you had convinced yourself to watch or do while getting to that tipping point now comes crashing back. You may realize 'Oh, wow, I should NOT have finished to that' or maybe you're just incredibly honest with yourself and you suddenly realize: 'I should go for a run in a bit I've been putting it off.'
Your body stops tingling, and now it's over as the wave of relaxation hits."
QUESTION #5: "For a woman, feeling hot is a 'process' (and a growing thing). But men can be all chill one minute and immediately become hard the next. How does that feel? First, you feel 'normal' and the second after, you're 'hot'? I was always intrigued about how this works."
Answer #1: "Okay, I'll elaborate a bit, that's a great question. I speak for no one but me; my experience is just mine. There are two kinds of horny: body horny and brain horny.
Brain horny is more the way you describe it: a process, a growing thing that needs to be built up somehow. I personally call this 'true' horniness because that's when I actually feel excited about anything sexual.
Then there is physical horny, which is when the penis is hard. It's just there. You know it's accessible, you could easily rub one out, but it's whatever.
The thing is, you can (will happen quite often) get physically horny because you are brain horny, but it's more difficult for it to go the other way around.
My theory is that what you describe as going from 0 to 100 is, in fact, when a man is both brain and physically horny."
Answer #2: "This might be a weird way to explain it but I think of it kind of like cooking. Like mostly it's like a Crock Pot that has been simmering slowly for a long time and building up to when it's time to eat. There's always food in the Crock Pot but we wait until whenever the right time to eat it is...if that makes sense.
Sometimes my girlfriend will take initiative and start sex, which can instantly flip the switch from, oh 'We're just relaxing' to 'Oh, I want her right this very second' but it's not out of nowhere because I always think she's gorgeous and attractive."
Answer #3: "Like when you are walking down the street, and you don't know you wanted pizza until someone mentions it. Other times you just don't have any desire for pizza and that's simply it.
You could eat a pizza and pizza is also your favorite food above all. This but it's also with the complicity of someone that proposes to do something fun while you are studying so you instantly switch to a fun mood. If you crave pizza, then you are the first one to know and need no switch.
Once you visualize the possibility of pizza, the options and scenarios are many, sometimes it can also build up to craving really fast."
QUESTION #6: "What is it like giving oral sex to a woman?"
Answer #1: "Personally, I like it. It feels good to make your partner feel good. Sometimes it's a little irritating on the tongue if they are stubbly. Occasionally neck pain but that's cured by a pillow under their hips.
It's hot when they get into it and you can feel your beard getting wetter and you know you're doing something right."
Answer #2: "It's pretty awesome. The only real downside is that you really need to use your hands, too, or your jaw will hurt, and get a good breathing rhythm down. Same for women in that regard, I guess."
Answer #3: "It feels fine. Usually, I like to hold my wife's legs just because her skin is so soft. Or I'll reach up and hold her hands. It's tough to breathe right because my nose is usually blocked but breathing through my mouth dries up my saliva. Yes, sometimes there's a smell and sometimes there's not. It's a human body so I just deal."
QUESTION #7: "Why do men sometimes struggle to get an erection?"
Answer #1: "Anxiety kills erections and makes it impossible to get hard. If a dude can't get it up, try shifting the focus away from his penis and just do some touching/kissing. If you show him that you aren't just a ball of expectations and actually want to spend time with him, regardless of erection potential, he'll feel closer to you and you're more likely to see the results you were looking for."
Answer #2: "Because having an erection is also about being in a particular state of mind. Even today, after numerous previous partners, and being in a three-year relationship with my current girlfriend, there are some moments when having an erection is not easy.
When I am tired, or really concerned about something at work, or when I am not in the mood, I have to empty my mind and focus on the moment to be able to have an erection. For a first-time intimate relationship with someone new, it could be stress, for instance. Do not worry if you think this is about you when it happens. We have a lot of other tools to discover your bodies and, who knows, your man might erect after a bit of empty-minding playing."
Answer #3: "Because it has a mind of its own like:
Guy: I'm doing a speech, don't get hard.
Penis: *Gets hard.*
Guy: I'm about to have sex, get hard.
Penis: Well, now I'm not going to."
QUESTION #8: "What’s the deal with wanting us to swallow your cum? Why do you care what happens after you’ve got it out?"
Answer #1: "I believe it’s not a huge deal for most but let me put it this way… Have you ever experienced something during sexual intimacy where you thought: 'Oh, my god, that was so hot. I never knew that could turn me on like that' or just found something that really got you going. Cumming in your partner's mouth is one of those things for some people.
It’s super hot seeing someone you’re so sexually attracted to wanting the peak of your sexual act to happen in their mouth. It makes you feel like you’re wanted and that the person thinks you are downright sexy. It’s a liberating feeling for men that I would say is safe to compare to the feeling women get when their partners make them orgasm just by eating them out. It’s a personal preference."
Answer #2: "If I was ever in a relationship, I wouldn't want that for her. Don't personally find it attractive, nor do I find it attractive to finish on the face unless it is head."
Answer #3: "It's more of how into it you are. If you don't want to swallow cum then honestly (this is me personally), I don't want you to suck me to completion. I want every moment for you to be completely into the act and to desire everything.
It is the feeling of being desired, physically and emotionally. I want you to say yes to everything (which is why when I know there will be a 'no,' I won't ask for those things). I want the grabs and the words and the moans. I want to hear what you want to do and be done to you. I also am the kind of person who likes to cuddle afterward instead of just getting up and doing something else."
QUESTION #9: "How nervous do guys get about performance, and do they think sex is mostly their 'job' while she lies there? I'm bi and only slept with women until this year. With guys, I feel like they get so anxious, and then a few seemed really embarrassed because they couldn't get hard, or cum 'too fast.'"
Answer #1: "I grew up with the trope that women didn't get satisfaction because guys just got theirs and fell asleep before they were done. I vowed that that would not happen to me, and as a result, I got really, really anxious about my performance.
If you want a quick way to alleviate that anxiety, I could suggest providing positive (audible) feedback whenever they do something to you that feels really good, or in the absence thereof: tell them and/or teach them how to do it.
Also: saying: 'practice makes perfect, and I want a lot of practice' in a sexual context could be a good idea depending on the timing/delivery of the joke."
Answer #2: "I don't get nervous at all. I've always started with oral making sure she cums first before penetration ever starts. Nothing to worry about as worse comes to worst, she only cums once, just like me. Usually, however, that leads to her cumming once or twice during actual sex as the oral jump-starts her sex drive and gets her really turned on."
Answer #3: "Where it's worked out the best, in particular, with a new partner, is they don't give me any time to dwell on it. 'Oh, I love that cum, now get that mouth on my tits and work my pussy with those rough fingers.' Get me back on the task of getting her off.
I find as I get to know the person I get to time it out and usually end up coming second. Though, some partners have told me they really only want intercourse for so long. After that, they want me to go for it.
It seems like it really takes confidence on both sides. And it's worked out best for me when I've been with women who have enjoyed talking sex. Then again, I tend to switch and I like women with a lot of confidence who can take control now and then. I'm also not scared of having toys in the bedroom."
QUESTION #10: "Does anal feel different for you? Had anal with a guy that never had it before, and he didn’t even realize he wasn’t in my vagina but in my butt until I told him."
Answer #1: "Significantly different. With my wife, vaginal is awesome: it's slick, warm, and I can feel the ridges inside pulsing as she's enjoying herself. Anal is less warm and more burning hot. Obviously, the only lube is the lube I bring with me in there. And, instead of ridges, it is a constant full-length tightness that feels amazing."
Answer #2: "It’s tighter, and to me, I definitely can feel the physical difference between them. But that’s thanks to anatomy classes in college."
Answer #3: "Depends on the woman. The ones that really craved anal and didn't want/need much warm-up, it was pretty similar and overall really tight at first. On the other hand, ones that needed a lot of warm-up with fingers and toys actually felt looser because we'd spend so much time stretching with play.
Both are enjoyable, but completely different experiences."
QUESTION #11: "Do guys feel good when their nips are stimulated? As a girl, I love it when a guy does that so just curious."
Answer #1: "My nipples are pretty much always hard and seem to garner a lot of attention during sex, but I don't get any pleasurable sensation from them being stimulated. My current girlfriend likes to try to rip them from my chest, and I kind of like it for an unknown reason, buts it's a mental thing, not physical.
Also, worth mentioning some girls get nothing out of having their nipples stimulated."
Answer #2: "Depends on the dude, I guess, but mine also get a little hard and sensitive when I'm aroused, and it feels great. A lick or caress is very nice."
Answer #3: "Because I'm weird, I like playing with mine. It doesn't really do anything, it's just... nice? But I don't really get pleasure from it."
