Meghan Markle wrote about suffering a miscarriage in an op-ed for the New York Times.
The Duchess explained that in order to heal from loss, we have to ask each other "are you okay?"
Meghan Markle opened up about suffering a miscarriage in a moving op-ed for the New York Times titled "The Losses We Share.” The Duchess explained that she was pregnant over the summer, and had the miscarriage while at home with her and Prince Harry’s son Archie.
"It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib. After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second."
Meghan wrote that hours later she was in the hospital holding Prince Harry's hand: “I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.”
She remembered how much it had meant to her when a journalist asked if she was "OK" on royal tour, and explained that "sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, “Are you OK?”
On top of the "almost unbearable grief" she experienced, Meghan wrote about the tragedies that have unfolded in 2020—including the murders of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, as well as the Covid-19 pandemic. "On top of all of this, it seems we no longer agree on what is true," she said. "We aren’t just fighting over our opinions of facts; we are polarized over whether the fact is, in fact, a fact. "
She went on to explain "that polarization, coupled with the social isolation required to fight this pandemic, has left us feeling more alone than ever"—which is why she decided to open up about her and Prince Harry's experience.
"We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing."
The Duchess concluded her essay by encouraging others to ask each other "Are you OK?” ending it with the powerful words, "We will be."
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