How Meg Ryan In "When Harry Met Sally..." Taught Me How To Ask For What I Wanted
When Harry Met Sally was released 30 years ago today, and I can't even count the number of times I've seen it. If I'm being honest, I probably saw it way too young, considering its R rating. But my parents owned it on VHS, and I remember watching it over and over again—they couldn't stop me. I loved every part of it, even the scenes I didn't fully understand. It's probably at least 50% responsible for my lifelong desire to live in New York City.
And Sally Albright, as played by Meg Ryan and written by Nora Ephron, became an inspiration for how I wanted to live my life. Just like me, Sally came to New York from the midwest to be a reporter—so she could write about things that happen to other people. She owned her sexuality, confidently purchasing Days of the Week underpants and dumping a guy who couldn't handle the fact that they don't make Sunday...because of God. And she gave Diane Keaton a run for her money in the fashion department.
But we need to talk about possibly my favorite aspect of Sally's character: how she ordered food in restaurants. Sure, her "performance" at Katz's Deli is probably her most famous restaurant scene, but it's every other time she is ordering food that actually comprise the best parts of the movie. In fact, the trait of Sally's picky eating was actually stolen from the film's writer, Nora Ephron. In the DVD extras, director Rob Reiner talks about going to lunch with Ephron and hearing her order (in the super specific way Sally does) and saying, "that HAS to be in the movie." Sally ordering food is one of the first things we see her do, and it ultimately tells us so much about her. At a stop at a diner on Harry and Sally's drive from Chicago to New York, we see Sally order in what becomes her signature manner:
What an ICON. Sally doesn't suffer fools. She knows what she wants and she won't settle for anything less. I love how she even gives the waitress an option for if they don't have what she wants. That is the solution-oriented person that I strive to be. The behavior is so distinctively awesome that it's what makes Harry certain they've met before when they run into each other on a plane:
Later when Harry is explaining to her why he thinks she is high maintenance (aka man code for a woman who is confident and completely herself), Sally explains her behavior:
"Well, I just want it the way I want it." Is there a more empowering statement for women in 2019? And it was said in 1989. Let's all print T-shirts and march down the street with huge Sally Albright heads on sticks. Because let's face it, women are often told to be polite and not make a fuss. How often have you been at a restaurant where one of your girlfriends refuses to send something back to the kitchen when it's incorrect? We are taught to just make due: "I ordered fries not salad, but it's OK." "Yes, Pepsi is fine instead of Coke." We've all done it. But ladies, it is not actually OK. Sally taught us that 30 years ago. And if you are lucky, you'll find someone who loves that it takes you "an hour and a half to order a sandwich." Be like Sally, and all your dreams can come true.
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