Meet the 'Survivor 44' Cast! Carolyn Wiger's Battle with Addiction Will Make Her Play as Her "Complete Authentic Self"

The 35-year-old will leave no literal stone unturned as she attempts to take in everything the game has to offer.

Carolyn Wiger is making one thing abundantly clear: She is not going to hide any part of herself. That's because, after a rocky road of addiction and recovery, the drug counselor feels confident in who she is, goofiness, spontaneity, sensitivity, and all. Watching the show since the beginning, she was inspired to finally apply after seeing Maryanne Oketch win as her authentic self. And she's ready to hopefully replicate her finish, with plenty of laughs and tears along the way.

Read on for my interview with Carolyn, and make sure to check in with Parade.com every day for interviews with this season's contestants and other tidbits. Survivor 44 premieres on March 1 with a special two-hour premiere on CBS.

Related: Meet the Full Cast of Survivor 44

Interview with Carolyn from Survivor 44

To start, tell us about yourself.
My name is Carolyn. I am 35 years old. I live in Minnesota. And I am a drug counselor, and I work specifically in the jails.

Why are you here on Survivor?
I've had this dream that I can play this game as myself. I've wanted to do this. I've watched the show since day one. And just hearing so often from people going in there that they're going to be this person, or they're going to hide this piece of themselves. And for me, I'm like, "Gosh, it would just be awesome if I could go out there and be myself and make it far and win." And so that's why I'm here. I want to experience that. I want to be able to play the game and be myself.

I feel like, for so long, I didn't know who I was. And it took a long time; it took me getting sober and just constantly working on myself to realize who I am. I feel like I'm at such a good point in my life right now where I'm just ready. And I want to take that chance to play the game as myself. In a game where I feel like so many people would try to be under the radar or hide so much of them, I want to go in as my authentic self. I want to experience everything!

What's your history with watching Survivor?
So I've watched since day one. And honestly, it wasn't until seeing Noura in season 39 where I was like, "Okay, there are people who are a little bit different who play this game." (Laughs.) Other than seeing Debbie--I thought like she was awesome. But that quirkiness, that weirdness, I didn't feel like I'd be able to like fit in out there. So it was not something that I felt was attainable until I saw Noura. And then, seeing Maryanne win on season 42, it was like, "Oh my gosh, it's possible." And so just watching for so many years and not ever really feeling like there was anybody I could relate to very much, and then seeing Noura and Maryanne, who was her beautiful, authentic self, it's like, "Yes, it's possible. I can do this."

Give me one Survivor winner and one non-winner who you identify with the most.
Okay, I have a few, if that's okay. I'm just gonna…yeah. (Laughs.) So non-winner, I'm gonna go with Noura. Because, oh my gosh, she just had so much fun. And she just went out there, and she didn't even think twice. It was like, "Okay, go to that island. Yup, I'm doing this." She just didn't sit around. Even though she was a little bit sporadic, she was spontaneous, and she was free-spirited, and she had fun the entire time. And that's what I want to do! I want to have fun. I want to take advantage of every moment out there and just soak it all in.

I also think of Drea from 42, who just wasn't afraid to fight. It was like, "Okay, this Beware Advantage. I'm not even going to think twice. I'm opening this." Just playing the game, getting in the blood. I love people who aren't afraid, people who are vulnerable and real and are their authentic selves. That's what I love and can relate to. (Pause.) Oh, and Gabby too! Because of, again, the authentic self, being true to herself, crying. I think a lot of people want to keep those tears in. It's like, "What are people thinking? People are looking at me, and I'm crying." And she just let it out. And I just respect that so much. I don't understand how anybody would play this game and not cry. I've been crying my entire time here so far.

And as far as a winner, I have to go with Maryanne. Oh my gosh, I was bawling when I saw that she won. I was just so proud of her because she was her complete, authentic self, and she won. And that just meant so much to me seeing that before I came out here. It was such an inspiration to me because she was just so awesome, watching her play and have so much fun. And she talks so much, and it's like…ahh! I loved it. Even on days where it was rainy and cold and nasty, she was having fun. And I felt that every single time she spoke, even in the bad times and the good. And I hope that I can do that out there as well. I just hope to be as lovable as her. (Laughs.)

What's your favorite moment in Survivor history?
I'm just gonna go with the first thing that popped into my head. And it was the moment in Ghost Island where Donathan is making fire for the first time. And he looks, and he's like, "I'm just so proud of myself." To me, it's the people who make the show so interesting in their stories. And just hearing his story and where he came from, and hearing him be so, so proud of himself, I couldn't help but feel that and cry with him. It was just a great moment of growth. "Look at me, I'm out here. This is me out of my comfort zone. And I just made fire!" It was inspirational for me. Those moments, the human moments.

What's one life experience you feel has prepared you most for the game?
I would say my battle with addiction. I spent a lot of years not knowing who I was, not liking the person that I saw in the mirror. Addiction is torture on your brain. And I spent so many years in therapy, going and looking at myself, looking at all of the parts that I didn't like or wasn't proud of. And I feel like I did the work to get to where I am today and be a person that I can be proud of. At 35 years old, I'm okay with who I am.

And I know that going into this game, a game where a lot of people are trying to be different things, and they're trying to hide parts of them, I really am gonna go into this with my authentic self. And I feel like there isn't anything that anyone's going to say to me that's any worse than anything I've either been through or I've already said to myself. So I feel like I'm just prepared. I've done the mental work because I know who I am. I know my flaws. And I'm okay with that.

What excites you the most about the new era of Survivor?
(Screams.) Oh my god! Everything! I love all of the twists and the tricks. I really, really hope there's blood. I want to rub it all over and just experience every moment. I love the new era because I feel like it's more of a focus on people's stories. It's why I watch. It's the human moments; it's the stories of the players. And it's everything I love. I am so excited to do the challenges, and if I fall on my face, I'm okay with that too.

I love just the mystery of it and how there's so much that's going to be thrown at me. I'm not ever going to know what's going on. And I'm okay with that. I'm going in so ready and so excited. I want to experience it all. There were so many twists, and I hope there still are. I hope that I find every single advantage and idol; I'm going to be looking under everything. I just want to soak it all in. I want to experience everything. Oh my gosh, I want to hear Jeff be like, "Dig deep!" All of that. (Sighs.) I don't even remember what the question was, but…yeah. (Laughs.)

What do you think people will perceive you as?
Ooh, yeah, I'm prepared for this. (Laughs.) I don't think that I'm gonna be a ton of people's winner picks. (Laughs.) I think people are gonna perceive me as a little bit goofy, spontaneous, and free-spirited. Hopefully, they can see that I'm having fun. But I'm so aware of my flaws. I am aware that I'm loud. I'm aware that I'm goofy. And I'm aware that I'm weird. And I'm aware that a lot of the attributes I possess aren't typical of those that would win Survivor. So I'm coming into this after seeing Maryanne, and I'm like, "There's hope!" But I know people are gonna perceive me as that loud person that's out first or something. And it's not happening! One of the things my son said to me before I came out was, "Don't be too silly, mom." But it's okay to be silly! I want to be me. I don't want to contain it.

What type of player are you looking for in an alliance?
Oh my gosh, I don't want to get my heart broken! So I believe that this game is so human, and above the game is the "humanness" and the connections. I immediately thought of Shan and Liana from season 41 and just that beautiful moment that they shared together, just connecting on a human level. That's what I want. That's what I need in this game, that connection on a human level. Then, okay, I can play the game with you as well. But I want that human connection as well.

And I want someone I can trust. Duh! (Laughs.) Oh my gosh, I'm terrified. I know that stuff's gonna happen. It's the human connection. I value that. I need that. I hope I have at least a few people I can trust and just be open with and honest with. Like the Christian and Gabby type of partnership, Liana and Shan, that's what I need.

How eager will you be to look for advantages in the game?
I don't want to say, "That's gonna be my downfall. I'm not gonna be looking." I don't care. I want to be looking. I know "don't look on Day 1" and all that. But I feel like I want to constantly be aware of my surroundings and what's going on. And so I want to be looking under everything. I want to always have my eyes peeled. And I've been practicing it even while I'm here. A lot of that is stuff that I've been doing for my whole life. It's just that practice of being in the moment, being present, smelling the smells, and looking for stuff that's just a little bit off—just being aware.

I know that I'm just going to be busting out because I'm going to want to be searching and grabbing and touching everything. And I do know, in that respect, I need to pull back a little bit. But I'm gonna be so excited. I'm gonna want to open everything. I'm going to want to touch everything and get everything and dangle it all. I wish I could be out there at every hour searching and looking and opening.

What is the one thing you told yourself you wouldn't do in this game?
I told myself I wouldn't talk badly to myself, if that makes sense. I know that I'm most likely going to mess something up. I watch people in the challenges who make mistakes and are so hard on themselves. I don't want to tell myself, "Oh my gosh, Carolyn, you're so stupid. How did you mess that up?" So I told myself, "Go out there and be proud of yourself, no matter what happens. Don't talk bad to yourself." Because I teach my son that, positive self-talk. It's just so important what we tell ourselves. And I don't want to be on TV as a role model for my son, saying, "I screwed that up. I messed that up." I want to be proud of myself no matter what. I don't want to talk badly about myself.

What's the best advice you received before coming out to play?
That probably came from my son. He said… (Pauses.) Ugh, I'm gonna cry. Well, first, he said, "Mom, you better win immunity, or you're not coming home." (Laughs.) And he's kidding. But he said, "Just remember, it's okay if you cry. You don't have to apologize for how you feel." Because I'm gonna be crying a lot. And I think that just explaining, "Hey, my name is Carolyn. And I'm emotional, and I cry a lot." Just knowing that it's okay. And there were a lot of people who said, "You have to contain yourself. You have to not be so loud." And I just keep countering that with, "I want to be me, and it's okay." So it's a balance.

Can you come up with your own weird phrase that could be said at a challenge to unlock an idol?
(Laughs.) Oh my gosh. [expletive] how much time do I have? "Pumpkins are peaches, and jelly beans are squishy."

What celebrity or fictional character would you want to come out for a Loved Ones visit?
None. I don't follow a lot of celebrities other than Jeff Probst. And I feel like I'm out here with him already! And I'm so grateful. So it's like, "It's done. I'm doing it." I do not follow celebrities. I'm not like, "Oh, Kim Kardashian!" or anything.

Next, check out our interview with Survivor 44 contestant Bruce Perreault.