The meaning of Billie Eilish's 'What Was I Made For', explained by Eilish herself

There’s no doubt “What Was I Made For?” — the song Billie Eilish and her producer brother Finneas contributed to the “Barbie” movie soundtrack — has struck a deep chord with fans.

The melancholy ballad has racked up more than 600 million Spotify streams since its release in July 2023, and it’s also an awards season favorite.

“What Am I Made For?” won song of the year at the 2024 Grammys and a Golden Globe in January for best original song. Now, it's up for an Oscar for best original song.

Eilish, 22, said some people were surprised to hear she was writing a song for the “Barbie” soundtrack, given her music’s usual darker edge.

“I remember everybody being like, ‘What the hell? It’s gonna be a fun, cute, girly, pink movie for the summer and we’re all going to be laughing. What the f--- is Billie doing on the soundtrack?” she told Variety in December. “Why is there going to be a sad song? That doesn’t make any sense.’ And I remember just being like, ‘Guys. It’s not me, it’s the movie. The movie is f---ing sad!’”

It's true that “What Am I Made For?” taps into deeper themes that lie just beneath the movie’s plastic-pink aesthetic: explorations of identity and belonging, and how so many women tie themselves into knots to please others, and yet never feel like enough.

Read on to learn more about the meaning of the lyrics of “What Am I Made For?”, and what the song means to Eilish personally.

The meaning behind the song lyrics of ‘What Was I Made For?’

Eilish has said the first lines of “What Was I Made For?” came to her suddenly during a writing session with her brother and collaborator, Finneas O'Connell, 26, who goes by Finneas professionally.

They had been having a frustrating day with no ideas and were not feeling “creative at all,” Eilish told Jimmy Fallon on the “Tonight Show” in December.

“Then we kind of were like, ‘Well, I guess we could take a crack at this,’ and wrote the entire song in that sitting,’” she told Fallon. “And the first thing we wrote was, literally Finneas sat at the piano and played that first chord immediately, just off the dome.

“And I just started going, “Da da da da…” Eilish added, singing the first few plaintive notes of the song, which would eventually become the lyrics, “I used to float, now I just fall down / I used to know, but I’m not sure now.”

The “floating” image works on a few levels. It was perfect for the “Barbie” movie, Eilish and Finneas have both said, because it represents how Barbie floats gracefully down from her pink house in an early scene, then later falls to the ground as she faces an existential identity crisis.

The “floating” lyric also holds a deep meaning for Eilish, reflecting how she feels about navigating fame from a young age.

“That has so much to do with my life and the way that I view me as I was growing up: I was this person who was could do no wrong in so many people’s eyes, and I felt like everything I did was me floating, and I felt unstoppable and unbeatable, when everything was blowing up for me,” she told Variety.

“And then, things change and you grow, and sometimes you just feel like you don’t know how to float anymore," she added.

The "What Was I Made For?" music video, which Eilish directed, also sees the singer exploring earlier versions of herself. In a creative twist, her character, dressed like a vintage Barbie with a blond ponytail and bangs, examines Barbie-sized versions of actual outfits Eilish has worn in different stages in her career.

Then, wind and rain sweep in, leaving her to scramble to keep all the outfits dry and organized.

The repeated lyrics in the chorus, “What was I made for? / What was I made for?” could resonate with anyone questioning their identity and purpose in the world, Eilish has said.

“I want to dedicate to anyone who experiences hopelessness and the feeling of existential dread and feeling like, what’s the point and why am I here and why am I doing this for?” Eilish said as she accepted an award at the 2024 Palm Springs International Film Awards Gala in January.

She said she has “spent a lot of time feeling that way” and encouraged anyone else who feels hopeless to “be patient with yourself and know that it is, I think, worth it all.”

Eilish has also opened up about the poignant meaning behind another verse: “I’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend / It’s not what he’s made for.”

“That lyric is one of my favorites that we’ve ever written,” the singer told Variety in September. “When we wrote it, I remember being like, ‘God, this is so real for me.’”

While on one level, this lyric could refer to Ken’s inability to understand Barbie in the movie, it’s also about the sadness and loneliness that can arise when people, even loved ones, don't truly see you and understand your feelings.

“I … remember being like, ‘How is anyone going to know what this means? It doesn’t explain itself. No one’s going to understand it,’” Eilish said. “And that was the first lyric that people understood. And I felt so heard, and related to.”

“What Was I Made For?” had a profound effect on fans from all ages and walks of life, judging by some of the comments on the official music video on YouTube.

“I’m crying because this is literally describes how I’m feeling at the moment,” one person wrote in the comments.

“This song asks the question that I have (struggled) with for all of my 68 years,” another person commented. “I thought I had the answer several times, only to realize that it slipped through my fingers yet again. Ms. Eilish, your vocals here are a perfect fit for the emotion of the words and music you’ve written.”

“as a father of 2, and a veteran, i was caught by surprise by the dialogue about life, meaning, and purpose, and this song playing,” another person wrote in the comments. “have not cried in years like that. i am glad my little girls took me to watch this.”

Eilish says she has been blown away by the response to the song.

“You look out and it’s thousands of kids literally bawling their eyes out and singing the lyrics to a song that just came out,” she said in a September video interview with Allure. “It was mine and nobody knew it even existed, and suddenly thousands of people know it and it means something to them, and that’s really priceless.”

She added that writing the song had been “incredibly cathartic” and “incredibly important” for her life.

“Like, even if that song never came out, I really needed to write that song,” she said.

Read the full lyrics to 'What Was I Made For?'

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know, but I’m not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin’ a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I’m not real

Just somethin’ you paid for

What was I made for?

‘Cause I, I

I don’t know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don’t know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

Mm, mm, ah

Mm, mm, mm

When did it end? All the enjoyment

I’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend

It’s not what he’s made for

What was I made for?

‘Cause I, ‘cause I

I don’t know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don’t know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

Think I forgot how to be happy

Somethin’ I’m not, but somethin’ I can be

Somethin’ I wait for

Somethin’ I’m made for

Somethin’ I’m made for

This article was originally published on TODAY.com