I May Destroy You Is Even Better Than I Hoped It Would Be

I’ll admit I didn’t know what to expect from the premiere of HBO’s I May Destroy You—the trailer leaves much to be desired—and if I’m being honest, by the time the credits were rolling, I still had no idea what I’m in for as the series continues. But that’s the magic of I May Destroy You. What begins as an easy-to-follow storyline slowly unravels into something much more complicated and dark—a journey that main character Arabella (Michaela Coel) also experiences as she unpacks what happened after a hazy night out. (Spoilers ahead.)

The British series, written by and starring Coel, begins with a seemingly normal day for Arabella. When we meet her, we learn she’s an author fresh off her first wildly successful book, Chronicles of a Fed-Up Millennial, who’s been staying in Italy with her maybe boyfriend/definite international hookup, Biagio (Marouane Zotti). Before she returns home to London, she makes a feeble attempt to broach the “So, what are we?” conversation, but Biagio brushes her off with, “When I’m ready to call you, I call.” (It’s not so harsh, though: Minutes into her cab ride to the airport, he calls.)

Soon enough, she’s back in her flat and on the phone with her literary agents, who are both anxious to read the draft for her follow-up book…by 6 the following morning. Insisting that it just needs a couple revisions, Arabella sets out to pull an all-nighter in the office. But what starts out as a sincere attempt to finish her pages turns into a frenzied night out after her friend Simon (Sense8’s Aml Ameen) invites her to join him, his cousin, his wife, and, oh yeah, the woman he and his wife are hoping to have a threesome with.

This is where the show takes a turn. Arabella does a little coke, downs some tequila shots from a random guy named David, and the night gets blurry. She barely makes it out of the bar after knocking over a glass and falling to the floor. Somehow, though, she returns to the office. And by the morning, she’s finished her draft and is ready(ish) to meet with her agents to discuss her work.

Except: She’s bleeding from her forehead and pretty out of it. I couldn’t help but cringe with dread as I watched her go from stranger to stranger, trying to find directions that will help her get home. Watching her slowly realize her memories of the previous night are blurry at best is devastating to watch, and every inch of Coel’s performance is completely felt. Once home, she has a flashback: A man, maybe David, thrusting. The episode ends with a close-up of her face, looking confused and horrified, as she begins to process the memory. It’s an expression that screams through the screen.

Sexual assault storylines in pop-culture are prolific, but that doesn’t mean they’re always done right. Just one example of this is the rape of Sansa (Sophie Turner) in Game of Thrones—Turner defended the graphic scene, but fans and critics alike called out the mostly male writers room for including it. Too often, depictions of sexual assault in movies and TV are quickly wrapped up in a neat bow, never to be discussed again. Or, as in the case of Game of Thrones, they’re included solely for shock value.

It’s too early to call, but I doubt that will be the case for I May Destroy You. Whatever happened that night will serve as the catalyst for the entire season, and Coel has a reputation for writing realistic, nuanced stories. (Check out her series Chewing Gum, available on Netflix, immediately.) Also this: In 2018 she explained at the Edinburgh Television Festival that some of I May Destroy You is pulled from events in her own life. “Like any other experience I’ve found traumatic, it’s been therapeutic to write about it,” she said. Yeah, don’t expect a neat bow or shock value here—I May Destroy is here to right the wrongs of HBO series past.

I May Destroy You is now streaming on HBO.

Paulina Jayne Isaac is a writer and editor based in New Jersey. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @paulinajayne15.

Originally Appeared on Glamour