Professional Matchmakers Are Sharing The Secrets And Stories From Their Job, And I Honestly Don't Know Where To Start
Have you ever wondered what the industry of matchmaking is really like? Does it work? What are the matches based on? What are the general ins and outs of the shtick?
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Well recently, we asked professional matchmakers to tell us the secrets and stories from their job, and yeah — safe to say there's more to this career than I anticipated!
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Here are some tips, truths, and everything in between when it comes to matchmaking (according to professionals)!!!
1."We generally look at the age range, lifestyle, appearance, family, and location. Compatibility may sound boring, but it is the base of a healthy relationship."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
2."If you don't plan on listening to the person you have hired to help you with your love life, just burn your money instead."
"The ones who charge more are usually worth the extra value added, but matchmakers are not magicians. Think of a matchmaker or dating coach as a love doctor. Take the medicine, heed the instructions. If it doesn't work, get a second opinion."
—Anonymous
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3."Be humble and challenge yourself. Don't ask for a 6-foot neurosurgeon or an itty-bitty Instagram model if you aren't prepared to do the work on yourself."
—Anonymous
4."Your person is likely in a very different package than you expect them to be in. A good chunk of our success stories are between two people who were either lukewarm after a first date, or who never would have picked one another out on an app. One West Coast-based success story in particular shows that the proof is in the pudding — the guy actually admitted to his now-wife that he once saw her on an app but swiped past her because he assumed that because she was a professor, she would be an education snob. Lo and behold, matchmaking works!"
—Erika Kaplan, Senior Matchmaker at Three Day Rule
5."You can have some people who are compatible and tick all the boxes, but don't work well in a relationship. So we don't just base it on a checklist — we have to use our intuition and years of experience seeing what works."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
6."We got FOUR engagements this month! I love matchmaking. I have been doing it for 15 years. When the right match clicks, it's the most magical feeling in the world."
—Amy Van Doran, The Modern Love Club
7."If you have your bar too high, you'll set yourself up for failure. If the way you picked your partner or the personalities that you explored did not work in the past, we need to take you in the right direction. Some people are less open to our suggestions, but we have to tell them that they need to trust us. The bigger the wish list, the smaller the dating pool."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
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8."Butterflies are actually often a red flag. Most of the time, when we hear about clients coming home from a first date where they felt fireworks and butterflies, it usually crashes and burns. The most successful relationships start with a slow burn. Remember, your job on a first date is to get curious enough to land a second date — not to want to jump their bones!"
—Erika Kaplan, Senior Matchmaker at Three Day Rule
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9."Interests can come and go, but sharing the same core values is key. You don't have to share the same hobbies or like all the activities your partner does. Do you want to date yourself? The truth is, you need time apart to grow. And having your own individuality is attractive."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
10."The biggest secret to matchmaking is it only works if you have reasonable expectations. No matter how much you pay me, I can only set you up with people who want to meet you. If you want to date someone who is bright, beautiful, interesting, or cool, I should hope you possess some of those attributes yourself."
—Amy Van Doran, The Modern Love Club
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11."We get a pretty even mix of men and women."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
12."When I send anonymous profiles to clients for consideration, they often reverse image search the profile photo and slide into the person's DMs on their own. They say they 'don't count that' as a match I found for them!"
—Anonymous
13."The number one predictor of a client's success is if they are willing to date someone who is on their level. A great predictor of someone who is emotionally unavailable is if they come in with a laundry list of attributes they are looking for in a partner that they don't possess."
—Amy Van Doran, The Modern Love Club
14."One of the proudest moments of my career was matching a couple who've now been married for seven years. The (now) wife told me she found her best friend and the hottest guy she'd ever met. I told him, and they officially started dating a couple days later. A few months later, they got married and then proceeded to have a couple of kids."
15."If you're a woman looking for a relationship, you need to be in a positive mental place. If you're in a negative bubble, have dramas with your ex-partner or job, it's not the right time to date. You've got to be happy first. Being positive is attractive."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
16."Beware of anyone who says they have everything you want, because guess what? Literally no one does. The good matchmakers will be realistic and honest with you. They'll give you good feedback on dates and will be invested in your growth and journey."
—Anonymous
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17."I had an amazing client — she was literally from a royal family; a princess. She wanted a specific type of guy and had her eye on an NFL player. My assistant thought it was too far-fetched, but I knew I could do it. I ended up connecting with his agent and got them set up on a date. It didn’t work out as a romantic relationship, but the best part was being able to meet him and see if there were sparks between them. My superpower as a matchmaker is I don’t take no for an answer, so I kept at it until I made the connection. It was a really exciting match/experience and made me realize there are no limits to my work, and I truly believe that!"
—Anonymous
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18."Our success rate is 75% — there have been over 1,000 weddings as a result of our matches."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
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19.And finally: "There's no typical time frame. It really depends on the individual, what type of person they are looking for, and their dating attitude. We had one couple who recently married — he met his match on his first date, while his date had been here 11 months. Some clients stay longer if they feel they want to keep searching and meeting new people, but some find a match on a first date."
—Linda Prescott, Chief Matchmaker at Ideal Introductions
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Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
