Married People Revealed What They Miss About Being Single, And It's Actually Pretty Depressing
Reddit user u/Dramiotic asked the married people of the community: "What do you miss about being single?" Welp, married folks went RIGHT into it, and weren't afraid to admit what they miss about "being free" and the dating world.
So, here are some small but pretty huge things married people miss about being single:
1."The rush of 'firsts' — that first date rush/nervous feeling. Holding hands for the first time, first kisses, the first time having sex with someone. You get a ton of firsts in marriage, too, that make it all worth it, but those are the ones you’ll miss from being single."
"Yesssss. This is so hard for some people to understand — it’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship. It’s just the feeling of firsts is the greatest. Those little adrenaline rushes you get are the best, and cannot be compared to anything else."
2."Not ever having to be accountable for random stuff I do around my own house. It's not like my spouse particularly cares what I do in that sense, but I'd rather no one know I got up at 3 a.m. and was eating ice cream or whatever else."
3."Autonomy — plain and simple. I don’t feel like I have any control over my life or true ownership of anything in my life. I feel like I have to ask permission to do anything, and none of my opinions on how something should be done or how something should look matter. If it wasn’t for the kids, I’d be gone in a heartbeat. Sometimes, I even contemplate just playing along nicely until they are out on their own, and at least having my 50s and 60s to myself."
4."Being on my own time. I wouldn't trade my wife for anything, but having to share a vehicle means neither one of us is ever on our own time. Everything is a scheduling conflict and compromise. It's definitely a first-world problem, but I do miss doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted."
5."The only person I had to clean up after was me."
"I feel like I have a child. Pick your dirty clothes off the carpet, put your used dishes in the dishwasher, and clean your bathroom sink!
He had a house cleaner when we dated — we both work full-time jobs."
6."I love her dearly, but I miss being able to fall asleep whenever I wanted with a sleep timer on the TV. She says I still can, but I know she gets bad sleep if I do. She also doesn’t care for me falling asleep in the guest room, but I sleep so much better that way. So, I try and split the difference and crawl back into our bed before she wakes up when I get up to pee."
7."Being able to come home from work and not speak a single word."
"No, but for real — my husband and I go out of our way to not be in the kitchen when the other one comes home. Something about arriving home to immediate conversation feels like bombardment."
8."Freedom and friends. I feel a 'requirement' to spend most (if not all) of my time at home with my wife and daughter. And it's probably the right thing to do, but I miss being able to just leave and go hang out with friends all the time. Now, I'm lucky if I hang out with a friend once a month. I think my average is once every two months, if not more — it's pretty sad. Also, if you wanna bring your wife and daughter to something, it's not the same. I would be too worried thinking about if my wife is thinking I'm not giving her enough attention, watching our kid, and if my kid is being too annoying around my friends."
9."Not having to justify myself to another adult if I'm getting takeout two days in a row."
"Or hanging out in bed until two in the afternoon on a Saturday without anyone hassling you.
Worrying about that kind of thing would almost make me feel like I was living with my parents again…"
10."Having a shitload of money usable for any purpose *I* want."
11."The lack of responsibility and obligations. I literally used to pack my bags and leave to live and work in a few different countries just because I felt like experiencing the culture. Now, I feel like I have to be careful and stick with my family. I enjoy my family life, but I want to go adventuring again and explore."
12."There’s very little I miss because I picked a great partner, but the thermostat wars are some next-level shit. I just want to be comfortable in my home, and not constantly freezing."
13."Not having to consult with anyone about home decor decisions. I could just buy the curtains, toaster, and patio chairs I like without compromising or considering someone else’s taste or preferences."
14."Having alone time. Like, holy hell, dude: I just want one weekend to be the disgusting, vile, wine-loving bitch that I am."
15."The chase. Flirting with pretty strangers, feeling out the situation, spittin’ game, getting to yes — whatever you wanna call it. Flirting and seduction were a lot of fun."
16.And: "The lack of anxiety around making decisions. I will make weekend plans around what I want to do. I will cook what I want to eat. I will select decorations that please me. I will stay up as late as I want and take showers as long as I want. I will dance around and sing loudly and have my music on. I will have no music and absolute silence. I will starfish on the bed or burrito in the blankets. All my choices will be for *my* happiness, but right now, my choices can/do influence someone else’s happiness."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
