Marriage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh So Hard You'll Fall Head over Heels

Tara Hans
·1 min read

Ah, wedded bliss! Marriage is wonderful: When you get married, you get a built-in dinner-and-a-movie date and a never-ending dose of unconditional love, not to mention another whole family! But marriage is nothing without a healthy dose of laughter. And when it comes to wedded bliss, there's plenty to laugh about! So we've gathered our funniest marriage jokes ever. And we guarantee that no matter your relationship status — from single to married to "it's complicated" — you will not be able to stifle your giggles.

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Now, on to our best marriage jokes:

What's cookin'?

Marriage jokes: Wife says,
Marriage jokes: Wife says,

Marriage is all about compromise

Cartoon of couple in bed with man smushed in mattress and wife saying,
Chris Wildt

And it all begins well before the wedding!

Marriage jokes: There are 3 rings in marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the catering!
Peter Dazeley/Getty Images

Every dog has his day!

Golden retrievers in wedding tux and gown with caption,
TriggerPhoto/Getty Images

A little help?

Marriage jokes: Marriage counselor asks,
Marriage jokes: Marriage counselor asks,

How many throw pillows is too many?

Cartoon of husband on a huge pile of throw pillows and wife saying,
Dan Walsh

Preparation is everything

Marriage jokes: “Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage… they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” —Rita Rudner
Cindy Ord/Contributor/Getty Images

Movie night!

Woman's idea of a cozy movie night in (The Notebook) vs. Man's idea of a cozy movie night in (Rambo)
New Line Cinema/MovieStillsDB.com; Carolco Pictures/TriStar Pictures/MovieStillsDB.com

Ain't that the truth?!

Marriage jokes: Marriage is full of surprises, but it's most just asking each other,
Marriage jokes: Marriage is full of surprises, but it's most just asking each other,

Sign us up!

Marriage jokes: “A man in Canada has pled guilty to trespassing into a home and doing laundry and feeding the owner’s cat. The man is being described by authorities as marriage material.” —Conan O’Brien
Marriage jokes: “A man in Canada has pled guilty to trespassing into a home and doing laundry and feeding the owner’s cat. The man is being described by authorities as marriage material.” —Conan O’Brien

Out of the mouths of babes!

Kids say the funniest thing: My son, Isaac, was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would stop every few feet, put his hands up like claws and roar. The crowd was near tears from laughing, but Isaac couldn’t understand why. When I asked what he was doing, he said, “I was being the ring bear.” —Jeanette Meyer, Cheyenne, WY
Kids say the funniest thing: My son, Isaac, was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would stop every few feet, put his hands up like claws and roar. The crowd was near tears from laughing, but Isaac couldn’t understand why. When I asked what he was doing, he said, “I was being the ring bear.” —Jeanette Meyer, Cheyenne, WY

For even more laughs, click through the links below!

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