Many Paths: What happens when personal and mutual accountability wane?

On April 7, 2022, our family lost a beautiful daughter, Valerie at the age of 40 to cancer. She was kindhearted, talented, creative, hardworking, educated, and yes, a confident independent woman. She faced her personal struggles and challenges in life, and accepted responsibility for her choices.

Valerie took them on and triumphed over them through steadfast faith in Jesus Christ. Let me share another amazing fact about Valerie. She was an only child, but she was never encumbered by that reality, and developed a gracious and compassionate heart for others, especially toward the young folks.

Two of Valerie’s attributes and strengths were her love and respect for her mom. They shared an amazing relationship which was a joy to witness as they shared with great details the recent events of their day. Distance never constrained their closeness nor weakened the bonds of their relationship. The relationship between Valerie and her mom is a tremendous example of how parent and child can grow and flourish together when they commit themselves to personal and mutual accountability.

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In this era of chaos and confusion, we can raise kindhearted, talented, creative, hardworking, educated, confident and independent children who enrich their family, friends and community.

Let’s ask ourselves a few questions: What if personal and mutual accountability was non-existent between mother, daughter and family? Would she have grown up to be the person that I described earlier? Would such a profound relationship and bond have developed between mother and daughter? Would she have matured into the woman that I described to you earlier?

I would have to say, no. Here is the awesome lesson that I learned from my precious baby girl, Valerie.

She wholeheartedly embraced personal and mutual accountability. How do I know? Her mom embodied, lived and practiced them every day for Valerie.

Why do personal and mutual accountability matter? It matters because we are living in an era of lawlessness.

Merrian-Webster defines the word lawlessness as not restrained or controlled by law: unruly; illegal. Personal and mutual accountability is everyone’s responsibility regardless of a person’s economic well-being or lack thereof, creed, or ethnicity. Lawlessness thrives when people reject personal and mutual accountability. Lawlessness thrives when personal and mutual accountability wane.

First, Merrian-Webster defines the word personal, as of, relating to, or affecting a particular person or private, individual. Second, the word mutual means, shared, or joint.

Third, the word accountability is the quality or state of being accountable; especially, an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions. Lastly, the word wane expresses a decrease in size, extent, or degree, dwindle, such as to diminish in phase or intensity, to become less brilliant or powerful, dim or to fall gradually from power, prosperity, or influence.

Now, ask yourself, do believe that lawlessness has taken aim at historic and vital norms? Do you believe that basic human rights are under assault? Your answer, either yes or no, indicates your viewpoint on personal and mutual accountability. Now, let’s shift the focus to our children and their well-being.

The Children's Defense Fund charity is echoing “a clarion call” to each of us concerning the plight of those youngest among us. The data represents children and families of all creeds, ethnicities and economic backgrounds.

The task before us is daunting but we must do all that we can to save our children. We must not settle for roles on the stage of business as usual but as clear-eyed citizens who acknowledge their own shortcomings but find strength in diversity.

My final example for this article occurred on July 5, 2022, as I was heading to the Galesburg City Council meeting. I stopped at the yield sign at the corner of Bridge Ave and Spruce Street.

Suddenly, I was rear ended by a vehicle that I had seen many times in my neighborhood. I stopped the car although badly stunned by the impact.

The driver who hit me suddenly sped off, leaving the scene of the accident. In addition, there was a witness that saw the accident, but they too drove away leaving me alone.

Neither person was an example of personal and mutual accountability. Neither person cared enough about a fellow human being to stop and help. What if I had been critically injured or even died in the crash?

Ask yourself, what was it that influenced their decision to drive away? Both the hit and run driver and the witness to the accident failed their civic responsibility.

What has happened to “if you see something, say something”?

My daughter Valerie’s little cube suffered damage, but the greater tragedy is this: the driver that fled the scene thinks that that they have gotten away and is free, but every person has an inner conscience which records both the good and the bad.

When personal and mutual accountability wane, lawlessness thrives. What if your automobile is hit or rear-ended and the driver speeds off? Would you prefer lawlessness or 100% personal and mutual accountability?

Andrew Jowers a minister in Galesburg.

This article originally appeared on Rockford Register Star: Many Paths: What happens when personal and mutual accountability wane?