Malin Åkerman Opens Up About the One Thing That's Made a Big Difference In Her Mental Health
Mental health has been a lifelong passion for Malin Åkerman. While she never personally suffered from depression, she grew up with a mother who did. "That impacts you as a child," The Proposal actress told Parade in an exclusive interview. "When it's not spoken about, you take it on yourself."
The Heartbreak Kid star remembered thinking, Wow, well, what did I do? whenever her mother would "go down." "Because it was never spoken about until our adult lives, it's been something that I personally have been working on with a therapist and working on opening up and asking for help and being vulnerable with my own friendship groups," she said.
It wasn't until recently that Åkerman realized it's okay to ask for help. "I have really been good at keeping people at an arm's length, but making them feel like I've been there for them, but not sharing as much of myself and actually, just in the past year, I had a little health thing," she shared. "My ear infection and had to go on steroids and that just messed with my hormones. And I went really down into a darker place where a lot of things came up for me and I finally just said, 'You know what, it's time. I'm in a safe place. I have a wonderful husband [Jack Donnelly]. I have a great group of friends, a great family.'"
Åkerman admitted that it was "incredible to feel how powerful vulnerability could be and how powerful it was to ask for help" after she started opening up about how she was feeling in the moment. "I thought at first it would feel like a weakness, but it really started to feel like I had a community all of a sudden," she said. "Everyone was in it. We were all in it together and I was finally part of it now."
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The One Change That Has Drastically Improved Malin Åkerman's Mental Health
When it comes to protecting her mental health, boundaries have been "a big thing" for Åkerman. "I used to always be a yes-sayer no matter what. No matter how tired or exhausted," she said. "People would ask me to do something or invite me out and I would always say yes and now I am putting my foot down, but more to protect my own mental health, my own physical health and just to be more present and available to my son [Sebastian]."
What Malin Åkerman Does on Tough Mental Health Days to Feel a Little Bit Better
Cuddling her son, whom she sweetly called her "true happiness," makes Åkerman feel better on tough mental health days. The mom of one also noted that on those days it's about "recognizing that it's tough."
"I have a wonderful, supportive husband, who sometimes I just say, 'Listen, today I'm just in this space and I think I just need to be in this space and be okay with being in this space and removing myself from any activities,'" she said.
With her husband and son, whom she shares with her ex-husband Roberto Zincone, off together, Åkerman can then take care of herself. "Whether it's a nap or meditation or knowing that it's just gonna be a while and giving myself a moment and then picking up the pieces to be present for the people that need me," she said. "I think it's taking those moments and knowing and understanding when and how, whatever works for you."
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What Mental Health Maintenance Looks Like to Malin Åkerman
Working out is a simple solution and one that puts the 27 Dresses star in a better mind space. Åkerman also shared that mental health maintenance looks like therapy, when necessary, in addition to speaking with friends when she needs them and changing the dialogue in her head. "I feel like we're always our own worst self-critic and we speak to ourselves in ways that we would never speak to anyone else," she pointed out. "And so trying to remember to speak to yourself as if you're speaking maybe to your younger self, to the child within you, so you soften around how you speak to yourself, which is something that I'm trying to practice."
As for what she would tell her younger self? "Gosh, how long do you have?" she quipped, adding, "To each their own, but for me, it's really just that my voice matters and that it's okay to not be okay sometimes. That I don't always have to plaster a smile on my face would be the main one."
Malin Åkerman's Advice to Others Struggling
Åkerman's best tip for individuals struggling is one she received from a friend, who opened her eyes to the power of asking for help. "She just said, "I'll help you. I know you need help right now. But you have to ask for it. You have to be brave enough to ask for it,'" Åkerman said.
The Watchmen actress is encouraging others to do the same and reach out. "So many people are struggling and nobody's talking and that's the problem," she said. "Once you start talking about it, you realize that everyone's in the same boat. Everyone has something that's going on and it just brings us together."
Åkerman suggested, "Call your best friend, your family member, whoever you've got. Talk to a stranger at a bar, whatever is necessary. Go for it. Get it out."
How Malin Åkerman Nurtures Her Child's Mental Health
Åkerman and her son Sebastian check in with each other and talk a lot about feelings. "I try to model it for him as far as saying to him things like 'I'm feeling a little bit off right now and it has nothing to do with you, it's just me and that's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna be fine,'" she shared.
The mom of one revealed that their best moments are at bedtime when they're "laying side-by-side and cuddling"—it's usually when they have deep conversations.
Åkerman has learned that while women are good at talking face-to-face, boys prefer side-by-side. Recalling a parenting coach's tip, Åkerman said, "Have conversations with your boy when you're maybe going on a walk and you're not sitting face-to-face and make it short. And then you can pick it up again a bit later and continue the conversation. Don't make it too long. Short and sweet. Get to the point."
While her son has reacted well to that, Åkerman noted that "everyone's gonna be different and everything's gonna be different for every parent, but that's where you can really go in and check what kind of conversations might be best for you guys."
Malin Åkerman's Work With On Our Sleeves
Åkerman has partnered with On Our Sleeves, a movement for children’s mental health that was created by Nationwide Children’s Hospital. "My mother and I didn't have the tools to have the conversations that we needed to have when I was younger. Now we do. But this is a place where you go in and you have everything you need," Åkerman said of On Our Sleeves, which she started a fundraiser for ahead of her 45th birthday.
The A Week in Paradise actress added, "They have something called Operation conversation, which is just how to start conversations with your kids about really difficult topics. They have resources for teachers, for anybody who's looking to help out and figure out how to talk to kids about hard conversations. So I just thought this is genius. This is wonderful. It's free. It's there. It's accessible to everybody. And I just wanted to be a part of it."
