Making sure everyone at your holiday gathering feels welcome
I remember one Christmas Eve gathering at my nephew’s house in Ogden more vividly than most. My big, boisterous extended family was jockeying for position near the side salads and desserts.
From their facial expressions, everyone was having a great time. But what I heard sounded like a cross between the fake ocean sound you get when you hold a seashell to your ear and the cacophony at a Utah Jazz basketball game.
Lots of noise, but little enlightenment.
That was the year I decided to get hearing aids. And as holiday gatherings approach this year, I’ve been thinking about all the people who don’t hear well and will find themselves, as I did then, feeling out of step with the revelry.
Although the incidence of hearing loss increases with age, there are a lot of younger folks who may struggle, too — and some may not recognize it. The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders reports that about 15% of American adults (37.5 million) over age 18 have some problem hearing — including about that share of those within ages 20 to 69. Men are about twice as likely as women to have hearing loss in that age range.
Thirteen percent of people age 12 or older, or 30 million people, have some hearing loss in both ears when tested using a standard hearing test. And that doesn’t count folks who struggle with tinnitus, which can disrupt hearing.
Among older adults, the numbers are staggering. An estimated 85% of folks 65 and older have lost some hearing range — and as many as 15% of them may test as having normal hearing on an audiogram, even though they have hearing loss. Among those ages 60-65, about 15% have what Brian Taylor, who has a doctor of audiology degree and is a senior director of audiology at Signia, a hearing aid company, calls “communicatively significant” hearing loss.
“A basic hearing test does not always explain why someone is struggling to communicate,” Taylor said.
So a lot of relatives and friends may struggle as conversations volley back and forth in a happy, boisterous gathering.
Taylor says holiday gatherings and conversations around the dinner table can be a lot more joyful and welcoming — whether you get your hearing checked or not — if people make a little extra effort to see that everyone’s included.
The biggest challenge for someone whose hearing falls short is “participating in conversation in a spontaneous way,” he told the Deseret News by email. Gatherings can lead to cascading effects, starting when someone misses part of the conversation and must choose between asking someone to repeat things — sometimes over and over — guessing what was said and maybe getting it wrong or simply withdrawing and not participating.
The person who doesn’t hear well and the person who is asked to keep repeating can both get frustrated and tired. And the more that happens, the more apt someone is to avoid social occasions, which can lead to isolation and loneliness.
Tips to make gatherings inclusive
There are simple things families can do to make sure no one’s feeling left out, said Taylor. “Minimize all distractions, including background noise. Practice good conversational hygiene — make eye contact, don’t mumble, use facial expressions, practice good turn-taking,” he said. “Be patient with older individuals as they often need a few more milliseconds to process the conversation and because of that rely on others to slightly modify their speaking levels, utterance length and the speed in which they speak.”
Related
Untreated hearing loss can create a lot of problems, contributing to cognitive decline, loneliness, depression, risk of falling and physical inactivity, Taylor said. And there’s real risk of losing some of the valuable aspects of life, including connections to others, being active and involved, being productive at work and overall quality of life.
Taylor definitely suggests people get their hearing checked and do something about it if they need help. But there are more options than in bygone years. “These days, there are several smartphone apps and websites that allow you to self-screen your own hearing. For some, that is a great way to get involved in self-monitoring your hearing ability.”
He also notes a range of treatments, from buying hearing aids from a specialist or hearing clinic or online site that offers virtual tele-care to trying over-the-counter hearing aids for mild hearing loss.
“Evidence suggests that early treatment, which usually includes the use of hearing aids, minimizes the risk of acquiring other medical conditions — and keeps people active doing the things that matter most to them,” he said.
Like happy holiday gatherings.
