Main Character Energy: Being the Hero of Your Own Story
The pros and cons of trying to be the protagonist
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Reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS
Main character energy describes a person who lives life as if they’re the main character of a novel or movie. It refers to an attitude toward life in which you invest in yourself and put yourself first. That can be a good thing if it’s used in a way that prioritizes self-care, and many people mean it this way, but it can be a bad thing if taken too far.
Main character energy was made popular during the pandemic when—what else?—a TikTok video went viral. The idea of main character energy has taken Gen Z, in particular, by storm, inspiring a lot of twenty-somethings to live their lives to the fullest and advocate for themselves. If it strays too far into full-on selfishness, though, main character energy can come perilously close to narcissism.
Do you think you have main character energy? And, perhaps more importantly, should you aspire to it?
Characteristics of Main Character Energy
Main character energy is embodied by someone who seems like a fictional film protagonist. According to Shannon Sauer-Zavala, PhD, a clinical psychologist and an associate professor at the University of Kentucky, the primary personality trait of someone with main character energy is extraversion, or the trait of being talkative and assertive.
Extraverts have “the ability to come into a room and hold court, to feel comfortable being the center of attention,” says Sauer-Zavala.
Sauer-Zavala also mentions the trait of being less attuned to the needs of others. That can be a good thing if you're usually one to let the needs of others overshadow your own needs, but it can be a problem if you habitually overlook others in favor of your own POV.
Takeaway
People with main character energy tend to easily get the attention of others when they’re out in public. They aren’t self-conscious, and tend to be self-assured about their path in life.
Benefits of Main Character Energy
One of the major benefits of main character energy, according Sauer-Zavala is feeling like “my needs are important.” For those that need a push to feel that way, developing and improving main character energy can be a positive.
Other benefits include increased motivation and improved confidence. When you feel like you’re the main character, you speak up on your own behalf, set boundaries, and do things that make you happy.
How to Cultivate Main Character Energy
While it may seem impossible for people who are introverts or don’t have big personalities to cultivate main character energy, it can be done. For example, Sauer-Zavala uses the example of telling your friend you can’t help them move because you have a prior engagement.
Takeaway
While it can be hard if you’ve put you own needs aside for your friends in the past, you can experiment with saying no and seeing what happens. Most likely, your friend won't be mad at you, and it won't be the end of the world if they are a little bit peeved.
Other things to do to cultivate main character energy without going overboard include:
Be the main character of your story—not another person’s. Don’t step on another’s toes if they want the spotlight for awhile.
Don’t overdo main character energy. Don’t make everything all about you and forget to give yourself alone time. Main character energy doesn’t have to be dialed to 11 all the time.
Be authentic. When you’re using main character energy, don’t say or do anything you wouldn’t if no one was watching.
See how you affect others. Pause and see how you’re impacting other people or ask them what they think of you and how you handle things. If their feedback is negative, try to give them more consideration in your interactions.
Examples of Main Character Energy in Action
As Britta Grace Thorpe, an influencer and social media manager, shares, people who have main character energy may do things like run down a city street with everyone looking at them or dance in public without caring what others think. Main character energy in action can be a fun and fanciful way of dealing with the world.
Sauer-Zavala provides her own example of using main character energy in her life. She is working on a book on personality change that she’s excited about, and in order to draw attention to it, she has tried to use main character energy to be more self-promoting.
She now has a professional Instagram page, tries to post on X more, and is reaching out to local organizations to give talks about the topic of her book. This is one way any of us can use main character energy as a way to help us get what we want.
Takeaway
Main character energy doesn't have to be obnoxious, overbearing, or narcissistic. A lot of times it can be as simple as making sure you are looking out for yourself.
Are There Downsides to Main Character Energy?
While main character energy can be empowering, there are downsides. Specifically, if you use main character energy excessively to the point that you aren’t letting others have the spotlight once in a while, your main character energy may be more of a main character syndrome. You may even be accused of being narcissistic, fairly or not.
Whether intentional or not, some of the behaviors associated with main character energy may be considered toxic. For example, if you’ve gone to a friend’s party and spend the time taking selfies and constantly turning the conversation to yourself, your friends may grow frustrated with you.
Takeaway
Making room for the experiences of others is vital if you don’t want main character energy to become negative.
Conclusion
If you want to cultivate main character energy, go for it, but make sure you don’t overdo it. After all, while you’re the main character of your story, remember you’re not the main character of anyone else’s. It's important to continue making room for others in your life, even if it means sharing the spotlight once in a while.
Read the original article on Verywell Mind.
