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The 27-year-old Riverdale actress and social media star took to the video platform where she has 6.8 million subscribers to explain her absence after not posting for over a month. In it, she talked about struggling with her "identity" online while navigating life as a public figure.
"I have this fine line of not posting anything too personal that I would consider or deem part of my private life, but also remaining authentic on social media because I think that’s really important to me," she said. "I spent the best part of the last two months really focusing on what this could look like moving forward as an actor in her early 20s on a TV show and trying to juggle all of these things because, let’s be honest, it is quite a commitment to put out a video every week. I didn’t want to let anybody down and so I constantly let myself down instead and maybe put out a video that wasn’t a quality that I love and I’ve promised myself moving forward that I will put out videos when it’s exciting to me and I’m excited about the video."
Petsch emerged as a YouTube creator to share the behind-the-scenes of her life as an actress on a hit CW series. Through posting consistent videos she shared unseen moments with her famous co-stars and even created content with her ex-boyfriend Travis Mills. After years of doing so, however, she explained that she's been wary of giving "too big of a piece of myself away."
The actress and content creator also opened up about the anxiety that she's experienced while attempting to balance so many responsibilities.
"I am somebody who puts an enormous amount of pressure on myself to do everything. And it ends up really hurting me in the long run because I end up with severe anxiety attacks because I’ve taken on way too much," she said. "I’m really going to actively work on not over-committing myself and then ultimately feeling like I’ve underdelivered because not only am I somebody who’s an overachiever and over-committer, I’m also a perfectionist."
Petsch has opened up about experiencing social anxiety and panic attacks in the past, sharing in a 2019 Nylon cover story that she sought out therapy because of it.
"I used to get really bad panic attacks right before I booked Riverdale. Then, I started getting really bad social anxiety, and I only was able to home in on what those things are and work through them [with therapy]," she told the publication, noting that she hadn't put a name to those feelings before.
In her YouTube video she explained that her time away from the platform has been dedicated to doing more of the work that she's found necessary for her own happiness.
"I’ve been absent because I’ve truly been reflecting on the last couple of years. I’m looking back and realizing that I also need to find time to enjoy myself without work and celebrate my successes, which I’m terrible at. I’ve realized I do really enjoy my own company and my alone time and my time offline. If I’m not finding joy in it, I can pretty much bet my bottom dollar that anxiety will creep in," she said. " I’m working on finding a really healthy balance within my life. Hopefully I find it."
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