I’m a Muslim Parent—Here’s How To Prepare Kids’ Teachers for Ramadan

Fasting during school hours and focusing on prayer can be difficult for kids when they don't receive accommodations. Here's how parents can help during Ramadan.

Although American public schools are supposed to be secular, many adhere to cultural practices that align with Christian beliefs—Easter egg hunts for the class and gift exchanges for Christmas. For religious minorities, it can be hard to educate school administrators and educators on the boundaries around non-Christian faiths. This is especially true when it comes to observances like Ramadan, which are more like Lent than Easter. Although it’s a festive time, it’s not exactly a celebration. And because Ramadan lasts the entire ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, the fasting period extends about 30 days, its start and end days vary around the world, and it moves about ten days later with each passing year.

For practicing Muslims, this is the most holy time of the year. Among other country-specific variations, we are expected to fast (no food or drink, including water) from sunup until sundown and to read the holy book, the Quran, from cover to cover by month’s end. We also are called to abstain from sexual activity, arguments, and even speaking ill of others. This period of behavioral change is important for Muslims, but it can be hard to stick to in an environment where we’re the only ones fasting. Imagine how much harder it is for kids.

Trying to act “normal” in school can add a heightened level of complexity for Muslim children observing in classrooms with peers and educators who don’t understand their religion or their age-appropriate practices. Muslim children usually start to fast half-days around the age of 7 or 8, and typically complete full days after puberty. Girls don’t fast during the week of menstruation, and anyone who is sick or traveling can skip fasting days, instead making them up by fasting later or donating to the needy. Even for kids who are not fasting, there may be changes in their household schedule as a result of their parents’ observance—late night and very early morning meals. So, how can parents prepare their kids’ teachers and counselors for the changes that come with Ramadan? There are a few approaches to consider.

How Teachers Prepare For Ramadan

If you’re in this position, then you’re pretty lucky. Likely, you’re living in a city with a large Muslim population, like Dearborn or Detroit, Michigan, New York City (and nearby northern New Jersey), or the DC, Maryland, Virginia (DMV) metro area. In such places, even non-Muslims tend to be sensitive to the needs of their Muslim friends and neighbors during this sacred time.

Fathiyyah Salaam is the Supervisor of Counseling at East Orange Campus High School in New Jersey. She started circulating an online post weeks before Ramadan began on March 11, 2024. Although she didn’t create it, she understood the flier could help socialize adults in her school community around what they should expect from Ramadan-observing kids.

Reminders like hers matter because students (and their parents) aren’t always in a position to explain these evergreen dynamics in the heat of the moment. Also, for new immigrant families, there may be language barriers or other limitations that would make them reluctant to approach teachers directly.

Priming the school community in advance can go a long way. “Unfortunately, students are not entitled to any religious accommodations in school by law or general practice. A school/district has to put [its] own practices in place. [The] crazy thing is NJ state testing is March 11th-15th, the first week of Ramadan. This will be challenging for our Muslim students,” Salaam says.

While some timing conflicts can’t be avoided, most can. Parents can speak up and speak out by taking an active role in the Parent Teacher Association or being vocal with the School Board. These venues are where parents can make minority religious communities’ needs more visible to administrators, especially around the idea of creating a safe space for tolerance during the month of Ramadan. Further, parents can explain their customs more clearly and discuss the variations of observances based on the age of their children and their country of origin. For example, girls who normally do not wear a hijab, or head covering, might do so during this month. Parents can pre-empt any confusion or bullying by reaching out early to school administrators and other parents on their kids’ behalf.

How To Explain Ramadan to Your Child’s Teacher

Still, the fact is that even if administrators know what Islam is in principle, they may not understand what practicing Islam looks like, in all of its forms. The months before Ramadan can be a great time for parents to actively educate the people who spend the most time with their kids.

“Ramadan is a really special time of year that can take a lot of planning between friends, family, prayer, reflection, food, and managing energy levels. With that said, one way to lighten the lift is to create and maintain a highly communicative relationship with the school administrators when you’re not in a busy season; as a developmental therapist, this is a strategy I use,” says Leigh Sims, M.Ed, Developmental Therapist and Founder of EdCoSpace.

As much as it’s not parents of color’s responsibility to teach diversity within their kids’ school community, the nature of Ramadan lends itself to that. This might be a good time to gather with the other Muslim parents and offer to give talks with students and faculty about your family’s practices and how non-Muslims can take part too.

Offering to co-host an iftar, the evening meal where Muslims break their fast, for your kids’ class or age mates provides the opportunity to show—not tell. Each family can explain what kinds of Islam they practice and share their family’s beloved dishes. This is especially fun for the kids who might appreciate seeing how different American-born Muslims’ foods might differ from Bosnian, Indonesian Lebanese, Egyptian, Senegalese, and more. Parents can lead these kinds of positive exchange environments even before they turn their focus to fasting.

“My son is slightly too young to fast, but he is impacted by the fasting schedule and even that slight change can show up as a behavior difference at school,” says Sims. “Teachers appreciate background information so they can use it to support your child in school.  Sometimes you find that teachers or administrators need reminders about how they can support your child within the context of your family, so don’t be afraid to talk about your child’s energy levels, what they can do during lunch or snack time, where they can find a place to pray and even opportunities to talk about how they celebrate the holy month of Ramadan.”

Sims says to keep the format clear, simple, and collaborative. Parents should let teachers know how best to alert them to any changes or challenges, so both parties can work together. “Be sure to leave your best contact information, outside of your email, especially if you expect bigger changes for your child,” she advises.

What Many Muslim Parents Want Teachers to Know

“One of the things that I would love for educators to know is that a lot of these children actually love fasting. For them, it's a celebration, it's a community event. They love to observe it,” says Fatima Abdallah, mom of four and birth doula in northern Virginia.  She says that school administrators sometimes are dismissive of this fact.  “Nobody is forcing their kid to starve themselves,” she says, and school officials shouldn't use language that insinuates as much.

Even when Abdallah told her nine-year-old that she didn’t have to fast, her daughter insisted. Not only can flippant remarks from a role model truly undermine a kid’s own agency, but judgy undertones can imply that parents are being abusive or coercive toward their kids.

Fasting is not meant to be a form of punishment so educators must be cautious with casual expressions of sympathy or sorrow around a kid changing his or her behavioral patterns during this particular month. Many tweens are proud to fast, as it is part of many Muslims’ coming-of-age experience. Of course, if the child becomes sick or unwell, school staff should consult the parents immediately and take all necessary precautions. But, if the situation is more about fitting in with their class, educators should be cautious about how they frame the situation.

It is also insulting to tell kids that they can “cheat” (i.e., eat or drink during the day)  because their parents or others won’t know. The holy month of Ramadan is meant to strengthen one’s own relationship with Allah, an all-seeing and all-knowing God. These kinds of situations might arise when a student chooses to sit out intense sports because they can’t play safely without rehydrating. Parents want faculty to respect the child and their family-supported decision, even if it means that the kid can’t participate in recreational activities. School leaders can help by offering reasonable alternatives.

Educators and faculty can get creative about accommodating fasting children. “Let them go play out on the playground during lunchtime instead of sitting in the classroom.  Give them the option to go to sit in the school library…while other children are having their lunch,” Abdallah suggests. Sims says she lives in a city with many local education agencies (LEAs) and each has its own policies. “As far as supporting a fast, I’ve seen school policies for very young children, where the child may refuse to eat but they must be served.”

Situations like this can lead to animosity between parents and educators, but open disclosure about faculty requirements can help parents teach their kids how to navigate schoolhouse experiences during this month.

Keep Communication Open

It's always best—for parents and teachers alike— to have an open dialogue where questions can be asked.

“I’d reach out to the librarian to display books or have a reading session with a lesson. Another avenue, especially if there isn’t a librarian, is the parent organization, dean of students, or counselor at the school. I’m also a big fan of facilitating a connection with someone who is a leader in the religion or culture, so any questions can be answered by them directly,” says Sims.

When Ramadan culminates in Eid, educators can talk to kids about their excitement. It's a one-day blitz—for kids, this feast day can feel like a birthday, Christmas, and Thanksgiving all wrapped up into one. It is a really exciting day when kids might take an absence from school to celebrate with their families or communities of origin and a lovely opportunity to share their joy.

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