I’m Afraid To Buy This New Trader Joe’s Snack (Because I Won’t Be Able To Stop Eating It)

Someone is after my own salty-sweet heart.

There’s no doubt there are some absolute masterminds behind the products at Trader Joe’s, but a recent product discovery made me wonder just how actively they’re reading my mind. On my last Trader Joe’s run (searching for all the latest summer finds) I saw my kryptonite: A snack food so delicious-looking, and so tempting that it made me fearful of my own self control. It’s called Snacky Clusters. 

Anything that starts with “snacky” sounds adorable and harmless, right? Well, just listen to this description: Sea salt potato chips, corn chip dippers, and mini pretzel nuggets, all fused together with a coating of milk chocolate. You’ve got to be kidding me.

These bite-sized chocolatey clusters exist right on the cusp of candy and cookie, and are perfect for everything from picnic treat to summer sleepover snacks. They have the salty-sweet perfection of the old-school TJ’s Chocolate-Covered Potato Chips that were devastatingly discontinued, but with even more crunch and texture.

I'm sure the crispy, crunchy combo would be nothing short of delightful, but so delightful, I worry, that it would take all of my money and leave me with nothing to show for it by the time I exited the parking lot. 

In fact, my suspicions were confirmed by this taste tester on traderjoesreviews.com: “These are SO good–too good, in fact, because I can’t stop eating them!,” they write. “Very hard to just have a few pieces at a time.”

The store's description poses them as the perfect solution to the "salty-sweet snacking cycle." But, even the writers for TJ's admit, "Of course, it’s possible that we may have inadvertently created a new snacking cycle that goes like: Trader Joe’s Snacky Cluster, followed by another Trader Joe’s Snacky Cluster."

The “sweet, salty, and crunchy clusters of chocolate” retail for $3.99, but notably do not include a warning on the label. All Trader Joe's would need to do is add some chewy caramel bits, and you wouldn’t see me for days. 

Another related newbie in the seasonal snack lineup is Trader Joe's' S’mores Clusters, which are mini marshmallows and graham cracker mounds covered in milk chocolate. These are decidedly for the all-sweet snack lovers, but are definitely up there as a top-tier summer snack. 

So please, try this product at your own risk and report back to me on the absolute deliciousness it brings into your lives. As for me, I’m just hoping this crave-worthy snack is out of my line of sight on my next TJ’s run.