For the first time since the college admissions scandal broke and her parents, Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli, were duly charged with felonies, Olivia Jade Giannulli returned to YouTube vlogging on Sunday, telling her 1.94 million subscribers: "I'm terrified to make this video and to come back," but also vowing to resume with her regularly scheduled content (beauty tutorials and new outfit hauls, usually) soon.
In a quick, two-minute vlog filmed somewhere that is not her former USC dorm room, the 20-year-old influencer largely danced around the past eight months of news, including the charges of money laundering, conspiracy to commit mail fraud, and bribery that her parents face for allegedly paying $500,000 to pass off Olivia Jade and her sister, Isabella, as crew recruits.
"Obviously, I’ve been gone for a really long time and as much as I wish I could talk about all of this...just because I know that it’s something that needs to be addressed...I’m legally not allowed to speak on anything going on right now," Giannulli said.
For that very reason, she said she debated long and hard over when, if, and how, to return to YouTube. "A part of me is like, should I come back to YouTube right now ‘cause it’s been so long and I actually really, really miss it...I feel like a huge part of me is just not the same, because this is something that I’m really passionate about," she divulged. "Is there a point to me coming back and not being able to say anything? I want to come back because I want to come back."
The vlog seemed to be a first step toward addressing the elephant—er, the rowing machine?—in the room, paving the way for Giannulli to return to less contentious topics soon. "The moral of the story is I’ve missed you guys so much, and I’m just really excited to start filming again and to start uploading," she said.
Originally Appeared on Vogue