We all know 2020 was a wild year, but comedian London Hughes made the most of it. In October the 31-year-old filmed her debut Netflix special, To Catch a Dick, which is now streaming to rave reviews. As she relates a so-wild-it-must-be-true history of her romantic and sexual exploits, Hughes expertly weaves together insightful commentary and really, really, really funny jokes.
Finding joy—and safely filming an entire stand-up special about it—is itself an impressive feat in these dark times, but Hughes has her stamp all over Netflix. Catch the comedian's hilarious perspective on expletives like damn and shit in Nicolas Cage's A History of Swear Words, now streaming. And her weekly commentary show The Netflix Afterparty, which she cohosts with David Spade and Fortune Feimster, is another bright spot you can find on the platform. Up next: She's working on a comedy for Universal that she'll star in called Hot Mess.
All this came after she moved to Los Angeles from the United Kingdom just—and I mean just—before the coronavirus forced everyone into lockdown. “I arrived a few weeks before the world went crazy,” she tells me over the phone. “When this is over, I'm going to be doing everything I was supposed to do. I'm going to every club that Kim Kardashian has ever visited. I'm going to be calling the paparazzi on myself. I'm going to live my best life.”
But if you watch To Catch a Dick, you'll know that London Hughes is living every day like it's her best life. Here she opens up about the surprising response to her special, the worst thing she's done on a date, and what it was like filming a kissing scene with the duke from Bridgerton for Glamour's Inappropriate Questions. Read on.
Glamour: I’m curious: Have you had anyone sliding into your DMs since your special came out?
London Hughes: Have I had any one? I've had a whole species! My DMs look like the United Nations of dick right now. I have guys DM'ing me from Italy, Brazil, Venezuela, Denmark, Taiwan, Australia, Canada, America. I had a pastor from Atlanta DM the hell out of me. I was like, “Sir, you're a pastor!”
I expected the men. I didn't expect the women. There are girls right now from Russia that are like, “Oh my God, you're living the same life as me. I can relate so much.” It's so crazy. I didn't realize how universal dick really is. I'm getting messages from women and men all over the world about To Catch a Dick.
Aside from that pastor, which DM stood out the most?
This guy asked me to join him and his wife for a threesome. And then his wife messaged me as well, to make sure I knew that it was totally fine. I politely declined. Thanks for the offer—flattered but, you know, COVID and everything.
So far everyone's been really sweet. There have been no dick pics. I thought there would be an influx, so I was too scared to even look at my DMs the day after the special dropped. I thought it would be dicks everywhere, but guys have been very polite.
That weirdly gives me hope for humanity. So before COVID, what was your preferred method for meeting people?
I'm an old-school girl. I like to meet people in real life. Before COVID you'd see me at a bar or a club, getting dates that way. All my friends did the dating-app thing, but I feel like dating apps lie. You can meet the most charismatic, charming, fun person via text message. But then when you meet them in real life, it's just dead and dull. I was matching with guys on dating apps and then in real life they just didn't have the je ne sais quoi I thought they did. So I steered clear of dating apps. I am on Raya, which is a celebrity dating app that's terrible because the type of guys on there are waiter-slash-DJs. It's just weird.
I miss my old life. I'm literally thinking my vagina has gone into rehab. It's just going through it right now because it's been on lockdown. She's just sorting her life out and reflecting on what a year it's been. Hopefully, in 2021 she'll be back out and catching dick again.
In your special you talk about bad dates you’ve had, but what’s the worst thing you’ve done on one?
I'm actually quite good on dates. I guess the worst thing I've done is leave halfway through when he went to the bathroom.
Yeah, I ghosted. That's the worst thing, and that's not even that bad! That's just standard behavior. The chemistry was off, and the picture on his dating app was definitely of him about seven years before I met him, so he lied. I remember thinking, Ugh, I could make a run for it or I could sit through all of this and waste my life. We've only got one life to live, so I made a run for it. I texted him after to say I had a family emergency.
On the flip side, what’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for a partner?
I am the romance queen. My ex-boyfriend was really into nature, but we lived in London, where there's hardly any of that, so he never got to see the countryside. So for his birthday I made him think I was taking him to a restaurant for drinks, which he kind of hated because he didn't like the club scene. I picked him up from work in my car and drove him to the countryside, where I rented a cottage for four days that looked just like the one in the movie The Holiday. I also called up his work beforehand and got him the time off that he didn't know about, and I got us a chef. We had a great time.
That’s incredible. I want that!
Thanks, babes. I can't believe I'm single! I'm such a good girlfriend. I'm a romantic, and my love languages is gift giving and experiences. I'm that kind of a chick.
So what’s your type?
I always say my type is nerdy, skinny white guys. I don't know why, but I see a skinny, nerdy, frail-looking Pete Davidson kind of guy and I go, “I want to look after you. You look like you need nurturing.” But they're not really my type; they're just my kryptonite. My actual type is men with confidence—real confidence, not that fake masculinity bravado. Oh, I love it. I love me a confident man.
You’re alone in bed and about to fall asleep. What are you thinking about?
Should I masturbate or not. Like, can I be bothered? Before I go to bed, I'll think, Should I have a wank? And then, before I finish the question, I'm already asleep. I do like to manifest good dick. When I'm in bed, I'll think about my future boyfriend and sex with hot guys. That's what I manifest before I go to bed.
What would you say is the sexiest thing about yourself?
I would say the sexiest thing about myself is my personality, but some will argue that is the most annoying thing about myself. But I think it's sexy!
Do you have a favorite movie or TV sex scene?
So this is a fun story: I did a sitcom in the U.K. that never got made, but I had my first-ever love interest and my first-ever kissing scene. And it was with Regé-Jean Page, who plays the duke…
[Laughs.] So me and Regé are really good friends, and he was my first love interest on camera. And now, seeing him do sex scenes…he's a friend of mine, so I never saw him in that light. But I don't know if it was the pandemic or whatever, because I know him, but seeing those scenes brought out something in me that was not previously there before. So, yes, the duke and duchess's scenes in Bridgerton are currently my favorite sex scenes, because I've had experience.
May I ask how it was to kiss him?
He's a good kisser! It was great. Not a bad day at work at all. It's so funny because he's such a talented actor and a really good friend of mine. We both started out around about the same time in the U.K. My Netflix special came out three days before Bridgerton, so we were messaging each other, like, “We both got billboards up at the same time! And we're both on Netflix at the same time!”
Obviously he's gone on to be a huge star and is now tipped for being the next Bond, and I'm still the funny girl talking about dicks. But it's really insane seeing your friend go from, like, 10,000 followers to a million and a half in three days. He's so sweet and lovely and the best actor. He made me feel so secure about the kissing scene. I'd never done one before and had a mild asthma attack, and he was such a professional. He's the best.
I don’t know how to even follow that story up. Let’s end with this: Do you have a dating or relationship rule? Or do you think that’s B.S.?
You know, I have rules and then I break them all. Back before I was on Netflix, when I was in the U.K., my rules were: Never date a guy that still lives with his parents, never date a guy that doesn't have free parking outside of his house, and never date a guy with a single bed. And I've dated all of them. [Laughs.]
I dated a guy who lived with his mom, had a single bed, and didn't have free parking outside of his house, and I was with him for three and a half years. I have rules and I break them, so I think they are probably B.S. My rule now is that I can't date a guy who makes significantly less money than me. I can't do it. I'll pay for my lifestyle, that's fine. But if I'm having to pay for your lifestyle too? Wow. You need to be making your own money.
Anna Moeslein is the senior entertainment editor at Glamour.
Originally Appeared on Glamour