People Are Sharing The Secrets They've Kept From Their Roommates, And I Really Hope These People Don't Live Together Anymore
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We asked members of the Buzzfeed Community to reveal their "wildest roommate" stories but with an added twist. We weren't looking for stories about a roommate, we were looking for confessions from the perspective of the wild roommate. These riveting anecdotes that were shared did not disappoint and contained a certain level of drama and intrigue I would normally only expect from a Lifetime Movie or Colleen Hoover book.
The Jackal Group / Tidying Up With Marie Kondo / Via giphy.com
Get the popcorn poppin' and get ready to be entertained. Here are the juiciest responses that will have your jaw on the ground and your wig on the moon:
1."I slept with my current roomate's dad without knowing he was her dad, and that's not all. I also slept with her brother when he was visiting recently. She has no idea. A week ago I took a test and realized I'm pregnant and everyone just thinks its my boyfriend's, so we're getting married in May. The thing is that I did the math and I'm not sure whether it's my roomie's dad's or her brother but I'm sure it's not my boyfriend's."
—Anonymous
NBC / Via giphy.com
2."When I first went to university, I was put in a randomly allocated house share with five other students. I’m pretty quiet and definitely not into the party lifestyle but do enjoy the occasional party or drinking session, but my new housemates took this to a whole new level. In the first week of university, they advertised a house party to the whole university freshers group (1,500 students) on Facebook. Needless to say, the party got wildly out of control and someone called campus security to break it up."
"They ended up getting in real trouble and almost got kicked off our course. Little do they know, it was me who called campus security and almost lost them their place on their courses."
3."I shared an apartment with two other girls, H and M. They shared a room and I had my own. H had a boyfriend, B. They would have sex at nearly any point during the day which was awkward because I never knew what I would be walking in on. Well, one day I'm upstairs just doing homework and gazing out the window. I see H leave to go to her class and her boyfriend, B walk off to his apartment. Then, our other roommate M pulls up and B comes back. Then, they both started having sex! I was absolutely flabbergasted!"
"They were going at it for what seemed like hours and then they both left. When H came back she called B over and then THEY started having sex again! To make matters worse, he used to hit on me whenever his girlfriends were out of earshot. Eventually, I finally snapped and said, 'I know you can handle screwing two girls at the same time but can you handle three?' He started taking the girls to his own place after that."
—Anonymous
Kinetic Content / Married At First Sight / Via giphy.com
4."In college, I had several roommates in my years. The last set I had was a living arrangement of five people in a three-bedroom house. four guys, one girl. I’m not proud to admit this, but I stole something different from all of them. Took one’s medication, everyone’s food, one’s girlfriend, and another’s sister. For what it’s worth, I put the electric bill in my name?"
—Anonymous
5."I'm the reason my college roommate was kicked out of our degree department. This is gonna be long because of the backstory. 'J' and I met freshman year of college and hit it off. We decided to room together and got into a cool suite right across the hall from J's boyfriend. They argued CONSTANTLY, and I'm not just talking like little arguments, these were full-blown screaming matches that would drive me out of our shared bedroom and I'd have to stay at a friends' suite. It was awful. They also had sex in our shared room when they thought I was sleeping — the heads of our beds literally touched, so it was pretty gross to be that close to them doin' it. They were on-again-off-again that entire year. They broke up seemingly for good right before the next year, and so I agreed to room with her junior year as well."
"I WAS A FOOL. They were together again by the time the fall semester started. She was so possessive over him that she started badmouthing other girls in our department that he was working on projects with, calling them terrible names to everyone behind their backs, insinuating that he was sleeping with them....it was so, SO toxic and it was making me so stressed. Finally, I couldn't take her toxicity anymore and I reported the whole thing to our department head. She came home the next day in tears, shrieking through her sobs that she'd been kicked out of the department and leaning on me for support. I sat there with her while she cried and I faked outrage and shock. We lived together for the rest of that year, and she never knew it was me."
—Anonymous
6."A friend I roomed with in college turned on me, and for whatever reason tried to tell the RA that I was abusive to her when I was almost never around. Also, they hid their weed in tubs under my bed, and their side of the room was a constant pile of clothes, bags, and random stuff. After things came to a head and we had a screaming match in front of my boyfriend, he waited til they’d left and then took it upon himself to pee in their mouthwash bottle."
"The next time I saw them with the bottle when they went to brush their teeth was probably the best day of the semester."
Gracie Films / 20th Television / The Simpsons / Via giphy.com
7."I lived in a house with other women and there was one girl we called 'the ghost' because she would disappear for like 1–2 weeks then show up for one night then be gone again. We joked about what things were in her room because the homeowner's dogs were constantly trying to get into the ghost's room. Well, one day, and I'm not proud of this, one of the other girls and I got curious. We said we would just open ghost girl's door and peek in but when we did, we heard noises coming from the closet."
"What was in the closet? A pet rat. We weren't allowed to have animals in the house. This poor rat was alone for 1–2 weeks at a time. We would have totally cared for it if we had known it was just sitting in the closet all alone!"
8."Not really scandalous but still a secret. My amazing college roommate was a die-hard vegan. I’m talking all natural, no type of products that would harm the environment. Didn’t even produce trash or own a car. One day we were walking to our classes together when I saw this adorable frog just sitting on the curb. My roommate was a huge reptile lover (we shared our room with her mini ball python) and I knew she would be really excited to see the little creature. Just as I was about to point him out she took a step and smushed the poor guy. Completely splattered him."
"I started to scream and she had no idea why. It was definitely traumatic but I covered it up by saying I thought I saw a cockroach. She started to look down, noticed the splatter and asked me what I thought it was. Knowing it would devastate her, I feigned ignorance and said someone dropped some food while trying to hold back tears.
She’s the best person and I've missed her dearly since graduating. Will take it to my grave."
9."I had two roommates, a guy and a girl. For the guy's birthday one year, he decided he wanted us all to go out of town, but the girl got sick, so it was just the two of us. We got drunk, ended up hooking up that night, and kind of decided to be friends with benefits after that. I lived with them for another year and half, and he and I were still hooking up. She never found out.
HBO / Via giphy.com
10."In my 20s, I lived with two roommates. They were huge potheads (the kind where weed is king but all other drugs are bad) but it was a good living situation and we got along well. During that time, I was dating this guy, and frequently our nights out together would involve cocaine (secret #1). Occasionally we would stay in and do heroin in my bedroom (secret #2). One time we thought they'd be out for the night so we were in the living room, and had our stuff out on a plate. When they walked in, my boyfriend quickly and casually covered the plate with a newspaper."
"They joined us for a bit to chat, I had one eye on that plate the whole time. They would have been horrified to know what was just a couple feet away from them... I can't really blame them but I also don't regret it or that time in my life, though."
—Anonymous
11."I lived with this girl for a couple years. She had a long-term boyfriend, and even though he was over a lot, it was chill. He would always talk to me, and at first I thought he was just being friendly, but then that internal radar that every woman has started going off and I wondered if he like-liked me. He never crossed the line into outright flirting or anything inappropriate so I would wonder if it was in my head — but a woman always knows. I began to wonder if my roommate noticed. She had to have, right? They ended up breaking up not too long before I moved into my own place and we all lost touch. A couple years later a phone number I didn't know started texting me, and it was him. He wanted to 'catch up'."
"We met up for what I guess was a date? You know, a 'let's catch up and get drinks' kind thing which could go any way depending on the vibe. Well, it went well and he came back to my place and we slept together. Even though by that point he and my former roommate had been broken up for two years AND she and I were no longer living together, I know she would be pissed if she ever found out."
—Anonymous
12."When I was 19, I agreed to rent a place with two friends of mine, Norman and Rupert, and Norman's ex, Julia. When Julia moved in it was apparent she was still OBSESSED with Norman, and was convinced that Norman and I were romantically involved. She would listen through the heat vents and hide around corners to try and catch us in the act. The secret was that Norman and I had a friends-with-benefits arrangement going on before we even became roommates, and it totally carried on after we moved in."
"Rupert was aware, and said nothing. Things cumulated in a threesome between Norman, Rupert, and myself before we all went our separate ways with Julia none the wiser, by then believing me to be one of her best friends."
Universal Television / Murder, She Wrote / Via giphy.com
13."My senior year of college, I lived in an off-campus apartment with three others — two guys, one girl. The other girl and one of the guys were together, but me and the remaining dude were not. There was always some weird sexual tension between that roommate and I, but we never did anything about it. The couple got engaged, married, went on their honeymoon (all in the span of like three or four months. Wild, but that's beside the point!). Their honeymoon was a month-long trip to Italy, so while they were gone it was just me and the guy and we, let's just say, did something about the tension, almost every night...FOR A MONTH.
"And it was really, really good but we don’t match at all so we wouldn’t make a good couple and we’ve both recognized that. Sooo…it’s almost a year later, and we still haven’t told anyone or spoken of it since…but hey, it was like the best hookup(s) of my life. 10/10 would do again."
—Anonymous
14."My roommate and I never got along. At one point he accused me of stealing food from him when I didn't, typical minor problems roommates face when living with each other for the first time in a tiny dorm. One day I met up with my best friend at a restaurant. I saw this couple sitting on the same side of a booth, absolutely going at it with each other — tongues in each other's mouth, hands underneath the other's clothing, etc. I was thinking to myself 'Man, this girl looks familiar.' She eventually turns her head around, and I see it's my roommate's girlfriend!"
"The look on her face was priceless when we made eye contact with each other. I didn't mention a single word to my roommate about what I saw. If he had made an effort towards being a nicer person I would have said something, but since he wasn't, you're on your own pal!"
—Anonymous
MTV Entertainment Studios / Basketball Wives / Via giphy.com
I hope these secrets confessed by roommates had you gasping as much as I was reading them. Reality television can only dream of capturing this level of action. Even though I've gotten a good fix of theatrics from these stories, I'm always ready for more chaos. Please leave your stories in the comments, because I would love to hear them!
SNL Studios / Via giphy.com
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
