Lili Reinhart opens up about mental health struggles: 'I couldn't see the light'

Photo credit: Toni Anne Barson - Getty Images
Photo credit: Toni Anne Barson - Getty Images

From Cosmopolitan

Lili Reinhart has opened up about her experiences struggling with poor mental health.

Talking to Refinery29, Lili discussed how her battle with depression began as a teenager while struggling to find acting work and "being told no". “When I first moved to L.A., my anxiety was so bad that I was throwing up every night", she said.

Opening up about how her depression felt, Lili described feeling like she was in a "black tunnel [that] was never going to end."

"I couldn't see the light. I was like, 'I feel like I'm dying'. It was f*cking rough, and there's no other way through it than just through it. I've seen a lot of people when it comes to heartache and grief and breakups, and they try to get that void filled with sex, with coke, with food, with drinking, [but] the void is still there. I took the road less traveled and just dealt with my shit. I had to face my own pain head-on."

Addressing her recent mental health, the 23-year-old continued, "The last couple of months have probably [been] the most emotional few months of my entire life. And my therapist [told] me, ‘Your body's going through withdrawal from love. You're used to having this exchange of happy chemicals between you and the person that you're with.’

Photo credit: Matt Winkelmeyer/MG19 - Getty Images
Photo credit: Matt Winkelmeyer/MG19 - Getty Images

"In moments of my life, I have dropped every ounce of pride that I had just to be like, 'Love me. Please take the pain away for a day, a second, an hour, just so I can feel that fix again'."

While Lili says she is still healing, she is looking forward to her first poetry book, Swimming Lessons, coming out at the end of September. She is apprehensive, though, about people interpreting the book as her spilling details about her relationship. "I felt the need to write that because I was scared—and I am scared—that people are going to try and create their own idea of what my love life looked or looks like,” she said. “I'm not saying, 'My boyfriend fucked another woman'. I'm saying, 'I felt betrayed'.”

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