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You shower every single day—why not take advantage of all that naked alone time with a little shower masturbation?
It may seem as simple as rub-a-dub-dubbing, but much like partnered shower sex, there’s a bit of a learning curve with solo shower sex. After all, you have to (nay, get to) spend a little time learning the right no-slip positions, experimenting with different angles, and find your fave waterproof toys, and so on.
Don’t worry, it’s worth the effort—particularly if you live with a roommate, kiddos, or your parents. “The shower is one of the most private places there is,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, an associate professor of Human Communication Studies at California State University and a relationship coach with Luvbites.co. Not only can you lock the bathroom door to ensure you won't be interrupted, but there's no need to worry about making any noise because any buzzes or moans will be drowned out by falling water.
And assuming you haven’t hopped in on the cold shower trend, the shower is also hot. “The heat from the shower can help relax you emotionally, as well as your muscles physically,” adds Suwinyattichaiporn. Considering work, family, and relationship stress are the biggest climax blocks ever, she says that some people may actually be able to reach orgasm more easily in the shower than in the bedroom.
Meet the experts:
Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, is an associate professor of Human Communication Studies at California State University and a relationship coach with Luvbites.co.
Gigi Engle is a certified sex coach, sexpert with SKYN Sex & Intimacy, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life.
Jessica O'Reilly, PhD, is a sexologist and host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast.
Taylor Sparks is a sex expert and founder of Organic Loven.
Another bonus? It’s legit impossible to make a mess. So while the threat of yet another load of laundry might keep you from squirting with abandon or adding as much lube as you need to achieve the most pleasurable sensation out of the shower, inside it those fears are unfounded.
To get you started, here are some super sexy ideas to help you steam up your solo time in the shower.
1. Outfit your space.
To be blunt, babes, it’s going to be tricky AF to relax into pleasure if you’re nervous about falling the entire time. That’s why Gigi Engle, certified sex coach, SKYN Sex & Intimacy Sexpert, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life, recommends preparing your space with a shower mat, hand rail, and/or shower seat.
“A shower mat with ribbing will help you reduce the risk of falling big time,” she says, especially if you lather up with lube while you play (more on that in a sec!).
2. Put on your sex playlist.
“Arousal is a full sensory experience,” says Engle. Meaning, the more senses (sight, sound, taste, smell, touch) you can ignite during your solo time, the better it will be.
Whether you have a go-to sex playlist or want to make one for this special sudsy occasion, grab a bluetooth speaker or your phone and blast it. “Playing music will also help drown out the noise from outside the shower, which can be distancing,” she adds. Truth!
3. Turn the lights down low.
You've already done the sound check, but here's another way to activate and arouse your sense of sight. After all, you already know low lighting helps to ~set the mood~ whether you’re having traditional sex or masturbating, and the same is true for shower masturbation. If your bathroom has those not-so-sexy overhead lights, try lighting a few candles or only turning on one light for a bit more romance.
4. Take a seat.
Have you ever had an orgasm while standing? If not, it may be tricky for you to climax while supporting yourself on your two feet. After all, the body gets used to orgasming the same way every time, says Engle.
So while standing is a fun way to way to mix things up, if you’re having a hard time feeling really good, sit your ass down on the tub or shower seat. You may have more luck orgasming from a more relaxed, seated position, she says.
5. Play with the water temperature.
Ever heard of temperature play? It involves using various temperatures to help your body enjoy as many different sensations as possible, and you can try it in the shower.
“Run a warm shower, and press your frontside against the cold wall while touching yourself,” says Jessica O'Reilly, PhD, sexologist and host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. “Let your clitoris respond to the sensations of the cool wall and the hot water in succession.”
6. Use lube.
If you had to describe showers in one word you’d probably say they’re wet, right? Well, contrary to what you may think, that oh-so-drippy wetness interferes with any wetness your body naturally produces. “The water rinses away vaginal lubrication,” explains Suwinyattichaiporn.
Your move: Use a little store-bought lubricant. "Oil and silicone-based lubricants work best in the shower" because they have more staying power than a water-based lubricant, which easily washes away under the stream, says Engle.
That said, “silicone lube isn't compatible with silicone toys,” says Engle. So, if you’re incorporating a silicone-based sex toy, it’s best to use an oil-based option.
7. Get your grind on.
PSA: There is no wrong way to touch yourself! So if you’re short on time, go ahead and stick with your tried-and-true methods. However, if you’re feeling a little experimental, O’Reilly suggesting trying out a solo sex position known as the hand grind. Why? Two words: Clitoral stimulation.
Sit back against the edge of the tub—ideally so your back is able to lean against the shower wall—and slather your hand in lube, she says. Then, “press all five fingers along the length of your lips, and pull up an inch or two before sliding back down,” she says. “Press against your hand with your hips, allowing your fingers to increase the speed of grinding as your arousal heightens.”
8. Invest in a suction dildo.
As you might guess, a suction cup dildo is a (usually silicone) phallus that has a suction cup on the back of it that you can attach to the wall or the surface of the tub. “You can adjust the angle, height, and, of course, the rhythm and depth to suit your needs,” says O'Reilly.
Need a rec? Invest in a suction cup dildo like the Avant Hot 'n' Cool Dildo. "It has a very strong suction cup that will stick to the bottom of the tub or shower," explains Taylor Sparks, sex expert and founder of Organic Loven.
9. Get wild with a waterproof vibrator.
A suction cup dildo isn’t the only shower-friendly sex toy! “There are also waterproof vibrators on the market that allow you to experience vibration while you shower,” says Suwinyattichaiporn. For instance, if you enjoy clitoral stimulation outside of the shower, you might invest in a waterproof clitoral vibrator, she suggests.
Already have a vibe? Look it up online to see if you can safely get wet and wild with it. Otherwise, O'Reilly recommends investing in a toy like the We-Vibe Touch, which has a wide, flat surface that’s great for getting you all hot and bothered. Another option is the Le Wand Chrome Grand Bullet, which Sparks says is whisper-quiet.
10. Mix it up with anal masturbation.
“The shower can be a fun place to explore some solo anal play,” says Engle. She specifically recommends tipping a toe (er, finger) into external anal play. The opening of the anal canal is chocked-full of nerve-endings that can respond pleasurably to some loving.
To stimulate your entrance, lather the tip with your finger with lubricant and then experiment with pressure and patterns. You might, for example, swirl the tip round-and-round, or rub the pad of your finger side-to-side.
If you’re an advanced anal player, Engle recommends inserting something into your bum before you get into the shower. “Penetrative anal sex with a dildo can be quite dangerous… if you slip, that is no good,” she says. “But it’s totally safe to insert a butt plug with the help of lube before getting into the shower and then go about touching yourself in other ways once you’re inside the shower.” Actually, combining the sensation of anal pleasure with other types of pleasure in this way may even teach you a little bit about the coveted anal O.
11. Try the “thumbs up.”
If your forefinger and middle finger are always the star of your solo sex show, you're seriously missing out. “Slather your thumb in silicone lube, and twirl it inside of you as the water streams down over your nipples and clitoris,” says O'Reilly. “The shallow penetration may be exactly what your body needs to take it over the top.”
12. Read a sexy story.
No, you can’t take your laptop in the shower with you, but you can go old school with your erotica. “Print out a sexy story, or grab a hot book before you hop into the shower,” says O'Reilly (you can hold it just outside the shower). “When the mood strikes you, you can drop the book and get yourself off using your fingers and fantasy alone.” Not into multitasking? You could also opt for audio erotica, like the Dipsea app.
13. Do your kegels.
O'Reilly says some women find that simply contracting their pelvic floor muscles for a minute or two gets them all riled up on account of the increased circulation to your lady parts. “If you find your body getting turned on by this sexercise routine, let your mind follow suit as it wanders into an escapist fantasy,” she says.
14. Take a bath.
The only thing hotter than shower masturbation? Bath masturbation. If you’re the type who reallyyyyy needs to relax in order to get in the mood, a bath might be just what you need to take your O to the next level. Just lock the door.
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