16 Halloween Costumes So Easy You Might Actually Have to Dress Up

So you're what most people might call—and I'm speaking technically here—a "real lazy motherfucker", huh? Don't even sweat it, dude. Acceptance is the first step towards change. In fact, I'll do you one better: don't change. At all. Embrace that shit. Revel in it. Being all industrious and whatnot isn't what it's cracked up to be. You're telling me you want to be an adult-sized version of the kid reminding the teacher about assigning homework all the damn time? Do your part to help destigmatize laziness today!

Honestly, I'm not even sure I'm cool calling it "laziness". Why not say you "thrive on a deadline"? Or you're "calm under pressure"? Or, hell, your "creative process tends to benefit with a time-crunch as a catalyst"? What I'm saying is, if you already know you're about to completely blank on picking out a costume this year, there's no shame in saving the whole sordid ordeal until the last minute. (On the contrary—it would, as the kids say, be very on brand.) And if you can't be bothered to put in the digital legwork tracking down a prize-winning get-up or DIY-ing one yourself, lean all the way into the ethos that got you this far in life and wing the damn thing. (Using any of the options handily included below, naturally.)

Fuck your overzealous holiday spirit, you bozos. Why don't you take your sad, highly-prepared selves and slink on out of here? Ain't nobody got time for that. Talk to me on, like, the evening of October 30th.