It's no secret that we love Halloween around here! From winding your way through a corn maze (make sure you take a photo that pairs nicely with these fall Instagram captions) to setting up a movie marathon featuring the best Halloween movies of all time, October is chock-full of friendly Halloween family activities that lead up to the spooky holiday.
To help you have as much fun as possible in preparation for the all those tricks and treats, we’ve compiled some of the best Halloween jokes that are funny enough to make a skeleton roll in his grave with laughter (and put even the best dad jokes to shame). From ghosts and goblins to witches and mummies—the whole gang is present for these jokes!
Whether you’re trick-or-treating through the neighborhood or celebrating at home this year, these jokes will definitely boost the fun factor for your Halloween. Here’s one of our favorites: “Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!” (ba-duhm-shh). And don’t fret if you run out of Halloween jokes at the party—these pumpkin jokes and funny Halloween memes will really give ‘em pumpkin to talk about!
Funny Ghost and Goblin Jokes
Why do ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
What is in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers.
Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
Why did the ghost starch his sheet? He wanted everyone scared stiff.
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
What's a ghost's favorite dessert? I-Scream!
Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo hooing.
Funny Mummy Jokes
Why don’t mummies take time off? They’re afraid to unwind.
Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
What kind of music do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music.
Why don’t mummies have friends? Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Funny Vampire Jokes
Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A grave problem.
How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
Funny Skeleton Jokes
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
Know why skeletons are so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper.
What do skeletons order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
Funny Witch Jokes
What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
What kind of food would you find on a haunted beach? A sand-witch!
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
What do you call two witches who live together? Broom-mates!
What's a witch's favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
More Halloween Jokes That Are Too Punny!
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
What type of plants do well on all Hallow’s Eve? Bam-BOO!
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