Lamorne Morris on a New Girl Reunion and the One Dating Rule He Thinks Is B.S.

Lamorne Morris is best known for playing Winston Bishop on New Girl, but that’s not the character from his catalog he relates to the most. “It’s Keef,” he says, referring to his latest role on Hulu’s new comedy series Woke, streaming now. 

Morris plays Keef Knight, an up-and-coming cartoonist who'’ finally on the verge of mainstream success, but a traumatic incident with police changes everything. “I immediately thought, Holy crap, this reminds me of me,” Morris tells me over the phone. “I said, ‘Man, this is definitely my journey.’ We walk the same walk politically, we talk the same talk. We both have this ‘magical Negro' syndrome where you’re always polite and happy. I immediately thought, I don’t know if anybody is attached to this project, but I gotta get in here somehow.”

On Woke, Keef is focused on his world and his world only. It’s a mindset Morris has been in before. “I’m in my 30s, and only recently have I started caring, to be quite honest,” he says. “I would hear friends talk about politics and shy away from it, quite frankly because I didn’t know shit. I was like, ‘Yeah, that sucks; that’s terrible what happened over there, but it didn’t happen to my house,’ so I’d put my Xbox back on and keep playing Call of Duty.” 

He continues, “But you start paying more attention. Hopefully, with a show like this, regardless of the timeliness of it, it’s a chance for people to keep the conversation [about social and racial injustices] moving forward.” 

And while Morris admits the word woke has been tossed around too loosely, he’s all for any movement that pushes people to educate themselves. “At its essence, being ‘woke’ means something,” he says. “It means to be aware, to be clear on objectives, and to be more informed.” 

So yes, Woke is a very necessary and timely show, but it’s also a delightfully funny, easily binge-able 30-minute comedy. And I’m not just saying that because Morris and I are old friends. With that spirit in mind, I challenged Morris to a round of  Inappropriate Questions, Glamour’s column that asks all the cheeky, slightly off-kilter stuff best saved for a second (or third) date. Read on. 

The cartoon that Keef creates is called Toast and Butter. Name me some of your favorite pairings, from food to rom-com couples to basketball teammates. Who goes together like toast and butter in your world? 

Ooh, I would say, right now, LeBron James and Anthony Davis go together like toast and butter. The old version of that is Mike and Scottie [Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen from the Chicago Bulls]. Rom-coms? Even though it’s not a rom-com, I’d like to say Kevin Hart and The Rock had a romantic thing going on. They just do! I don’t care what they’re doing, I’m just on board.

I thought you were going to say Ferguson the cat and Winston. 

Winston and Ferguson definitely go together like toast and butter! That’s above anything else. I was just trying to leave myself out of it, but let me tell you something: I go well with everything. [Laughs.]

Of course. And what about food pairings? 

A nice T-bone steak that I’ve grilled with a glass of Cooper and Thief red wine. That’s my go-to. 

Good choice. Okay, you talk to inanimate objects on the show, so who do you talk to when no one is watching? 

A lot of times I’m talking to my laptop, which I’ve broken a many of times because it will not function. I go, “What’s wrong with you?” as if it’s going to respond back to me. Sometimes I’ll talk to my friend’s pets and have a full conversation with a dog. He won’t respond, but I understand. 

I talk to my car. Do you ever talk to your car? 

When I first got my car, I started talking to it because I couldn’t believe that car would choose me. I was in a great relationship from afar with this car ever since I was a kid, but now that I own it, I’ll be honest with you…I’d make love to that car, I really would.

Do you want to tell our readers what kind of car you drive? 

I drive a Lamborghini Urus.

I’d marry your car too. It's gorgeous. 

Yeah, I’d kiss it, I’d romance it. Obviously with its permission. I would definitely court the car, take it out on nice walks, dates…vacations, if I could. Marry the car.

Do you have a name for the car? 

Lambo. [Laughs.]

You do not.

No, no, no. [Laughs.] It’s a name that people have heard me say before, because it’s what I call my comedy album. I call my car “The Lamorning After.”

What is the first outrageous purchase you made when you started making money?

I bought a gold Rolex, and [former New Girl costar] Jake Johnson called me an idiot when I bought it. But Max Greenfield said it’s a great buy because the value appreciates over time, and it looks nice and it’s classy. He said, “You’re going to kick yourself if you don’t because you work hard, so maybe spend some money on something once in a while.” Cause I was very frugal for a while.

I agree with Max. Okay, I don’t know if you’ve googled yourself in a while, but one of the first things that comes up is “Lamorne Morris wife.” So do you care to tell me anything? 

You mean since you and I have gotten divorced? [Laughs.] I don’t know! People still think I’m with my ex, [even though] she’s been in a relationship [with someone else] for years at this point. We’ve been broken up for a while, but I still get messages from people who think otherwise. And Nasim Pedrad [is someone else people link me to]. She’s one of my favorite people, if not my favorite person, to work with. We did New Girl together, when we played husband and wife, and were in a movie together [Netflix’s Desperados], where we were a couple, so people think we are together or should be together. I constantly get those messages. So that’s probably what people are asking. Probably more so about Nasim.

Which cartoon or comic book character would you most want to be friends with, and who would you want to date? 

I probably want to be friends with Gambit from the Marvel universe. I love that dude. He has this affinity for cards, which I’m really bad at it, but I try to do tricks. If I got coaching, I could be good. So him for sure. And who would I want to date? The wife on Family Guy, Lois. Just because Peter is an idiot and he has done everything in his power to end that relationship, but somehow she still finds the good qualities in him. I would love for someone to find the [good] qualities in my stupidity.

Is there a relationship rule that is total B.S., and if so, why? 

The idea that it has to be the male who starts [a conversation]. You can think a woman is interested in you and make a move, but oh boy, is that letdown aggressive. I’m sensitive and I get low. [Laughs.] So, for me, it’s the rule that I have to be the one to start it. If a woman is interested in somebody, start the conversation. I am really shy at initial things.

Knowing how much you love basketball, if your future partner wasn’t into it, is that a deal breaker? 

She doesn’t exist to me. Dead to me. [Laughs.] No, no. As long as they understand that basketball comes first and they’ll never take the place of LeBron James. [Laughs.] No, no, I'm kidding. As long as someone understands I like it and won’t stop me from watching it, that’s all [I ask for]. If they have a problem with that, then we have a problem.

What is the sexiest thing about yourself? 

About myself? Oof. Maybe it’s that I don’t take myself too seriously.

I think it’s your kindness to everyone. 

Aww, well, thank you. I was going to say that. [Laughs.] Kidding.

Most romantic thing you’ve done for a girlfriend? 

I’ve done quite a few things, but this is the thing that sticks out: It was her birthday, and I left filming—which was in another country—to fly back and surprise her on her birthday. I had sent gifts and a video message saying I’m sorry I can’t be there, blah, blah, blah, but in fact, I sent that video message from around the corner [of her house].

Oh my gosh, Lamorne! Did you still have a job when you went back? 

I did. [Laughs.] But I did cost production because it was hard on them. They made some adjustments, but it was a really rough shoot for the rest of the week. But I was like, “I’m not missing it. Sorry, guys. I have to do this.” I was always gone for work a lot, so I just wasn’t going to miss her birthday that year.

What is something everyone seems to love but you majorly dislike? 

Potato salad. People love potato salad for some reason, and I’m like, “How the hell do you like that?” It’s disgusting, the texture is horrible, and it smells horrible. Even turkey stuffing. I hate that too. Also, I will say this…I don’t hate it, but I’m not a fan of it: football. Am I going to be blacklisted? I love basketball so much, so everything else pales in comparison, but I’m not that big of a football fan.

Okay, you’re alone in bed, about to fall asleep. What are you thinking about? 

Besides Zoë Kravitz…

Wait, is that your celebrity crush? I feel like a terrible friend for not knowing this.

Oh, yes! Are you kidding me?! I met her once in passing. She was dancing with her mom at this party we were at. I chickened out, and they were like, “Hey!” and I was like, “Hello!” and just kept it moving. [Laughs.] I was like, “Oh my gosh.” I just couldn’t talk to her.

Okay, last few questions. Screw, marry, or kill: Weed, a cocktail, or pizza? 

I would kill weed even though it helps me sleep and I enjoy it. I would screw a cocktail because that’s a fun time. And I’d marry pizza because it’s sustenance and helps me sustain. [Laughs.]

And since we’re on the topic of alcohol, do you have a hangover cure? 

Sleep tons and drink tons of water. Usually between each drink I have, I’ll drink a bottle of water, because that helps neutralize [the alcohol]. And they say milk thistle works. I’ve done it and it did help. You take some milk thistle capsules before you drink, and that usually does the trick.

Last thing: Because lots of iconic casts are reuniting right now, would you do a New Girl reunion. Or is it still too soon for that? 

I would love to do it now. We’re seeing a reemergence of New Girl on Netflix. It’s booming. I’m getting almost as many messages about New Girl now as I did when the show was on. So if we were to do a reunion, I would love to. I don’t know if it’s a one-off episode, a movie, a shortened season…I have no idea. But it’s a small cast, so I think we could adhere to the quarantine and social distancing rules perfectly fine. I think it would be fun, actually!

Woke is now streaming on Hulu. 

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Jessica Radloff is the Glamour West Coast editor. You can follow her on Instagram at @jessicaradloff14.

Originally Appeared on Glamour