L.A. Affairs: He said having sex with me was like eating salad. Excuse me?

Olivia de Recat
"Several years ago, my boyfriend at the time told me that having sex with me was like eating a salad."
"Several years ago, my boyfriend at the time told me that having sex with me was like eating a salad."
The metaphor sent me into a spiral.
The metaphor sent me into a spiral.
"He'd say things like, 'You're too serious' ... I went rogue. I tried being spicier, sweeter, umami-er."
"He'd say things like, 'You're too serious' ... I went rogue. I tried being spicier, sweeter, umami-er."
"I stewed on it for months. Eventually we broke up."
"I stewed on it for months. Eventually we broke up."
"'What kind of salad do you think I'd be?' I asked my friends weeks after the breakup.... I had to know."
"'What kind of salad do you think I'd be?' I asked my friends weeks after the breakup.... I had to know."
Illustrations of Harvest Bowl from Sweetgreen, Wedge from Musso & Frank, Papaya Salad from Jitlada and DIY Salad.
Illustrations of Harvest Bowl from Sweetgreen, Wedge from Musso & Frank, Papaya Salad from Jitlada and DIY Salad.
"I didn't have sex for a year.... All I knew was I didn't want to feel like someone was 'having me.' I wanted to be savored."
"I didn't have sex for a year.... All I knew was I didn't want to feel like someone was 'having me.' I wanted to be savored."
"Three years later, there it was. Fragrant with dill and parsley, sprinkled with bits of preserved lemon. The Green Goddess."
"Three years later, there it was. Fragrant with dill and parsley, sprinkled with bits of preserved lemon. The Green Goddess."
"For the first time in a long time, I was the one who decided: This is delicious."
"For the first time in a long time, I was the one who decided: This is delicious."
"I smiled. Across from me was someone new. We savored every bite."
"I smiled. Across from me was someone new. We savored every bite."

The author is a writer and cartoonist based in Los Angeles. She is the author of "Drawn Together: Illustrated True Love Stories" (Voracious, 2022). She's on Instagram: @drawingolive

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published 950- to 1,000-word essay. (Occasionally we work with artists and cartoonists on illustrated stories.) Email your essay to LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times.