Kristin Cavallari has her 'own stash' of money separate from her husband's — why that's a good idea

Reality star and designer Kristin Cavallari has made it clear that her finances are separate from those of her husband, former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler. And in a new interview, she says that other women should consider doing the same.

“I have my own bank account … I just think it’s important for the woman to have a little independence,” she told Us Weekly. “If I want to buy Jay a present for example, I don’t want him to see it on a credit card statement, you know? And if I want to buy a pair of shoes, I’m sure as hell not gonna ask [him]. I’m gonna use my own damn money.

“The woman should have [her] own stash,” she continued. “You should never rely on a guy for any of that kind of stuff ’cause then it’s like … it’s a control thing too.”

Cavallari’s separate finances also came up in an August episode of her show, Very Cavallari, when she was deciding whether to buy a home in Nashville with her own money. “You have your money, but then all of my money is our money,” Cutler argued on the show. “That’s how it should be, though,” she said. “The girl should have her own stash. No girl should ever have to stay in a relationship because the guy is supporting her. … I’m with you because I love you, not because I need you.”

Cavallari and Cutler aren’t the only couple to have separate finances — licensed family therapist David Klow, owner of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago and author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters from Your Therapist, tells Yahoo Lifestyle that several of his patients do as well. “For some couples that I work with in my practice in Chicago, they benefit from having separate bank accounts, even if it is simply for helping them organize and keep track of their finances,” he says.

Kristin Cavallari visits Build to discuss her cookbook, <em>True Roots: A Mindful Kitchen with More Than 100 Recipes Free of Gluten, Dairy, and Refined Sugar</em>, at Build Studio on April 3, 2018, in New York City. (Photo: Mireya Acierto/WireImage)
Kristin Cavallari visits Build to discuss her cookbook, True Roots: A Mindful Kitchen with More Than 100 Recipes Free of Gluten, Dairy, and Refined Sugar, at Build Studio on April 3, 2018, in New York City. (Photo: Mireya Acierto/WireImage)

Still, Klow acknowledges that this can be a sticky topic. “Money can be many things in a relationship,” he says. “It can represent freedom, but it can also be used for control.” But what’s more important than whether a couple have separate bank accounts is how they deal with money together, he says. “If the dynamics are balanced and shared, then finances can be something that a couple teams up on, rather than uses to control one another,” Klow says.

For some couples, separate bank accounts “might just be a sign of independence,” he says. For others, it can be about control or mistrust — and that’s problematic.

If a couple decides to keep separate bank accounts, Klow says, it’s important for them to be aware of the larger dynamics in their relationship. “How is money being used, and are there any strong feelings around financial decisions?” he says. This may be settled with a simple conversation, but if things get heated or you can’t seem to reach an agreement, it’s probably a good idea to bring in a couples counselor for help, Klow says.

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