Kristian Alfonso: What I’ve Learned From Nearly 30 Years on Days of Our Lives

Kristian Alfonso didn't know when she walked onto the set of NBC's iconic daytime drama Days of Our Lives on Friday, March 13, that it would be her last time playing fan favorite Hope Williams Brady. In fact, no one did. Had it been clear, of course there would have been a celebration worthy of the spunky, no-nonsense high school student turned cop, mom, wife, and friend to mark a 37-year show arc that began in 1983. When Alfonso wrapped that four-episode workweek, she had plenty more scripts at home for the following week.

In mid-March, as COVID-19 started shutting down businesses—and TV shows—most assumed it would take just a few weeks to get back to normal. We all know what happened next. When Alfonso returned to the Burbank Studios lot in late July, a place she had called home for 26 consecutive years, it was for an entirely different reason: to clean out her dressing room. There would be no epic last bash, no final plotline, no receiving line of castmates.

Just weeks earlier Alfonso had gotten a call from her boss and dear friend Ken Corday. The Days of Our Lives executive producer is the son of Ted and Betty Corday, who created the Emmy-winning soap opera in 1965. It was Betty Corday who hired Alfonso in her late teens. The Cordays were family—so much so that Ken's wife, Sherry, had thrown Alfonso's baby showers.

But a family business is still a business, so when Corday called Alfonso to relay the news that head writer Ron Carlivati and co–executive producer and director Albert Alarr wanted to take Hope off the canvas for four to five months and then bring her back, Alfonso had an epiphany. Speaking to Glamour, she says, “I thought, You know what? I think it’s time for a new chapter.”

“Did my heart sink? Yes,” Alfonso tells us. “I was not expecting that. But was I relieved? Yes, absolutely. After I hung up, I took a deep breath and thought, Okay, I don’t have to learn that next script. It was a big feeling. But in the end, by allowing Albert and Ron to take me off canvas, [Ken] had actually given me a great gift. I have no hard feelings.”

For years, Alfonso says, Corday made her promise never to leave Days until the very last show (NBC renewed the long-running soap for a 56th season earlier this year). But this time he understood. Says Alfonso: “I've been so fulfilled on so many levels. And I don't regret staying [during the times I wanted to leave] because Ken has been so good to me. I have no regrets. None. I thank Betty Corday. I thank NBC. I always will.”

Still, it was an emotional summer day when Alfonso walked out of the studio, a few personal belongings in hand, for the last time. “It was eerie,” she says. “My husband had come with me, and when we got into the car, our eyes met, and I looked at him and said, ‘Don’t ask me any questions.’” Alfonso isn't one to show her emotions freely (she saves that for the screen), but this time she knew the tears were ready and waiting. “My emotions were right there at the surface,” she says. “I just wanted to take care of what I needed to do. There were so many incredible life moments that took place and happened while I was a part of the Days of Our Lives and NBC family.”

From meeting love of her life Bo Brady at Shenanigans to epic jaunts to New Orleans, New York, and beyond, Alfonso as Hope Brady (and sometimes her alter ego, Princess Gina) has done it all. “I always described her as a diamond in the rough, waiting for another facet of her personality to be discovered, and I loved that,” she says. “She was physical, she was bold, she was strong, she was funny, she made mistakes, she loved hard, even if she knew she was going to get hurt, and most importantly, she never gave up.”

In many ways Hope was just like Kristian Alfonso herself. “If I could go back as a young girl walking into Days in 1983, I would tell myself, ‘Thank you for taking the risk. You’re about to go on an incredible journey. It's one you will always be eternally grateful for.’”

Ahead of her last appearance on October 14, Alfonso opens up to Glamour about the lessons she's learned along the way, from the value of nerves on the job to asking for what you need.

Simplify big work decisions.

When my contract was up for renewal in the mid-’80s, I remember not knowing whether to stay or go. I asked my dad for advice. I was like, “Should I stay, should I leave? I just don’t know what to do.” And he asked me if I was happy, and I said, “I am happy.” And he said, “Well, there’s your answer.”

Being nervous can actually serve you well in your job.

I am always nervous because I want to be great. I've never been the person who is like, “Let’s just get this done and I’ll collect my paycheck.” I want the audience to feel what the character is feeling. I want to give it my best. I want to give them their money’s worth. They gave me their time; I want to give them some enjoyment. But even though I’d been at Days for so long, some actors would tease me for feeling nervous. But my parents would always tell me, “Kristian, it’s good to be nervous—you never want to be too comfortable.”

Don’t mistake your job for your identity.

None of my identity is wrapped up in playing Hope. When they say cut, I’m out. I’m Kristian. Ultimately, a job is a job, and a lot of relationships—great relationships, even—are created [from those jobs], but never assume anything. Just show up prepared. Be professional. And always be respectful of your coworkers, regardless of who’s been there for how long. It doesn’t matter. We’re all trying to accomplish the same thing.

Never be afraid to let others know what you need.

I never miss a family moment, a life moment, ever. And Days always knew that. If something was happening back East with my family, then I'm getting on that plane. My family trumps everything. They are my heart and soul. So I was never afraid to ask for days off, and Days worked with me to make that happen.

It’s okay to learn as you go. You don’t need to know everything now.

Being in the business world and having my jewelry line, I kind of learned as I went. I had real estate ventures too and would buy property and manage it in addition to Days. I was brought up that you can do anything you want to do. And to believe in yourself. Not that there aren’t going to be tough times and you’re going to fall and stumble, but the important thing is to get back up. Sometimes you get back up a little slower, but don’t let anything or anyone hold you down.

Learn to be a great negotiator.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a great negotiator, but it's important to remember every situation is different. What worked once may not work again. But you need to be able to compromise, to not dig your heels in, because there is always a way around something. You can always make something work. A little give and a little take. And being fair.

Loyalty matters.

I actually really thought about leaving Days four years ago. And I didn't. I stayed. Ken Corday asked me not to leave, so I stayed for him. I don’t regret my decision because Ken Corday has been truly wonderful to me. I love his family. I love his wife. I’ve always felt such great love and support from the Corday family. So I have no regrets about staying. Sometimes things happen in families and you need to take a breather, but that doesn’t mean your love diminishes.

Never stop putting in the hard work, no matter how successful you become.

Sometimes, on the weekend, I’d be sitting at the kitchen table all weekend thinking about how I’m going to learn all this dialogue, because it would be so much. But I have to be prepared. Days was paying me a very generous salary, so I wanted to make sure they got even more for their money. And because it's a total workout to memorize all that dialogue, I even hired someone to come to the house and run dialogue with me the last few years. That way, when I walked onto set on Monday mornings, I knew all eight and a half episodes.

Give yourself a break.

For me, seize each moment and appreciate it and don’t look the other way. Watch where you’re going and enjoy it. And pause. And take in the beauty that is really before you before it’s too late, because you don’t know what the next moment will bring. You really don’t.

Jessica Radloff is the Glamour West Coast editor. You can follow her on Instagram @jessicaradloff14 and Twitter @JRadloff.

Originally Appeared on Glamour