What Kind of Therapy Is Right for You?
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SO YOU'VE HEARD about it, wondered about it, and maybe even decided to give it a try. But how to actually get therapy that feels right is the rub. Unless you have some experts to walk you through. Fortunately, we do, and now you do, too. See which approach appeals to you and discover what to expect. Then, reach out and get it. Some of these options are low-cost or free.
IF YOU WANT:
A Right-Now Answer
Try: A (helpful) bot.
Most genres of therapy rely on pattern recognition in yourself and others, so it makes sense that AI would inevitably come for mental health. Text-based chatbot apps like Woebot and Wysa help you work things with rudimentary behavioral therapy. Apps like Earkick help by tracking your mood.
What to expect: Often for free, a chatty human-ish texter can provide instantaneous advice that, though useful, can sometimes sound like HAL 9000.
IF YOU WANT:
The Wisdom of a Hive
Try: Group therapy.
Don’t let the cliché of sad sacks in a circle scare you away. Groups guided by mental-health pros offer the benefits of individual therapy without the price tag.
What to expect: You might not talk as much as in a one-on-one, but it’s often about half the price, and many people find learning from others therapeutic. The American Group Psychotherapy Association has a searchable database of group therapists.
IF YOU WANT:
A Support System
Try: Peer support groups.
Ranging in formality and focus, these are mostly led by trained facilitators but tend to rely more on the communal support structure to give guidance and solace. Many, like the ManKind Project and MenLiving, are dedicated to supporting men and those male identifying. Even a yoga group can be a peer support group of a sort.
What to expect: There are as many types of peer support groups as there are peers, but many men’s groups emphasize accountability, vulnerability, and camaraderie through regular IRL or online meetings. Often free.
IF YOU WANT:
Therapy From Home
Try: Online therapy.
Services like BetterHelp, Talkspace, Brightside Health, and Thriveworks connect you to a network of live therapists. There are tons of these services now, so carefully check the credentials of the therapists listed.
What to expect: After filling out a basic form, you’ll be matched with a therapist, with whom you can chat, text, or call (depending on your plan). Some services charge a weekly subscription fee of roughly $65 to $90.
IF YOU WANT:
The Next Gen of Therapists
Try: Psychology clinics.
A one-on-one can be expensive, truth, but many universities offer lower-cost treatment by doctoral students in their psychology programs. Contact a local school’s clinical-psychology department to see if it does this.
What to expect: After answering a few questions, you’ll be assigned a doctoral-student therapist who works with you under the supervision of a clinical psychologist. Usually between $5 and $50 a session.
IF YOU WANT:
To DIY
Try: Lifestyle changes.
Per therapists themselves, including MH advisor Gregory Scott Brown, M.D., many symptoms of anxiety and depression can be helped with lifestyle moves—you know, in areas like sleep, eating, and spirituality (not necessarily religion). If you’re experiencing depression, debilitating anxiety, or an acute mental-health crisis, these changes are necessary but not always sufficient. See someone.
What to expect: The challenge is less in making changes than in sticking with them without the support structure of a therapist or coach.
IF YOU WANT:
The Experimental
Try: Psychedelic-assisted therapy.
Experts say these therapies can be a good way to address problems and wounds that you might keep hidden in an unaltered state. Ketamine can be effective for depression and alcohol-use disorder; research is being done on MDMA and psilocybin as well.
What to expect: With ketamine-assisted work, someone should remain present through your experience and a therapist should help you unpack realizations from the trip in follow-up talk sessions. One session can cost $300 to $600; a full course of treatment, usually six sessions, runs a few thousand dollars.
IF YOU WANT:
A High-Powered Option
Try: Intensives.
Interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) done for 12 to 16 weeks can be effective for mood disorders like depression. Short-term exposure therapy done for multiple hours a day over three weeks can help with PTSD, anxiety, and phobias.
What to expect: IPT sessions ($100 to $200 each) help you manage current problems and relationships. Intensive exposure therapy involves exposing you to the very thing you’re scared of. It can run up to $2,500 a week.
IF YOU WANT:
The Classic
Try: Psychodynamic therapy.
This is probably what comes up when you think of therapy. The couch. The questions about your childhood. This path explores the relationship between your subconscious and your conscious mind, exhuming and examining embedded patterns that affect your life today.
What to expect: A typical session (often $100 to $200) is open-ended and patient led. A therapist carefully listens as you basically ramble. Then you’ll discuss the patterns that emerge.
IF YOU WANT:
The Practical
Try: Cognitive behavioral therapy.
Developed by Aaron Beck, M.D., in the 1960s after noticing that many of his patients voiced negative thoughts about themselves—“cognitive distortions,” he called them—CBT helps you become aware of your thoughts and reframe them in more helpful ways.
What to expect: A CBT therapist has you tease out classic patterns like catastrophizing and overgeneralizing and find practical ways to work with them. About $100 to $200 a session.
Now That You Know Where to Start, How Do You Stop?
Cues that it's time to quit therapy
“Consider why you came to therapy in the first place and whether you have met and reached the goals you initially came in for,” says therapist Vienna Pharaon, author of The Origins of You. Suppose you’ve worked with your therapist on an issue such as how to communicate with your teen or your manager, or how to set boundaries. If what you’re doing is working—and you know how to regroup when it’s not—listen to the feeling. Therapy doesn’t have to go on forever.
How to break up with your therapist
If you aren’t feeling your therapist, “the first thing to do is name it with them,” says Pharaon. “Those conversations can be difficult but powerful.” If it still isn’t clicking, let them know that you’re moving on. Be kind, and don’t worry. If anyone can deal gracefully with rejection, it’s a trained professional.
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