Why Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's 'Band-Aid' fight is so relatable

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Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, seen here in June, have seen their relationship change after having kids. (Photo: Getty Images)
Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, seen here in June, have seen their relationship change after having kids. (Photo: Getty Images)

On Sunday night’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim Kardashian’s constant fighting with her husband, Kanye West, was a huge topic of family discussion.

First, Kardashian opened up about how hectic her life has become ever since she became a mother of three. Then, she talked to her sisters about how she’s been fighting with West lately. One fight was over what to post on her Instagram feed; another was about getting West the right kind of Band-Aid.

“He was like, ‘I’ve slaved around the world for you, making clothes for you, to make sure that you find the best outfit and you let me go out wearing a Jesus Band-Aid,’” Kardashian told her sister Khloé. “He said I should have skin-colored Band-Aids. So I’m running around looking for different colored Band-Aids when I’ve got three kids to look after?”

She continued, “When you have three kids, it’s kind of a wild household. I’m kind of annoyed because I wish he would understand I’m exhausted. Like, go get your own Band-Aid.”

West later told Kardashian that he felt like if their son, Saint, wanted a particular type of Band-Aid, she would have just gotten it for him. She admitted that their fights were “really stupid and lately, we’ve been having a lot. … I think so many husbands feel neglected when you start having kids, and then all of their attention gets taken away,” she said.

Khloé later offered up her own advice on the situation: “Sometimes men still want to be treated as, like, the first baby. I know Kim is so overwhelmed and I think sometimes it’s easy to get distracted, or you think because they’re adults they can take care of themselves, but your husband still wants you to take care of him. I’m sure with three kids you’re tired at the end of the day and you don’t make that a priority, but she really has to.”

Band-Aid argument aside, plenty of parents have been through this type of thing before.

“Oftentimes when people meet, they don’t have a lot of caregiving responsibilities, so they are able to lavish that kind of attention on each other,” licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?, tells Yahoo Lifestyle. “When a child come along, unless you have a lot of wealth or help, something has to give. Obviously the child takes priority.”

That’s when spouses can start to feel neglected. “It’s important to set the tone early on, before you even have kids,” Durvasula says. “It’s almost a hard thing to fix after the fact. If you were playing caregiver before you had children, you’re breaking a role — and that can be hard for a spouse to deal with.”

Once a child is born, communication — and positive talk — is crucial, Durvasula says. “Under the fatigue of a new child, it’s not unusual for both people to be abrupt or tired,” she says. “If the person asks for the proverbial Band-Aid, it’s easy to say, ‘Go get it yourself.’”

This goes both ways, though. “The person who is asking for something should pay attention to shifting caregiving roles, and the person responding to it needs to check their tone,” Durvasula says. “Don’t take your fatigue out on each other. It’s a really easy thing to do.”

Overall, couples need to pay attention to the relationship, even when things are hectic. “That may mean communicating when the child is sleeping and letting the other person know you appreciate them,” Durvasula says.

As for showing you care, couples don’t necessarily need to make big gestures. “Even the littlest of things matter,” she says. “Give each other the time and ask yourself every day, ‘Am I giving this relationship what it needs?’ Both of you need to be doing that.”

Kardashian eventually decided to make things up to West and gave him a heart-shaped box of Band-Aids, along with some lingerie. “After my conversation with Khloé, the one thing that I realized is I make such a priority for all the kids, and I go above and beyond for them, but in that, I’m fully neglecting my husband,” she said. “So I just want to give Kanye the attention and love that he needs. … When you have so many kids, it’s important to still make your relationship a top priority.”

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