Kim K’s Cringiest Millennial IG Captions, Lovingly Judged by a Gen Zer
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Nothing tickles me more than reading millennial Instagram captions. The punctuation, the emojis, the ironic hashtags—they just do it differently. As a Gen Zer who works in social media, coming up with captions to brand onto each of your posts is no simple feat. I’m not here to make fun of the mills (that’s Gen Z slang for millennials); I’m just pointing out that my generation is quick to judge their captions. I mean, we even judge the socks they’re wearing.
I actually applaud millennial humor. When John Legend got another honorary doctorate and Chrissy Teigen sarcastically dragged him in her IG caption saying she has way more? That was funny! When Blake Lively wrote, “Since the day our baby was born, I’ve felt so strongly in my heart that you were most likely the father 😳😁😋😊😉😉😍😎😍#ILoveYouSoMuchItsSilly” in her first Father’s Day post to Ryan Reynolds? Also funny! But as much as they are hilarious, they do make me cringe a bit… but in a good way?
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The person who I think showcases the best millennial caption craftsmanship is Kim Kardashian. I love Kimmy and might just be on her list of top 50 fans, but she is simply one of the funniest humans on this planet. I performed a light investigation looking through Kim’s Instagram captions and pulled 12, all in an effort to show you exactly how hilariously cringe they are from a Gen Z perspective.
“we need light”
This one makes me laugh because Kim says “we need light,” which, yes, is true. She gives us a carousel of images with different light settings, but they’re all of her in the same pose, lol. Gen Z knows the formula for throwing up a good photo dump on Insta, and we would never give you this much redundancy.
“Thoughts on Honey? Should I dye my hair platinum again or go dark?”
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Millennials love to use their social platforms to ask for advice or opinions on literally anything happening in their lives. Gen Z does the same, but I feel like we’re never asking about semi-serious appearance-altering changes. It’s more like, “Do I buy this burrito or no?” But to answer her question, I dig her platinum era.
“Ayyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee”
She is feelin’ herself! I love it when millennials say “aye” just as much as when Kim shows off her silly side. When mills say “aye,” they say it with their whole heart. Gen Z almost always uses it as a joke.
“I’m actually never free, I just make time”
This is the exact vibe every thirst trap mirror pic needs. Did she pull this caption off Pinterest? The world may never know, but I will say I have friends who pull the same type of baddie energy for their captions.
“Never been a hater, I don’t care enough 🎼”
Song lyrics as an Instagram caption? I can’t say I’ve never seen it done before. A millennial go-to for any post-concert photo dump. I feel like Gen Zers get a little more sappy with their concert captions, dropping in a memory from the night or a cute quote the artist said onstage.
“To inspire people, don’t show them your super powers…show them theirs ✨”
This one hurts my eyes. Yes, I feel like the power Kim’s trying to project onto us, but there’s nothing I find more cringe than when people use inspirational quotes as Instagram captions, especially followed by the sparkle emoji.
“Smiling on the inside”
I physically chuckled the day this one crossed my feed. What’s ironically hysterical is the fact that she’s fully dressed in a black pantsuit with a sinister-esque choker. Smiling is the exact opposite vibe she has going for her right now.
“Hey”
I swear, sometimes millennials post Instagram pictures like they’re sending texts to friends. Yes, I want to say “hey” back to Kim, but Gen Z saves this type of conversational content for IG stories. They could never put something so unaesthetic to their main feed.
“♾️ crew”
This………is just criminal. The infinity sign? Are we back in our Tumblr days? Gen Z denounced the infinity sign, like, before we were born.
“Can’t a girl get a good solo pic pleaseeeee”
Something mills and Gen Zers can both agree on is a good photo opp. While I’ve seen many Instagram pose faux pas (don’t get me started on the standing pose with hands on the hips versus waist), Kim Kardashian always knows how to work her angles.
“practice what you post ✌🏼💋”
Telltale signs of a well-cultured millennial: duck lips and a peace sign. Don’t ever let a Gen Zer catch you throwing up this combo, we might just guess your age. Oops.
“When you don’t sacrifice for what you want, what you want becomes the sacrifice”
Ok, Miss Philosopher. I’ve read this one to myself over and over, and I still don’t exactly know what it means (mills love showing off their wiseness), but I’m going to let her have her moment because she rocks that bodysuit.
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